Hello Again :)

solsticegirl761

Just thought I would say Hi Again after I think my first post a while back was a little BSC. Sorry

Weather sucks here and I'm still stuck at work. Snow, snow and more snow here in TX. Hope the drive home is not a total mess but I fear it will be.

My question is did any of you find the ring before the proposal?  I accidentally found the ring box last week. It was totally by chance.  I never go through my BF's stuff but he didn't hide it very well. I was picking up around the house and he always leaves his gym back on the kitchen table. One of his protein containers was sitting outside his bag so I unzipped his bag to put it back in and there it was the box sitting right on top. Kind of wish I hadn't found it but on the other hand it's a relief to know that a proposal is coming at some point. He has no idea that I know he has it. I was just about to get my nerve up to have the talk about where we might be headed in our relationship. So now I'm just trying to enjoy the time since it will only happen once . The only thing I've really changed is I've got back on the eating right wagon. Been trying to get on track for a while now but this has given me a lot more motivation.

jenjen047

I'm NEY so I can't offer any first hand experience but I think you're doing the right things. Enjoy the anticipation and try not to obsess over it. Also, you have no idea when he is planning to propose, so don't let it get you down if it doesn't happen right away. It could be weeks or even months away. In other threads people have suggested trying a new hobby to keep you occupied. Eating healthy definitely sounds like a great thing to focus on!

bethsmiles

You haven't talked about where your relationship is going? Have you talked about marriage at all? If you want kids? About finances? Religion? Pets? Goals/plans you have for the future? I'm sorry that just really sticks out in your post to me. There are so many things you should talk about before even getting engaged. I hope you've had those serious conversations and if not I highly suggest having them. This is a person you are planning on sharing your life with forever, you shouldn't have to "work up the nerve" to have these types of conversations. 

solsticegirl761

Thanks ladies We have talked about all of the things listed. We have also talked about marriage just not in a sit down formal conversation.

JennyColada

I remember when DH and I talked about marriage and he told me he bought a ring (we had an agreement to wait until we'd been dating 6 months to get engaged, although the goof only got to month 5... Not that I'm complaining!).

I was super excited and just wanted to ask him to propose NOW. But I knew that, looking back, I'd kick myself for feeling like I ruined it.

It can be hard to just relax and enjoy the moment when you're SO excited for the future. I agree with your statement that it will only happen once. So true! I often tell my friends to enjoy the pre-engaged time because soon you will NEVER be a "girlfriend" ever again!

nowittyusername

I'm NEY either, but we have had the talk about it, and I know it's coming.  Maybe I am the odd one out here, but I'm not worried/anxious about when it will happen. He is taking me to Napa in May, so I am more excited and anxious for that than anything else.

So with that in mind, maybe if you had something else to look forward to it will take your mind off of it.  Maybe a cheap weekend getaway with SO, or a girls' weekend with your friends or mom?

jenjen047

nowittyusername said:

I'm NEY either, but we have had the talk about it, and I know it's coming.  Maybe I am the odd one out here, but I'm not worried/anxious about when it will happen.

Completely agree with you there! Last time I was in a relationship that I thought was headed to marriage I was anxious and thinking every holiday/date night, etc. was "it". This time around, I know it's coming (we are on the same page that it will happen this year and BF even told me he already knows how/when/where he wants to do it) but yet I don't feel stressed or anxious about it at all. It actually makes me feel relaxed that it's in his hands and he has a plan.

nowittyusername

jenjen047 said:

nowittyusername said:

I'm NEY either, but we have had the talk about it, and I know it's coming.  Maybe I am the odd one out here, but I'm not worried/anxious about when it will happen.

Completely agree with you there! Last time I was in a relationship that I thought was headed to marriage I was anxious and thinking every holiday/date night, etc. was "it". This time around, I know it's coming (we are on the same page that it will happen this year and BF even told me he already knows how/when/where he wants to do it) but yet I don't feel stressed or anxious about it at all. It actually makes me feel relaxed that it's in his hands and he has a plan.

I'm so glad you said this! It's a comfortable feeling.  I've had friends basically make me feel bad that I'm not being BSC about it.  I can't explain it properly, but what you said is a perfect explanation!

speakeasy14

Are you sure it is a ring?  Did you open the box?  If you didn't, then it isn't a ring.  .  If you get all excited and it turns out that it is some other type of jewelry, you're going to be let down.  Convince yourself that it is earrings or some other type of jewelry, so no matter what you are surprised.

To answer your question, I'm NEY.  My bf's family owns a jewelry store. I'm 100% sure I will never find a ring before the proposal.  If it isn't at the store, it is locked in his dad's safe.  He made my mom's engagement ring and I knew nothing about it. 

solsticegirl761

speakeasy14 said:

Are you sure it is a ring?  Did you open the box?  If you didn't, then it isn't a ring.  .  If you get all excited and it turns out that it is some other type of jewelry, you're going to be let down.  Convince yourself that it is earrings or some other type of jewelry, so no matter what you are surprised.

 I did open the box. I just peeked real quick and snapped it back shut. It's the one that I picked out last summer. It is a set with the E-ring and band together. I really only got a look at the band because I closed it so fast. Afterwards, I thought maybe I shouldn't have looked but I wasn't thinking clearly at the moment.

nowittyusername said:

I'm NEY either, but we have had the talk about it, and I know it's coming.  Maybe I am the odd one out here, but I'm not worried/anxious about when it will happen. He is taking me to Napa in May, so I am more excited and anxious for that than anything else.

I know what you mean by not being worried or anxious. I'm not really feeling that way. I'm more chill about it now than I was before I found the ring. Guess knowing it will happen kind of takes the edge off. Enjoy your trip to Napa. I would love to go there someday.