I've lost my bliss

mrsconn23

Dear Prudence,
I am a woman in my mid-30s, with a supportive and loving husband, a toddler, a baby, and a full-time, fulfilling job. I wouldn’t change any of it for the world. But, although I often feel content, I’ve lost the ability to feel the kind of blissful happiness I was capable of feeling in my youth, before kids. I’m seeing a therapist, and she thinks there is nothing wrong with me—that this loss of jubilation is just a fact of growing older and having so much on my plate. My husband disagrees and says he misses the old, more cheerful me. What do you think? Should I break up with my therapist and find someone else to help me find my smile again, or am I just too world-weary for that sort of nonsense?

—Nostalgic for a Happier Version of Me

mrsconn23

Blissful happiness isn't a constant, IMO.  This lady sounds like she's looking for puppies and unicorn farts every.single.day.  Life isn't like that.  

You are just living day to day.  Some days are better than others, but overall...It's life.  You're not going to be happy every second of the day or even every day for days on end.  I mean if you're deeply unhappy (due to mental illness or circumstances) and can't find anything positive in life, that's something worth examining...but if you're upset because you're not floating on a cloud of awesome every day, I think you have an expectation issue. 

PMeg819

She needs a new therapist. She also needs to find a psychiatrist.

I felt a lot like this over last year. After having DD, I went into survival mode. It ended up putting me in a bad, bad place. I felt like I was on the verge of driving myself to the hospital and requesting an inpatient stay to address things. I'm not say this woman is at that point, but living a joyless life on the day to day can just sap everything from you. No, I'm not happy every single day. I am unhappy and angry, and that is totally okay. But if your partner is also noticing this, I'd take it seriously.

*Barbie*

@Conn - answering yourself - multiple personality disorder? ;-) 

mrsconn23

Hmm.  Yeah, if her H is saying something...Maybe it is time to find someone new and find further therapy. 

But my mom and I had a conversation not too long ago about how the 'trenches' of life is the time when you are raising your family, trying to hold down a career, keep up on a house, and feel like you have a life outside of all of that.  It's a lot to manage/handle and it's definitely like you are just trying to survive day in and day out.  I'm coming from that perspective. 

mrsconn23

*Barbie* said:

@Conn - answering yourself - multiple personality disorder? ;-) 

I give myself the best advice.