Offbeat Bride strikes again!

hellohkb

http://offbeatbride.com/2015/03/crowdfunded-wedding-invitation-wording


*projectile vomits*

bumbletiger88

That would be the fastest I ever RSVP 'NO' to a wedding...

mikenberger

Oh hell to the fucking no. 

And then in the comments: "This is awful...There are ways to ask your family to contribute: BYOB, potluck receptions..." I had such high hopes for that comment. Then crash and burn.

 

allispain

No no no no no. And the trying to be cute about it just makes it even more cringeworthy ("we're sure you have good taste," we "promise" not to use any of your money on our dress, suits, etc.). Just awful.

swiftsticks

The combo of ALL CAPS + font was really difficult to read. Never mind the excessive verbiage and etiquette fails.

I think this is the best example of how not to invite people to a celebration.

redoryx

Prior to coming to TK I was, admittedly, a huge OBB fan and while I still like looking at some of the wedding photos that show up, you ladies have taught me that many of the ideas that OBB promotes and supports are hella tacky and rude. So thank you fabulous folk. 

[Deleted User]

This is so unbelievably tacky, my jaw actually dropped. My favorite line is the sanctimonious "We don't need anything material and unnecessary gift-buying makes us feel a bit sick." -- oh, so you'll turn your nose up at mere materialism because it turns your stomach, but have no problem planning far beyond your means for a wedding you think is unnecessary beyond being a party to celebrate yourselves? How do these people manage to convince themselves that having a huge reception with food and booze and entertainment you can't afford is JUST AS MATERIAL as if someone gave you a tv or a crockpot instead? You're still spending money on things you don't need because you like what it represents!

polkad0t

There is nothing good about these invites.  They're too wordy, too obnoxious, and too covered in a font that looks like a middle school girl's handwriting.  And a festival wedding, ugh!  I just feel like that's so strange and narcissistic in a way.

And I couldn't agree more with sylveonplath. 

Casadena

This makes my heart happy...

Dean 7 mins ago

This is disgusting and so full of etiquette blunders it makes me sick. Talk about material and unnecessary gift-buying…. Gifts are never required at a wedding. Period. Planning something so far outside your means as "gift" for your guests (which is what the reception is; a thank you to all your guests for witnessing your ceremony) is about as materialistic as it gets.

Congrats on the marriage though.

yogablossom

Ew! It just reeks of rude and self entitlement! No way would I attend!

[Deleted User]

Casadena said:

This makes my heart happy...

Dean 7 mins ago

This is disgusting and so full of etiquette blunders it makes me sick. Talk about material and unnecessary gift-buying…. Gifts are never required at a wedding. Period. Planning something so far outside your means as "gift" for your guests (which is what the reception is; a thank you to all your guests for witnessing your ceremony) is about as materialistic as it gets.

Congrats on the marriage though.

Interesting... I left a similar comment that disappeared after "awaiting moderation" that I assumed was deleted for being too critical. I don't see this one though, so maybe my I need to clear my cache? Regardless, I'm glad someone got to point out the purpose of a reception and why it's so rude to ask your guests to pay for it.

ETA: "congrats on the marriage though" is my favorite snarky sign off to these kind of posts, on TK or anywhere else.

hellohkb

@mikenberger @sylveonplath Unfortunately, any comments that remotely disagree with OBB are seen as "SOOO negative!!" "Positive vibes only guys!!"

Some comments may start out bad but they'll ultimately agree or they will be deleted.

momofbride530

Offbeat is one thing but inviting people to fund a reception for a wedding you don't even want is the epitome of greed and materialism.

hellohkb

redoryx said:

Prior to coming to TK I was, admittedly, a huge OBB fan and while I still like looking at some of the wedding photos that show up, you ladies have taught me that many of the ideas that OBB promotes and supports are hella tacky and rude. So thank you fabulous folk. 

Sadly, I was a huge OBB fan too. I loved their wedding porn. A lot of their perspective articles were helpful in reminding me to keep grounded and not get carried away with what the wedding industry tells me to do. Everyone seemed so nice.

But one day I got an email update from what was going on on the message boards. One of the most popular threads was by a girl who claimed she was a "TK refugee" or some other shit and cried and whined how TK was so mean, especially in Etiquette and Invites & Paper. I was on a looooong car ride with FH when I got that email, so to kill time I decided to look around I&P and Etiquette. I was expecting mean girls who gave in to the wedding industrial complex and told you you needed a traditional expensive trendy wedding. Nope, quite the opposite. What I found was the most real and down to earth wedding advice. I was AGREEING with the meanies. So I made a TK account and here I am over a year later.

mklam

Ugh. I kept reading hoping that there would be a 'Just Kidding' or some saving grace at the end. Nope.

Cookie Pusher

I can't understand how people think that being "offbeat" gives them permission to be shitty hosts.

chibiyui

I also used to love OBB. But they are hella tacky.

You can be offbeat and untradiational without being rude as fuck.

southernbelle0915

It's really a shame that "Offbeat Bride" is inching closer and closer to being synonymous with "Offensive Bride".

Offbeat = hot pink wedding dress, saying vows while spelunking, having the bride appear via a magic trick instead of via the processional

Offensive Bride = asking others to fund your wedding, having a cash bar, potluck wedding, honeyfund, tiered reception

Notice how the actual offbeat items don't affect guests at all and the offensive ones are money saving/money grubbing?

swiftsticks

Comments for this article are now closed. Guess it got too heated.

Another gem from OBB: How to Tell your family that Wedding will be adults-only or better titled, "How to Write a Long Winded email to your Guests Instead of Addressing an Invitation Properly and Dealing with any Issues like an Adult".

The Real Weddings are just about the only thing I enjoy on that site anymore. Everything else is just ugh....

[Deleted User]

swiftsticks said:

Comments for this article are now closed. Guess it got too heated.

Another gem from OBB: How to Tell your family that Wedding will be adults-only or better titled, "How to Write a Long Winded email to your Guests Instead of Addressing an Invitation Properly and Dealing with any Issues like an Adult".

The Real Weddings are just about the only thing I enjoy on that site anymore. Everything else is just ugh....

With this addendum: "At Offbeat Bride, we're keenly aware that wedding crowdfunding is a contentious topic, and won't feel like a fit for many (or even most) readers. Our goal is to share wedding options that have worked for some folks, in the hopes that other folks can benefit from them — even if that benefit is just a sense of clarity about what won't work for them. Here's to variety!"


I suppose like @southernbelle0915 said, what matters is if something has "worked" for an offbeat couple, not if it was rude as hell or ridiculously entitled.

manillabar

mklam said:

Ugh. I kept reading hoping that there would be a 'Just Kidding' or some saving grace at the end. Nope.

Seriously... when she said "we made a poem" I honestly thought (or hoped, I guess?) that it was all a huge joke... because after that long-winded plea for money was an even longer poem asking for money -_-  (does no one realize that making it rhyme only makes it more disgusting?) Whatever happened to simply throwing a wedding within your budget?  Or, you know, waiting until you can afford what you want instead of making your guests pay for the party you want.

lavenderfields13

This makes me ragey. I might unfollow OBB on FB because I'm sick of seeing their awful articles on my newsfeed. Like others have said, being offbeat does not give you the OK to be a rude asshole.

hellohkb

lavenderfields13 said:

This makes me ragey. I might unfollow OBB on FB because I'm sick of seeing their awful articles on my newsfeed. Like others have said, being offbeat does not give you the OK to be a rude asshole.

I plan on unfollowing. Even worse, a FB friend "Liked" their post! Gross

AuroraRose41

This is terrible. FI and I toyed with a lot of "offbeat" ideas, including considering a summer camp wedding. We are incorporating some nerdy elements, and I was so excited when I first heard about OBB to hopefully get some ideas. But when I realized almost every post advocates for not treating guests properly, I noped out of there and decided to hang out on TK instead. 

kmmssg

sylveonplath said:

show previous quotes

Casadena said:

This makes my heart happy...

Dean 7 mins ago

This is disgusting and so full of etiquette blunders it makes me sick. Talk about material and unnecessary gift-buying…. Gifts are never required at a wedding. Period. Planning something so far outside your means as "gift" for your guests (which is what the reception is; a thank you to all your guests for witnessing your ceremony) is about as materialistic as it gets.

Congrats on the marriage though.

Interesting... I left a similar comment that disappeared after "awaiting moderation" that I assumed was deleted for being too critical. I don't see this one though, so maybe my I need to clear my cache? Regardless, I'm glad someone got to point out the purpose of a reception and why it's so rude to ask your guests to pay for it.

ETA: "congrats on the marriage though" is my favorite snarky sign off to these kind of posts, on TK or anywhere else.

I do believe they took down Dean's comment too.  I hate that site.

jacques27

I clicked on the link when OP first posted it, and then closed it and didn't comment because in my early morning stupor I was misguidedly optimistic it was a hoax because I refuse to live in a world where people are this stupid, entitled, and rude.

It makes me all kinds of ragey that their explanation for getting engaged was for the SOLE PURPOSE of having this party that they can't afford.  It wasn't even a joke.  I kept waiting for the punchline thinking they were not just admitting to that, but they were.

Then, it made me ragey all over again when I saw on the bottom of what I assume was their response card, a place for people to write their bank routing and account numbers?  Yeah, let me just supply you with that to use at your whim and then let you lose it or not dispose of it properly.  That part still gives me hope that this is a prank, because again I refuse to believe that people that stupid, entitled, and rude exist.

allispain

jacques27 said:

I clicked on the link when OP first posted it, and then closed it and didn't comment because in my early morning stupor I was misguidedly optimistic it was a hoax because I refuse to live in a world where people are this stupid, entitled, and rude.

It makes me all kinds of ragey that their explanation for getting engaged was for the SOLE PURPOSE of having this party that they can't afford.  It wasn't even a joke.  I kept waiting for the punchline thinking they were not just admitting to that, but they were.

Then, it made me ragey all over again when I saw on the bottom of what I assume was their response card, a place for people to write their bank routing and account numbers?  Yeah, let me just supply you with that to use at your whim and then let you lose it or not dispose of it properly.  That part still gives me hope that this is a prank, because again I refuse to believe that people that stupid, entitled, and rude exist.

I saw that too and thought: Seriously? Who would be stupid enough to give that information to someone?

rcher912

The bank account thing is what horrified me more than anything. WHO PUTS THAT ON AN INVITE? That you're sending to dozens, maybe hundreds of people?!

I would seriously call up that couple if I got an invite like that and give them an earful about identity safety and crap. That's so concerning to me.

[Deleted User]

rcher912 said:

The bank account thing is what horrified me more than anything. WHO PUTS THAT ON AN INVITE? That you're sending to dozens, maybe hundreds of people?!

I would seriously call up that couple if I got an invite like that and give them an earful about identity safety and crap. That's so concerning to me.

To be fair, it looks like that's actually THEIR transfer info that was blurred out for posting on the web (you can tell if you look closely.) At least they're only being idiotic with their own info.

[Deleted User]

[Deleted User]