Wedding Recap and Withdrawal

A little bit of venting...(somewhat long)

My husband and my wine country vineyard wedding has come and gone and I have a lot of wonderful memories.  ALL my vendors were fantastic, I felt so much love from so many local and out of town family and friends, and my husband and I shared many special moments.

There were some kinks (my dress got a rip in it right before the ceremony, there were way too many speeches since we had an open mic, we had mid ninety degree weather, people left earlier then expected, etc), but none of that bothers me since it is so trivial in the grand scheme of things.  However, what has stuck with me and continues to bother me when I look back at the wedding is the actions of two out of my six bridesmaids.  The other four bridesmaids were so sweet and comforting and I had such an amazing time with them.

Before the day of the wedding, these two girls missed the bridal shower (I didn't mind), the bachelorette party (I was sad but understood due to finances though they really shouldn't have waited until the last second to let my sister know since she ended up losing a deposit when she had to find a smaller place to stay), they missed the rehearsal, and they missed the rehearsal dinner.  All of that didn't really phase me very much because everyone has their own lives and schedules and the wedding day was what was important to me because aside from it being a special day for my husband and me, that's also the day I wanted to share with my closest girlfriends before walking down the aisle.

But on the day of the wedding, these two showed up two hours after everyone else which pushed back the hairstylists schedule, they got their hair done as soon as they showed up, but then LEFT again so one of them could quickly check into their hotel (which was only 5 minutes away).  They finally came back about 1.5 hours later with only a few minutes before needing to be ready for pictures and they put on their dress and make-up when they got back. This really bummed me out since I brought mimosas, arranged for lunch, and I was paying for their hair to get done (though it was NOT required if they preferred to do their own), and I just thought it would be a morning of girly fun for everyone.  I had a blast with the other girls, but I thought these two would join in instead of creating additional stress and wondering if they were going to push back everyone's schedule not once, but TWICE on that day. 

Then, I found out at the end of the night when I went back up to get my things from the bridal suite, that these two girls spent a good amount of time in the bridal suite during the wedding and had invited many of our friends (at least ten counted in all the pictures that have been posted on facebook) to come join them to drink hard alcohol that one of the girls snuck in and put in the fridge of the bridal suite (we had an open bar with beer, wine, and champagne all night but we needed an extra license and more money for hard alcohol so we decided against this).  The group left the room a mess for me to clean AND left the empty vodka bottles for me to dispose of at the end of the night so I didn't get in trouble for bringing it into a place that didn't allow it.  Also, one guy who was taking shots up there ended up puking all over the patio in front of ALL my family which left my caterer (who cleaned it up) and the coordinator who operates the venue very upset and cornered me to make sure he was cut off and sent home.  Granted, my bridesmaids can't really control if someone drinks too much and that could certainly be accomplished with what my husband and I provided, but it bothers me that these girls were providing shots for numerous people upstairs in the bridal suite without asking or telling me.  

There are a lot of beautiful moments that certainly overtake these other issues, but I just had to vent about the one part that still dissapoints me.  Maybe I'm over reacting, but I currently do not feel the same positive emotion for these two girls as I do about the wedding itself. 

Re: A little bit of venting...(somewhat long)

  • Why did they have access to the bridal suite? 
  • The bridesmaids?  Their change of clothing and other personal belongings were up there.
  • Wow no you are not over reaction. In my opinion you are under reaction. I think you should let them know that what they did was inexcusable. They went out of there way to cause problems for you and your new husband. I think that in the least you should get an apology from both of them.

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • Clearly they are not friends of yours because they took advantage of you.  That's not what friends do.  If I were you, I'd have nothing else to do with them, and I'd unfriend them on FB.  And I'd find out who these 10 "friends" were who snuck up there to party in the bridal suite, and cut them too.  Including the patio puker for sure.
  • Holy cow, what a nightmare. I'm having my bridal party get ready in a separate room in the hotel and the location of the bridal suite is going to be kept top secret since my family has a bit of a 'tradition' to put rice everywhere in the bride and groom's room.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • Gosh, that's horrible. I'm so sorry that it happened. I agree to PP, you are not over reacting but very much under so props to you. I know a lot of people would've gone beyond zilla with this stuff. Frankly, I was already annoyed when I saw that they last minute cancelled on the b-party. If I was a realy friend to you, I would be so honored to be at all these events and be apart of it. 

    I think it's a stupid etiquette that all the bridesmaid needs to do is show up and wear a dress. Maybe that's all a BM needs to do, but a friends needs to /will do so much more than just show up and wear a dress. I'm so sorry your BM are such unsupportive and selfish friends. I'm so glad that your take away from this whole event is at least postive. Good for you!
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • They don't sound like good friends.  I would have never allowed them access to the bridal suite.  They could get their own room to get ready!  I would cut the ties to that friendship after the major BS they pulled.
  • I am so sorry to hear about this.  I don't think you are overreacting.  I agree with sharebear005, you are UNDERreacting, but I find that impressive 'cause it shows real maturity!  I would completely cut these women out of my life.  They showed repeatedly that your wedding had no importance in their lives, and I can't imagine your married life would matter any more to them.

    Again, I am incredibly sorry you had to put up with this.  I think you have reacted with more graciousness than I could imagine.  And I am so so happy that you haven't let this ruin your wedding for you.   
  • In Response to <a href="">Re: A little bit of venting...(somewhat long)</a>:
    [QUOTE]Oh wow. If I had walked into my suite after my wedding, to spend quality time with my new husband, and had to clean up a drunken party mess...I would have FLIPPED. What jerks.
    Posted by versdirtyhippy[/QUOTE]

    Um, YUP! That's exactly what I was thinking. That was pretty much the last thing you should have been dealing with on your wedding day.

    I think either I'm confused or PPs are confused. You're talking about the room where you got dressed and drank champagne with the BMs before the ceremony, right? <em>Not</em> your actual hotel room. <em>That's</em> why the BMs had access.

    Although, most venues lock the bridal suite once the ceremony has begun to ensure nothing gets stolen. For my friend's wedding, we had to bring with us everything we would want until the end of the reception--lip gloss, camera, etc. I am surprised that no one at your venue stopped the BMs from sneaking randoms into the suite, even if they allowed the BMs and bride access. I'm sure what your BMs did is uncommon, but if I were you, I would still mention to someone at your venue that they should be careful who they allow access to the bridal suite, because things could end up stolen, vandalized, or worse.

    No matter what, you are not wrong in being disappointed in their atrocious behavior. You are handling this with a surprising amount of maturity. If I were you, I don't think I'd be rushing to spend time with these girls any time soon. It would cause a major rift in the friendship until/unless they offered a heartfelt apology.
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic Follow Me on Pinterest
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards