I want to see my engament pics :( *update in comments

JaniV123

So we took our love story pics on Dic 23. Now our photographer has always been prompt to respond to emails, and awesome in every aspect. Well I haven't heard a peep from him since the engagement shoot. Now there was no timeline stipulated for the love story pics but still its been a while now. 

Well about 2.5 weeks ago I sent him an email and no response. I re-sent it the day before yesterday just in case he maybe had missed it etc. 

IDK if and when I should worry. I know for a fact that he was having a very delicate and rough family situation back when we did the shooting. Let me elaborate. 

*Feel free to skip the story*

He and his wife had been TTC for a while and when they finally got PG she miscarried like half way through the pregnancy. A few months later they got PG again with twins. At about 5 months she went into pre-term labor and was hospitalized till her due date around March. Apparently it was a very high risk pregnancy and she was having several complications. 

Now since the wedding is in June I am not *TOO* worried. Since this is unusual for him I am thinking something horrible happened and they are going/getting through a family crisis and I don't want to be pushy but I am also getting a bit scared about the lack of communication. His FB page hasn't been updated since November 28. 

IDK what to do, if wait it out, worry, stress, etc. Per the contract if he is unable to do the wedding he is compromised to send a colleague of equal or higher caliber to cover our wedding. So what should I do?

Fran1985

As in his wife's high risk pregnancy is due this month? I would just chill honestly. 1) there is no deadline for the engagement pictures so for all you know you could be getting those in June, and 2) you already have a backup plan in case he wouldn't be able to do your wedding in June. I would honestly just chill until maybe mid or late April depending on what else you hear about his family situation. 

missdelilah

I know it's frustrating, but I would to relax a little on this one.  It's not as though he's being unreliable on purpose, and he's had the courtesy to explain his family situation to you.  

I almost had my photographer pull out at the last minute, and her contract had the same clause in it.  Luckily she was able to make it, but it was really tough as her dad had been sick.   

Eventually you will get your E photos, and someone will show up at your wedding with a camera.  I'm on tenterhooks about my photos, so I understand how you feel, but unfortunately I can't think of anything you can do to change the situation.  Hopefully he'll keep you updated on what's happening with his wife and babies, and that will give you some idea about what you should do going forwards.

JaniV123

thanks! yeah I agree hence why I am not too worried just a little sad. I truly only wanted the STD pics so I could send them with the STD email in early Feb (which we had talked about with him) but I just sent it without it since I couldn't reach him by mid-late Feb. 

Thanks for reading!

ETA: ummm.... I just went to his FB again and I saw 2 worrying posts.... one is from  Feb 15, a couple whose wedding was 5 months ago and they havent even seen a preview of their pictures. The other from Feb 3 about a woman claiming that its been a YEAR and she has only seen 4 pictures... 

I want to cry right now 

sophhabobopha

Wishing you good vibes!

novella1186

JaniV123 said:

thanks! yeah I agree hence why I am not too worried just a little sad. I truly only wanted the STD pics so I could send them with the STD email in early Feb (which we had talked about with him) but I just sent it without it since I couldn't reach him by mid-late Feb. 

Thanks for reading!

ETA: ummm.... I just went to his FB again and I saw 2 worrying posts.... one is from  Feb 15, a couple whose wedding was 5 months ago and they havent even seen a preview of their pictures. The other from Feb 3 about a woman claiming that its been a YEAR and she has only seen 4 pictures... 

I want to cry right now 

If you really have 0 faith in him, I would break the contract, eat the deposit, and hire a new photographer. I totally understand-- from his side-- why he would be MIA. That is A LOT for a person to go through, and no offense to you whatsoever but the health of his wife and baby would definitely trump someone else's wedding photos.

If you're getting lots of red flags and you feel awful, it maybe be worth it to eat the deposit just for the peace of mind.

I had to do this. My sister suckered me into hiring her best friend to do my wedding photos, even though I had some serious concerns because of past experiences with this lady. My sister and I had our infamous giant blow-up and then her friend stopped communicating with me. I thought "Ok, I now have some serious concerns and plenty of reasons to think she will fail to perform. And the best I could legally do is get my money back, but nothing will ever get my photos back."

I fired her in the kindest way possible, and was very nice about it, wished her the best, lost my $1,000 deposit. She was a bitch to me about it (no surprise there). I hired the photographer FI and I had wanted from the first place. No regrets.

If you decide to keep this guy, you're just gonna have to stick it out and see what happens since he does have some really serious things happening in his life right now.

JaniV123

@novella1186

thank you for your input. and I agree which is why I don't want to push. I have faith in him because we bonded with him and he was always very professional. And I still trust the contract will be honored. I am just getting anxious at the lack of communication. I don't care for the photos even if I an dying to see them, I just want to know everything is on board. 

I would be completely fine if he sent a msg to his clients or at least to me saying  "I received your message, I have been dedicating some time to personal situations, but I will get back to you when I return to work" I would understand 1000%. Such a delicate situation is what kept me from messaging him sooner, because I respect and understand that. 

Thank you for your perspective because it makes me feel better. 

climbingsingle

If he's got clients complaining on his page about not receiving their pictures - one after a year - that is a huge red flag. If it were me, I'd break the contract and hire a new photographer.

banana468

climbingwife said:

If he's got clients complaining on his page about not receiving their pictures - one after a year - that is a huge red flag. If it were me, I'd break the contract and hire a new photographer.

This. Plenty of people have personal issues but I refuse to believe that all is well when a self employed person can't get back to clients.

At this point, if you didn't feel a bond with him, would you still feel so confident in his work?

JaniV123

@banana468

I tried looking in his page for any other red flags and those are the only two people complaining. Every other comment is positive and reinforcing. We love his work, and we searched for a long time. We even went over budget on photography just to have him. I tried to look over the complainants FB pages to see if it was legit and whatnot and they are private so I could snoop too much. 

I honestly don't know what we could do 3 months out, and we can't really afford to loose the deposit. I am thinking waiting another week or two and calling him by phone to see if I can reach him. Aside from that I am at a crossroads

missdelilah

That's really tough.  I'd try to get in touch with him by phone sooner, rather than later.  The contract did stipulate that he'd send you a replacement photographer, so why not ask him if that is likely or even a possibility.  That way you'd still pay the original amount, wouldn't you?

JaniV123

missdelilah said:

That's really tough.  I'd try to get in touch with him by phone sooner, rather than later.  The contract did stipulate that he'd send you a replacement photographer, so why not ask him if that is likely or even a possibility.  That way you'd still pay the original amount, wouldn't you?

Yeah the same amount would be paid if he sends a replacement because its his "fault" not ours. I re read the contract and there isn't a timeline clause so there really isn't a set time to abide to for receiving the images (so the ladies who commented can't enforce a timeline if its not in the contract, am I right?). I would be kinda sad if I had to wait a year but technically I will be so busy with school I probably won't have much time to think about it. I talked to Fi and he said to call and text him next week or the next just to see if we reach him and like get some security that we will get our services. 

I feel a little calmer in a wat having talked it over with FI and re-reading the contract and such. I still want to see my pictures but I feel calmer. Also all the comments and support from TK are very helpful. 

climbingsingle

Personally I wouldn't sign a contract like that. He's allowed to give you your pictures whenever, with no timeline at all? What if that means 5 years? 

simcal18

Find a new photographer.  Seriously.  Your engagement pictures are no big deal in the grand scheme of things.  But you get one shot--one--to get your wedding photos taken.  And if the photographer that you are working with loses them, flakes out of the business, or otherwise screws the pooch, you can never get them back.  I see heartbreaking posts here all the time from brides who got screwed over by their photographers.  You do not want to be one of those brides.

If you are worried about losing your deposit, contact the photographer again to see if you can get it back or if he can set up a replacement photographer for you now.  But honestly, even if you don't hear back from him or he refuses, I'd eat the money and find a new vendor.  Rejigger your budget to make it happen.  It doesn't matter if "only" two other brides wrote complaints you found online--you have no idea how many other brides just like you are out there who are waiting and wondering.  I'm sorry about your engagement pictures, but you're lucky in that you can still fix this issue for your wedding. 

badbnagdway

Agree with others, find a new photog, ASAP. Eat the deposit if you have to. Try to get him to give you the engagement pics but don't hold your breath. We have all seen too many brides on here not get their photos. (Honestly any brides not getting their wedding photos is too many to me). Things happen, but you already know this guy has been unreliable with at least some of his clients. Our photog promised our engagement pics in two weeks, and sure enough, two weeks later we had them.

I imagine that you are going to have some trouble finding available photogs for a June wedding this late in the game, especially if it's on a Saturday, so I would start looking right away. 

thisismynickname2

I'm one of the people who had issues with my photographer. There were some communication red flags between the engagement session and the wedding.

Get a new photographer if you don't reach them shortly.

I believe in catching bees with honey. Acknowledge that you know they're going through a rough time, but given the delays and given the delays you've seen with other clients, you are concerned with his ability to keep the contract- which is totally understandable given the circumstances. You'll be happy if he can substitute someone of equal caliber.  Give him till x date to respond until you break the contract and find someone else on your own, and that you'll expect your deposit back less fair amount for his time on the engagement pictures if he doesn't respond. 

Be super nice, supportive, and polite, yet firm. 

Lurkers-- never sign a contract without a timeline for delivery of all sessions.  (Even though we did, and the photog broke the contract, now we can sue for breach of contract at least.)

teddygirl9

I just wanted to say, just because you don't see any red flags on his FB page doesn't mean anything - you can delete posts of your FB page if they are unflattering.

 

I'd get another photographer lined up as a just in case now, keep trying to contact him but set a cut off date. Ie, if I dont hear from in a week I will cancel.

STARMOON44

If you want photos from your wedding day get a new photographer. "Hey photog, since you haven't given me my engagement photos and refuse to answer my calls or emails, I'm hiring someone else ". Done.

badbnagdway

teddygirl9 said:

I just wanted to say, just because you don't see any red flags on his FB page doesn't mean anything - you can delete posts of your FB page if they are unflattering.

 

I'd get another photographer lined up as a just in case now, keep trying to contact him but set a cut off date. Ie, if I dont hear from in a week I will cancel.

She is seeing red flags on the FB page with others stating they haven't gotten their pics after extended periods of time, so I'm not understanding the above. But yes, I expect vendors do this all the time -- delete comments. The fact that there are any is significant to me because I assume most people are like me -- publicly complaining on FB would be not the first move I would make. It would be the move I make when other things had not worked and I was fed up enough to want others to know the vendor does not live up to their contract. 

teddygirl9

badbnagdway said:

teddygirl9 said:

I just wanted to say, just because you don't see any red flags on his FB page doesn't mean anything - you can delete posts of your FB page if they are unflattering.

 

I'd get another photographer lined up as a just in case now, keep trying to contact him but set a cut off date. Ie, if I dont hear from in a week I will cancel.

She is seeing red flags on the FB page with others stating they haven't gotten their pics after extended periods of time, so I'm not understanding the above. But yes, I expect vendors do this all the time -- delete comments. The fact that there are any is significant to me because I assume most people are like me -- publicly complaining on FB would be not the first move I would make. It would be the move I make when other things had not worked and I was fed up enough to want others to know the vendor does not live up to their contract. 

She said she didnt see any OTHER red flags, and was still considering staying with him. I was just saying that there are 2 from feb, he may have been deleting others previously. Ie - there could be 500 complaints that were posted on the page, but all disapeared.

princessleia22

Definitely call him, even to just check in.  I'd tell him that you are concerned about not having your e-photos yet and that you have seen some online posts about people not getting wedding photos in a timely manner.  If he is able to communicate with you and reassure you that he will have everything in order for your wedding, great.  But, if you aren't able to reach him or gives you any reason to doubt that he can handle your wedding, find a new photographer immediately. 

JaniV123

You are all right, and I saw another post from one of the brides that had commented back in Feb and she is pissed. We honestly dont know what to do or where to start looking for a new photog. 

I honestly might cry for hours. I have slept 2 hours and had a killer test today, so I am super sensitive. 

so far it seems it is 4 brides who are trying to find him and there is likely more. I am honestly starting to think his wife freaking died or something. It seems like he vanished from the face of the earth. I get that it might be a rough time but leaving your clients hanging is crazy, even worse without even a notification or a post on his fb page or anything. 

I am trying to look at possible replacements but everything is way over what we would have available. We got a really good package deal from him and we are paying 1300 for a 1800 package. we gave a $250 deposit and we paid him half of the remainder at the engagement shoot. We would still need to find him to get that money back and have at least 1k for a new photog. 

I talked to FI and he suggested we try ourselves and contact him, if we do not succeed, then we tought of calling some of the photog friends he mentioned would be the one he could use as replacements and see if they know anything or can work something out. 

Apart from that IDK what to do. I was finally happy we had settled everything else for the wedding. And now at the 3 month mark this.... I honestly feel super overwhelmed especially with the awfully rough remainder of the semester I have. On top of everything else, dealing with this. 

I'd say I want a drink but that would just catalyze my desire to cry.

novella1186

JaniV123 said:

You are all right, and I saw another post from one of the brides that had commented back in Feb and she is pissed. We honestly dont know what to do or where to start looking for a new photog. 

I honestly might cry for hours. I have slept 2 hours and had a killer test today, so I am super sensitive. 

so far it seems it is 4 brides who are trying to find him and there is likely more. I am honestly starting to think his wife freaking died or something. It seems like he vanished from the face of the earth. I get that it might be a rough time but leaving your clients hanging is crazy, even worse without even a notification or a post on his fb page or anything. 

I am trying to look at possible replacements but everything is way over what we would have available. We got a really good package deal from him and we are paying 1300 for a 1800 package. we gave a $250 deposit and we paid him half of the remainder at the engagement shoot. We would still need to find him to get that money back and have at least 1k for a new photog. 

I talked to FI and he suggested we try ourselves and contact him, if we do not succeed, then we tought of calling some of the photog friends he mentioned would be the one he could use as replacements and see if they know anything or can work something out. 

Apart from that IDK what to do. I was finally happy we had settled everything else for the wedding. And now at the 3 month mark this.... I honestly feel super overwhelmed especially with the awfully rough remainder of the semester I have. On top of everything else, dealing with this. 

I'd say I want a drink but that would just catalyze my desire to cry.

I know this is a really sucky situation, but consider yourself lucky. You could be one of those brides who has never seen your wedding photos and maybe never will, more than a year later. Or he could have bailed on you like the day before your wedding or something. You have three months to figure this out. It will be ok! Deep breath. You got this. 

blabla89

novella1186 said:

JaniV123 said:

You are all right, and I saw another post from one of the brides that had commented back in Feb and she is pissed. We honestly dont know what to do or where to start looking for a new photog. 

I honestly might cry for hours. I have slept 2 hours and had a killer test today, so I am super sensitive. 

so far it seems it is 4 brides who are trying to find him and there is likely more. I am honestly starting to think his wife freaking died or something. It seems like he vanished from the face of the earth. I get that it might be a rough time but leaving your clients hanging is crazy, even worse without even a notification or a post on his fb page or anything. 

I am trying to look at possible replacements but everything is way over what we would have available. We got a really good package deal from him and we are paying 1300 for a 1800 package. we gave a $250 deposit and we paid him half of the remainder at the engagement shoot. We would still need to find him to get that money back and have at least 1k for a new photog. 

I talked to FI and he suggested we try ourselves and contact him, if we do not succeed, then we tought of calling some of the photog friends he mentioned would be the one he could use as replacements and see if they know anything or can work something out. 

Apart from that IDK what to do. I was finally happy we had settled everything else for the wedding. And now at the 3 month mark this.... I honestly feel super overwhelmed especially with the awfully rough remainder of the semester I have. On top of everything else, dealing with this. 

I'd say I want a drink but that would just catalyze my desire to cry.

I know this is a really sucky situation, but consider yourself lucky. You could be one of those brides who has never seen your wedding photos and maybe never will, more than a year later. Or he could have bailed on you like the day before your wedding or something. You have three months to figure this out. It will be ok! Deep breath. You got this. 

Agree with this. Our photog was late in getting us our engagement photos due to some personal stuff in her life, and they turned out to be very disappointing (although that's not nearly as frustrating as your situation) but it was for the best, since we realized that we did not want to rely on that photog for our wedding photos. We had to eat the deposit and the new photog we hired was more expensive, but to us, it worked out for the best.

If you have faith in the guy's talents and ability to show up on your wedding day, then maybe give it a few more weeks and see if you hear from him. If not, then I think it's reasonable to find a new photog and break your contract. Were your engagement photos priced separately, or were they included "free" with your wedding photo package?  Either way, you could ask him to refund part of your deposit. The worst he could say is no.

JaniV123

@blabla89 it was included in the package after negotiations

kaitlynmichelle

I would be calling and talking to him. If you can't reach him, seriously hire someone else. I might even just recommend hiring another photographer anyway if you have doubts.
Not getting your epics would suck but not getting wedding pictures is a much worse scenario. We ended up not even getting to do our epics and I was bummed. But I always feel so sad seeing brides on here that have no wedding pictures.

You can always ask for some of the deposit back. The worst that happens is he says no. Try to work your budget and cut elsewhere for the wedding to make up for it. Look for ways leading up to the wedding to save more too. Obviously you might already be doing that but cut out things you don't need. Don't eat out, buy alcohol less often, try cheaper brands of grocery items.

Best of luck!