Wedding 911

Stage fright Bride

I am getting married in July and it is coming up so fast. My fiancé and I are having our wedding ceremony outside. We live just outside Chicago, so knowing whether we will have a cool summer or a torturous blistering hot summer is impossible to predict. I am having major anxiety about the wedding ceremony. No, not about whether it is going to rain or not (even though that is a worry of smaller degree), but about standing in the heat with the eyes of about 175 guests on me. I know many of you are thinking not that many guests will attend the ceremony, however our ceremony takes place in the outside area of our reception venue and it's at 6:00 in the evening, so I am expecting most of the guests to attend the ceremony and reception.

I am the kind of person that does not like to be the center of attention. When attention is brought to me in a large group of people I can just feel my face and ears become hot. I want to enjoy all the aspects of being a bride on my wedding day just like I always envisioned, but I'm four months away and the anxiety of being the center of attention is already really getting to me. My worst fear is that I'll be so nervous and become so hot during the ceremony that I pass out. I sort of joke about it to people now, but the truth is I really am fearing that could happen. 

Any other brides out there feeling the same about having all eyes on them on their wedding day? And if so, any advice that worked to calm your nerves?

Thanks in advance!

Re: Stage fright Bride

  • I'm feeling the exact same way. My wedding is in two months, and I'm already breaking out into a cold sweat just thinking of all the eyes being on me. I'm worried about tripping down the four steps I have to walk down to get to the aisle, about tripping over the hem of my dress, about passing out, about messing up my vows...all of it.

    But, here are some things I keep telling myself. The first being, I can't think of a single wedding that I've ever been to where I had nothing but amazing and good feelings for the bride as she walked down the aisle. Feelings of "Oh, she looks so gorgeous." "I'm so happy for her." "What a beautiful ceremony". So hopefully, all of my guests will simply be thinking the same for me, and wishing me nothing but good will in their minds.

    Also, I made sure to get shoes with a VERY moderate (slightly under two inch) heel, so they're super comfortable and easy to walk in. If I had to navigate up the aisle in tall heels, it would be bad news bears.

    Remember to take DEEP breaths. Seriously, focus on just breathing if you need to. I've passed out multiple times before from anxiety and/or heat and I think each time was because I clamped up and started holding my breath. Fainting is due to a lack of oxygen to the brain - so breathe!!

    If you're walking down the aisle with someone (father, mother, sister, brother, uncle, close friend, whomever...the list goes on) I think that helps too. I've already warned my dad that I'm going to basically be clutching onto him for dear life, and that if I fall, I'm taking him down with me! ;)

    Not sure if any of these tips help, but I feel your pain. Wishing us both luck and a lack of anxiety on our big days!
  • In regards to the heat, if it's going to over about 75, you will need to move your wedding to your indoor back-up plan. You should have one of those anyway in case of inclement weather.
  • KSlowKSlow member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    I'm still trying to find those perfect low heel shoes because I can barely find any low heel shoes at all! Thanks for the advice and good luck! It's good to know I'm not the only bride out there not wanting all the eyes on me.
  • I absolutely have anxiety about my ceremony.  I think that it is normal.  There will be a lot of people that show up to the ceremony as it is the most important part of the day.  What I hope will help me ease my nerves is having a first look ceremony with my future husband.  If that is not for you then maybe I would get to the venue early stay in the car/limo etc and watch who goes into the church.  It may ease your nerves to actually see the people before you enter the church.  I would also not wear heels or wear low heels.  I purchased mine from macys and they are Blue by Betsy Johnson.  I am planning on just taking a deep breath before walking down the aisle and trying to enjoy the moment.
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  • I have off and on anxiety issues and I have noticed that they get stronger when I am not doing yoga daily. I don't know why but finding a good flow to end and start my day with just pushes a lot of the anxiety that I have aside and I don't notice it. I will get anxiety even walking into a meeting where  I know I will be stuck in a room with a bunch of people, so I am making sure I do not stop my yoga practice at all up to the wedding!

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  • I can't speak for anyone else or what will happen to you, but I will tell you my experience. I have social anxiety disorders, also turn red when people look at me closely and I have a stutter that becomes pretty bad when I am excited and/or nervous. Lucky me, I also have syncope (I pass out for no reason, but stress and anxiety is a trigger). 

    I was terrified of the wedding. Just thinking about it triggered issues. I had distractions just before the wedding (and it was rescheduled last minute so I didn't have as much time to obsess) but feeling lightheaded walking down the aisle or stuttering through my vows literally kept me awake at night. 

    The day of the wedding, minutes before the ceremony, I stood in the hallway waiting for my dad and a calm came over me. I walked in that room like I owned the place and I was so happy and comfortable. During the ceremony, standing there looking at my husband, I didn't have a care in the world. It was a comfortable and calm feeling that I can't describe. I'm not one to be a big sap, but it was really odd how serene it felt. Like I was waking up from anesthesia while getting a massage in my warm bed on a Sunday morning with that calming spa music. 
    Image result for someecard betting someone half your shit youll love them forever
  • KSlowKSlow member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    Wow thank you for that advice! I'm so glad you were able to overcome all of those things and your anxiety on your wedding day! It's not only comforting, but also inspiring to hear these stories and the ways you other brides are coping with your wedding day fears. Hopefully I'll have that same feeling of calmness on my wedding day. I'm hoping if I just look straight ahead and focus on my fiancé that I won't even be thinking about all the people looking at me, sort of the way you described. I'd certainly love to walk down that aisle like I own the place!
  • My wedding is this coming weekend and the panic of being up in front of everyone hit me a couple of days ago.  But every time I get anxious I try to think about a couple of things:

    1)  Like the person said up above, the people watching all care for me and want nothing but the best for me. 

    2)  Every single time I have gotten stressed throughout the process, my fiance stops me in my tracks and says, "As long as we are married at the end of the day, that is all that matters."  Keeping that in mind has kept me from quite a bit of freaking out.
  • I have some anxiety around that too. Instead of thinking of the mass of people in the room, I think about them individually, like how happy I will be to see my cousins who I haven't seen in a few years, or how happy FI's grandma will be, and how I can't wait to dance with our friends at the reception. Breaking the whole down into individual parts make it easier to turn my anxiety into warm fuzzies. Plus, they will definitely be happy. 

    Also, don't lock your knees when you're standing up, especially if it's warm out. Tell your bridal party the same. That's a recipe for fainting.

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