Did anyone else suffer from PWD

Sarawalls

Did any of the already-married among us get PWD (post wedding depression)?

I got married on 9/25 and I feel like such a schmuck right now.  I feel like I should be happy and overjoyed and releived that I don't have to plan anything anymore, and that my hubbs and I are in love and get to spend the rest of our lives together.

Instead, I feel sad.  I'm obsessing over little stupid things that didn't go right at the wedding (a couple of pics my photographer missed, not dancing except the First and F/D dances [biggest regret], everyone left early and we didn't have time for the dollar dance, there were couple rude guests).  I'm recalling all the good things, too, (my husband and his cool shoes, my dad who survived cancer this year walking me down the isle, my parents dancing, my adorable niece, my amazing wedding party), but it's like they don't make a dent.  My mind goes back to panick, and I should have done this, I should have done that.

I feel like I should just snap out of it.  I'm married and, dammit, I should be happy!  Which makes me feel angry with myself, and starts the whole stupid loop again.

I know this isn't the place for therapy, but I don't feel I can talk to other people about it.  They keep saying what a great time they had and how beautiful it was, and I don't want to burst their bubble.  I want them to be happy and think that I'm exstatic and everything went just perfectly.

So, am I a crazy, self-obsessed, post-bridezilla, or is this more common than people let on?

amandaisengaged

I got married on the same day ! I feel strange about not having to plan anything and in some ways i miss the stress a little.  Just let all of the little things go. Maybe work on a project that will take your mind off it .

Sarawalls

I'm so sorry you were ill!  But it's nice to hear that you have such a positive attitude anyway.  I hope you're feeling better now, and thanks for the advise.  :-)

[Deleted User]

I feel you. But since it is over and done with, you just have to focus on the positive and move on. And it does take awhile to get completely settled and in the married life groove.

And we had a lot of guests that left early as well, but I got over it quickly and just spent the remaining time with my new husband and our friends and family that did stay.

Lenore2010

Coming up on six months since the day, I sometimes miss the planning stuff, but mostly I am relieved we are through it. 

You just got married, it will pass. Just keep busy and you will be fine.

simply.me

I got married on the same day and have been feeling much the same way- so I guess  you're not alone and neither am I! :-)

It's hard after all the planning and $ spent on wedding coordinator (that I am not pleased with because there was not way she was worth the $) to not focus on the the little things that went wrong.  But like you, I have wonderful friends and family who not only took time to travel to be with me, but have continued to tell me that it was a great time- so I am trying to re-orient my brain.

I think its ok to feel this way, but important to focus on all the good things - I think with time those missed details will fade and you'll be left with good memories and a great husband!

srose2329

I also got married on 9/25 and I'm having a really really hard time dealing with it all being over.  Our day was absolutely perfect and I really don't have any regrets, but I'm so sad it's all done even though I too have a fabulous husband that I loves me so much (and he understands how I feel right now).  It was just such a great time and a great experience it makes me sad that it won't happen again and it's not there to look forward too and get excited about.  I am truly at a loss on how to deal with this too!  I need to figure something out quick!

stinkerbell6879

I did. It also really did not help to go to a wedding 2 1/2 months after ours, it got me thinking of all of the things I should have done.

It will pass and you will start to focus on other projects...

Sarawalls

You guys are very sweet, and this all helped a lot.  I needed to hear that I wasn't the only one.  I am now scared, however, to attend my friend's wedding on the 22nd.  LOL

simply.me

Thanks Sarawalls for starting this thread and to those of you who shared.  I do feel  so much better knowing that I'm not the only one!

ginacampbell

To all the new brides-

Don't focus on what could have been,focus on what you have to look forward to, a whole new life and new chapters of that life.

lisa12982

Oh it's so good to see your post!!  I got married on the 18th and things were going back to normal until I went to a friends wedding last night.  I compared which I shouldn't have b/c overally I was very pleased with my wedding but get angry when I think of our DJ and the 12 people that RSVP'd they would come and then just didn't show.  So rude!!
Anyways, I actually posted earlier before I read yours and found myself to feel slightly better.  I literally lay in bed and try to recap even though it is a major blur to me. 
I was not happy with our coordinator either.  I had to look at her or ask her questions every 5 minutes b/c I didn't know what was next or what to do. 
If I had a way to review her, I would give her 1 star!!  That was not the worst of my night though, the overall entertainment wasn't that great and while people danced and as more people drank more people danced, I felt like I had to get the entertainment going b/c the DJ was just some dorky guy with a computer.  I was angry b/c we booked them through a reputable company in the city we got married. 
3 weeks into the marriage, it gets better.  I find the more I immerse myself in home projects and parties (football and tailgating parties) the better I feel.  ONce I went back to work and the hype was over, I really did forget all about it.  Unfortunately going to my friends wedding has sparked me to be overanalytical and depressed about everything again. 
I have had so many people tell it was one of the most beautiful weddings they went to and it does make me feel better, but I hardly had anyone tell me they had so much fun (maybe I'm overanalyzing) but I pinpoint that back on to the DJ.

pinky6306

I'm a little scared this is going to happen to me after I get married November 2011. People are already asking about the wedding everyday, and I feel like I'm already spending a good chuck of my time on wedding related stuff. I'm making sure to plan something non-wedding related to look forward to after the wedding, I am thinking me and my fiance will start training for a marathon to run the following spring after the wedding so I can keep looking forward instead of looking back. I'm also involved with several non-profits so I think I may join their event planning committee so that I can still plan but for a good cause! I'm not sure how that's going to work, but maybe something to try! 

LinaGibson

I am in the same boat! My photographers missed so many important shots during our ceremony and the video was HORRIBLE. You don't see our faces once!!!! I went to a friends wedding 2 weeks later and still felt horrible. It's been four weeks since my wedding.... I don't think i'll get over the missed shots or the video, I'll just have to accept what pics I do have. I'm HAVE to get over this depression though, I've got a life to live! and you do too

KittyMamma

What about pre wedding Depression? No It is not stress. Im calling it depression, cause Ive ben engaged for a little over a month  and all i want to do is have a full out bawl your eyes out breakdown ? we have just about everything planned , but I still want to have a break down . My Fi keeps telling me that everything is going to be fine , but even thought he's convinced , I keep picturing , all of the things that could go worng .  Like family members not getting along , decorations smashed , people who should be there not showing up. things like this . and My fi just doesnot get this. what can i do

pisci1kn

My sister, who was married on Aug. 14th, definitely had PWD.  In fact, she made us dress back up in our wedding gear and her in her wedding dress to get pictures she missed.  My older sister and I were pretty annoyed by it because she still wanted all the attention on her.  I think after 2 years of planning and the actual day going by so fast, she felt a little depressed.  Now she is planning my Bachelorette party (March 26th) so I think that helped pull her out of the funk. 

Its funny because I'm the other side of the spectrum, I can't wait for the planning to be over and for us to go on our honeymoon!  I just want everything to go back to the way it was before, except us being married.  I would have loved to have a destination wedding so I wouldn't have as much to do, but the FI wanted a big party... it will be fun though!

brianabrad

I'm happy to see this post and it's nice to know that you ladies will be here if needed and to know that it is unlikely that you are the only one that feels a certain way.

My wedding isnt until July 2011 but I already expect to feel totally different after the big day! I'm ready for the wedding day to get here but at the same time I love the planning process. I know that no matter how much planning I do something will go wrong . . I just hope that it's something small and something I never hear about.

pianogirl27

That's a great idea to plan something to look forward to a few months after the wedding. I've been so busy planning, I know it will be weird not to be planning and buying wedding stuff once it's over. But after the wedding we're going to have to start shopping and planning for Christmas so that should distract me. A marathon sounds over the top for me, but maybe something smaller a 5K or maybe 10K.

Jkab0922

So glad I found this post! I got married last Saturday and am beyond thrilled to be married. We had a beautiful wedding and everything (seriously.... EVERYTHING) went exactly how I wanted it to. Yet somehow now I feel sad because it feels like it was all this build up and now suddenly it's over and the whole thing was a blur. I don't want to say it was anti-climactic because the wedding was everything I dreamed it would be, but it does suddenly feel like there is something missing. And I also feel angry with myself for feeling this way because a part of me is thrilled that it's over so we can finally have our lives back! It's nice to know I am not the only one who feels torn.

On the bright side, we put our honeymoon off to January so I am trying to keep myself busy looking forward to that!