Just mother-son dance?

futuremrshp

Hi all ---

For reasons I'll spare you all, my father won't be at my wedding.  How many of you just had a Mother-Son dance and moved on from there?  I don't want to scrap it b/c I know he and his Mom would like the dance, but he is worried I'd feel left out.

mrscomposer

We didn't (I danced with my dad the same time J danced with his mom), but there is absolutely nothing wrong with just having the one and not the other.  That's sweet of him be worried about you, but if you're not going to feel left out, there's no reason to scrap it.

southernbelle0915

I can't speak from experience here, but can offer support for your decision to just have a mother-son dance and move on. Your FI just has to trust you that it doesn't bother you. That's all.

emmaaa

Only having a mother-son dance is perfectly fine. My dad didn't come to my wedding either but my brothers asked to dance with me. Had they not, I would have skipped it as well.

huskypuppy14

We had the mother son/ father daughter dance at the same time.

My sister's husband's mom died when he was a teenager, so he danced with his sister instead. (My sister danced with dad).

There are many options, so it's perfectly fine to have just one and not the other. Whatever you do, just don't make the songs too long.

Knottie45547263

We only had a father/daughter dance. DH is estranged from his mother, but he didn't want me to forgo the tradition. I don't think anyone batted an eyelash. 

drunkenwitch

If it doesn't bother you to sit it out, tell him not worry about it. Tell him that you know it is important to him and his mother and you want to support that. Also, reassure him that is very difficult for a bride to feel "left out" at her own wedding

If he continues to fret, perhaps you find a male relative or friend that has supported you that you could dance with.

starbright2013

We didn't have a father/daughter dance but we did a mother/son dance. DH had the same concerns that your FI is vocalizing but I told him that it was about honoring his relationship with his mom and that we should focus on that, rather than focusing on the absence of a relationship with my father. It all worked out just find!

A few of my family members pointed out beforehand that having a mother/son dance would draw attention to the lack of a father/daughter dance - I didn't really care, but if that's something you're concerned about (or if someone close to you is concerned about) the DJ started the dance music immediately after the mother/son dance and everyone jumped right into the festivities. The only people who really noticed the lack of the father/daughter dance were my father's relatives, who knew about it in advance.