Rehearsal Dinner Guests...

CajunBride102817

Who all gets invited to the rehearsal dinner? I know the typical people: bridal party & their SO's, parents, grandparents, etc. I'm not including my bridal party's children, should I? And would it be rude to NOT invite our OOT guests? Just being on a tight budget and trying to work out costs the best way I know how. HELP! 

mrscomposer

I'd add anyone involved in the ceremony, so officiant, musicians, etc, as well as their SOs'.  I don't really have an opinion on BP kids, since only two of the people at our RD had children - one of them didn't bring their kids to the wedding, so that didn't matter, and the other was a baby so he didn't take up much space.

We didn't invite any OOT guests.  It's not rude to not - just make sure that if you do, you invite equally from both sides of the family.  Don't invite OOT aunts and uncles from one side, but neglect to invite local aunts & uncles from the other side.

 

southernbelle0915

Your list is correct. I'd also extend a courtesy invite to your officiant + SO. Im not sure if you're thinking just BMs and GMs when you say "bridal party", but anyone involved in the ceremony should be added. Readers, ushers, etc + SOs.

You don't have to invite kids. If you do that, some people might duck or early or decline all together, but you're not obligated to invite children. You also don't have to invite OOT guests.

flantastic

Are the kids invited to the wedding the next day? That doesn't mean you need to invite them to the RD, but consider this:

My MIL (who was hosting) tried to tell her older two children and their spouses (all of whom were in the WP because they're awesome) that their kids (her grandchildren) were not invited to the RD... because fancy affair and they might RUIN it.

One family had asked the wife's parents to come up for the weekend, so this was okay with them. SIL, however, was nursing her three-month-old baby, and they didn't have babysitters for the weekend. BIL is a pretty good advocate for himself, and made it clear that neither he nor his wife would attend the RD because they need to take care of their two kids, and I ended up telling SIL that she could tell MIL that I offered to sit in the hallway outside the dinner ballroom and babysit our niece. In general, it's rude to push "my kids must be invited" on the host, but only if the host can accept the fact that the parents might need to decline, which MIL wasn't going to do.

So consider how difficult it might be for the WP - some may love the idea of a night out without the kids, and some may really need to bring them in order to be there. I'd ask what they'd prefer.

[Deleted User]

My MOH had 1 son, who was not invited to the wedding.  I allowed her to bring him to the RD just because it was easier on her and her H to have him there.  I'd rather have my friend and her H at the RD than having them both decline because they needed someone to watch their son.  As long as you can accommodate them, I would give your WP the option of having their kids attend the RD.

arrrghmatey

PPs pretty much covered it, but I will touch on the children aspect. Are the kids part of the wedding party (i.e. flower girls, ring bearer)? If so, then you should invite them, especially if their parents are also part of the WP. If the parents decide not to bring the kids to the rehearsal dinner, then that is their decision, but it would be courteous to invite the kids, especially if it is easier for the parents. My nieces/nephew are the flower girls and ring bearer for our wedding and their moms are two of my bridesmaids. Since they are coming from out of town and won't have access to a babysitter, they will certainly be invited to the RD. 

Edit: Punctuation is not my friend.

CajunBride102817

Thank You all of you for your input. The children I am referring to are not in the BP. 2 of my 6 bridesmaids have children who will be 1, 2 and 5 at the time of the wedding. Both have told me that they will arrange for a babysitter if need be. I just wasn't sure if it would be rude to not invite their children since they don't have a role in our wedding. My 2 junior BM's, junior groomsmen, FG & RB are all included in the RD, so is our officiant (FH's Uncle) and his family and our ushers. Again, thank you ladies for all the input.