So this I guess is more of a vent than anything else, but I just don't know what to do. Firstly I feel like an ass, a year ago when my fiance and I talked about what we wanted from our wedding I was the one who opted for a more traditional celebration (in lou of his elopement idea), but now we're half way through planning, nothing seems to be going right, we're way past any kind of a reasonable budget and I just want to scream. ): I've been regretting my choice for something more traditional and now all I wish we could do is fly off to Vegas and get it over with already. I've organized myself to the bone, I've got lists for my lists and it doesnt make a difference I still feel sick and panicky about the planning.
I feel totally out of control, his mothers been terrific, very supportive, but I feel like I have no say in anything, everyone says I do and that if theres something I don't like I just need to speak up, but when I say it's too much all I hear is that I'm over reacting and I need to just relax, it'll all work out (I just want to stab the next person who says that).
I'm DIYing as much as possible to keep expenses down but they still keep piling up. Please someone tell me I'm not crazy. I love my fiance completely, I'm so excited to be married to him, but I'm just not looking forward to the wedding.
On top of everything I'm not really a social person and with a guest list nearing the 200's I want to puke just thinking about standing in front of so many people and then having to talk to them all after.