May 2015 Weddings

At that stage where I'm starting to lose it.

I have really tried to be a low stress bride. We had a long engagement so lots of time to plan the big things, and up until now I've been pretty calm about things. But with a very demanding new job, the wedding getting closer, family wanting to be involved, and a few minor frustrations along the way, I'm starting to feel like I'm coming unraveled. Just looking to vent but ideas are welcome, as I know all of you are probably in the same boat!

My sister K is planning a shower. Yay! But my FMIL has basically bullied her into inviting a ton of people I'm not even close to. The shower is now going to have close to 40 guests and only 10-15 of them are my own friends and family. And FMIL was annoyed that K didn't list FMIL as the host on the invites. Wtf? K is the host. She's paying, planning, and it will be in the common room of our apartment building (we are roommates). K is doing all the work. No, FMIL, you do not get to be called the host. 

FPILs want to host a welcome dinner the night before (not having a rehearsal) because they have a lot of OOT guests. They only started even looking at restaurants within the past couple of weeks, at the same time we were finalizing our invites, then demanded we put an insert for the dinner in our invites. They wanted me and Fi to do the research, then rejected multiple options within their budget. We held out on ordering the invites as long as we could, then ordered without the inserts. When we found a sale and offered to order the inserts separately within about a ten-day span, FPILs didn't select a restaurant in time then, either.  Now they are saying they want to hold off on planning it entirely until closer to the wedding. They can knock themselves out procrastinating if they want, but I'm super annoyed we held out on the invitations that they literally demanded we put inserts in, only to have them totally back off the party at the last minute. 

My invitations are delayed in transit with Fedex and it's making me irrationally annoyed, because we are on a tight timeline thanks to the above problems. 

And it's been around and around with Kleinfeld for the past two weeks. My dress is in but they can't send me a simple written invoice for how much to pay before I have my dress shipped. The Finance Department doesn't have email access, and they are open three days a week until 4:00, blah blah. Nobody in the entire company seems capable of sending me a written statement, and no, I'm not calling with a major credit card payment over the phone with no written receipt or invoice. 

Am I just losing my mind or are these legitimately annoying problems?  I know to just back off with FPILs but I'm still irritated. Ugh. 
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"I'm not a rude bitch.  I'm ten rude bitches in a large coat."

Re: At that stage where I'm starting to lose it.

  • You're not losing your mind! They're all small problems but those kind of small problems that are sooo unnecessary that they just drive you nuts. No advice here except to breathe and have some wine but I hope everything works out!
  • I think it's easy at this point to let the little things pile-up. That is ridiculous about Kleinfeld's, by the way. For how much a wedding dress costs you would expect them to be on top of it. It sucks that your shower is not what you wanted. I would not be comfortable opening gifts from strangers. 

    I don't know about you guys, but I've basically been calm and managed to keep my panic moments to myself for most of the process. It's been nice to peruse these boards and vent my crazy to let it out without the people in my life having to see it. But at a certain point recently one of the things that has started to overwhelm me are other people's expectations of my being overwhelmed. Like, everyone has this perception that I should be panicking and it kind of makes me feel like I'm missing something or not doing something I'm supposed to do. 

    I am feeling super anxious and frustrated today but it is about work stuff more than anything. 
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  • badbnagdway said:I think it's easy at this point to let the little things pile-up. That is ridiculous about Kleinfeld's, by the way. For how much a wedding dress costs you would expect them to be on top of it. It sucks that your shower is not what you wanted. I would not be comfortable opening gifts from strangers. 
    I don't know about you guys, but I've basically been calm and managed to keep my panic moments to myself for most of the process. It's been nice to peruse these boards and vent my crazy to let it out without the people in my life having to see it. But at a certain point recently one of the things that has started to overwhelm me are other people's expectations of my being overwhelmed. Like, everyone has this perception that I should be panicking and it kind of makes me feel like I'm missing something or not doing something I'm supposed to do. 
    I am feeling super anxious and frustrated today but it is about work stuff more than anything. 

    Yeah me too.  I had a couple days where I was just super pissed about the stuff I posted about but in general I'm not "wedding wedding wedding" all the time.  It's making me worried I'm missing something I
    should be worrying about.  Argh.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
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    "I'm not a rude bitch.  I'm ten rude bitches in a large coat."

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