Seven years ago I met someone. We got together but a few weeks later he decided to break up with me. A month later, he told me he wanted us to get back together. It lasted two weeks, then he broke up again, saying maybe he hadn’t thought it through, and that being together was a mistake.
Three months later, he said he wanted to try again. He then spent months where I would barely get a text from him, to “normal” days, with walks, a nice time together, flowers, smiles – with I love yous thrown in, too.
That summer he went abroad for two months for his research; he left with a speech that left me in doubt again about our relationship. When he came back, things were really nice for the first couple of weeks and then, a week after he’d bought me roses and said he loved me and we should start thinking about the future, he broke up with me. I never saw him again.
A few months later, he got back in touch on social media and we started texting and emailing.
Three years ago, three years after the end of our relationship, and with me completely over it, we fell out because I got tired of begging for proper replies to my messages, which he justified by saying that he didn’t want me to have any false hope.
We were briefly in touch 18 months later because I’d been having nightmares about him and stupidly decided to check how he was. He replied to my email in a perfectly nice way, saying he was OK and he was thinking of me, but wasn’t planning for us to reunite.
In my anger at that, I emailed him saying it had been five years and it was shocking that he could think I still had feelings for him after all that time. Things ended there.
I have since found out he got married last year. I have seen the girl in photos and thought how like me she looked. So when I saw her as the bride, it shocked me because perhaps for us it was the wrong timing.
My life has progressed since then, and I am happily working and living in a place I like, and doing things I might not have done had we been together. In fact, I think my identity had been squashed under the need to be more like what he would have wanted. I haven’t been in a relationship for years now. I feel lonely at times, but I have some good friends, lots of interests, and am happy to be by myself.
I think what I resent is that everyone is pairing up but me, and now even he has got married.
I was wondering if therapy would help. I do tend to brood and obsess over things.