Your weekly "Weddit" recap (wedding forum etiquette fails)

peachy13

There is a thread going on right now about a bride who wants to know how she can politely tell her guests that they will be responsible for their bill at the post-wedding lunch. But this isn't really her wedding, guys. It's her "civil ceremony"... they can't afford the "big wedding" now but they're under a lot of "family and school obligations" so need to do the civil ceremony now, for some reason... big church ceremony and wedding hoopla will happen later when they can afford it.

But they want to invite people to the civil ceremony and out to lunch after. Except they can't pay for lunch and want a cute way to inform their guests about it.

The urge to comment is too strong...

JCbride2015

peachy13 said:

There is a thread going on right now about a bride who wants to know how she can politely tell her guests that they will be responsible for their bill at the post-wedding lunch. But this isn't really her wedding, guys. It's her "civil ceremony"... they can't afford the "big wedding" now but they're under a lot of "family and school obligations" so need to do the civil ceremony now, for some reason... big church ceremony and wedding hoopla will happen later when they can afford it.

But they want to invite people to the civil ceremony and out to lunch after. Except they can't pay for lunch and want a cute way to inform their guests about it.

The urge to comment is too strong...

PPD aside... Most courthouses only allow max 5-10 guests, right? If you cannot afford a basic lunch for 10 people, maybe you just shouldn't have guests. But let me guess, she probably bought a new dress for this wedding and is having a bouquet?

polkad0t

She deleted the post.  I only hope that she changed her mind about the whole thing and not that she just got tired of being told she was wrong.  It's probably the latter though.

LadyMillil

JCbride2015 said:

peachy13 said:

There is a thread going on right now about a bride who wants to know how she can politely tell her guests that they will be responsible for their bill at the post-wedding lunch. But this isn't really her wedding, guys. It's her "civil ceremony"... they can't afford the "big wedding" now but they're under a lot of "family and school obligations" so need to do the civil ceremony now, for some reason... big church ceremony and wedding hoopla will happen later when they can afford it.

But they want to invite people to the civil ceremony and out to lunch after. Except they can't pay for lunch and want a cute way to inform their guests about it.

The urge to comment is too strong...

PPD aside... Most courthouses only allow max 5-10 guests, right? If you cannot afford a basic lunch for 10 people, maybe you just shouldn't have guests. But let me guess, she probably bought a new dress for this wedding and is having a bouquet?

SIL got married at the courthouse. She paid extra to use the city council chambers for the ceremony, which could seat about 50 people.

PrettyGirlLost

lnixon8 said:

Would you rather...

be sat at a table next to a vegan while you yourself are eating a dish with meat OR be sat a table who's considers their love of bacon a distinct personality trait?

(I'm a meat eater btw)

Vegan.  I love to fuck with people who are slaves to fad diets and explain to them how biologically unhealthy their fad diet is with real facts and science :-)

PrettyGirlLost

purplepinkcupcake said:

polkad0t said:

Next up: a bride who turned down the family ring her mother offered her, found out the center stone from the ring she was going to use from her fiancé's family was unlikely to hold up, and now feels like she deserves the ring she was originally offered, that has now been offered to her sister.  Fun bits include the notion that her sister can afford another ring, so the bride posting should get the ring from her mother.  I am finding it extremely hard not to comment on this one.

PLEASE comment... I think I have found some of the Knotties on Weddit. Tee hee.

ETA...yeah some of these topics aren't worth commenting on. I retract my comment.

Trolling is fair game on Reddit, right?

This guideline made me lawl:
"7) Region can affect etiquette. Include the region you're from when asking etiquette questions."

*cough cough* Bullshit!*cough cough*

princessgracekelly

lnixon8 said:

Would you rather...

be sat at a table next to a vegan while you yourself are eating a dish with meat OR be sat a table who's considers their love of bacon a distinct personality trait?

(I'm a meat eater btw)

The bacon person. As someone else said, they're boring but harmless. I know people who act the same way about Nutella and Sriracha.

If sat next to a vegan, I would introduce them to someone going gluten-free and someone on a paleo diet and watch the Sanctimony Wars of 2015 begin.

PrettyGirlLost

Do they have downvoting disabled in that subreddit?  I seem to only be able to upvote.

AuroraRose41

PrettyGirlLost said:

Do they have downvoting disabled in that subreddit?  I seem to only be able to upvote.

Yes they do. But you can still click on the person's user history to downvote the comment. That's what I do if someone is being a particular SS and giving horrible advice. But most of the time I roll my eyes and come back here where logic prevails. 

polkad0t

AuroraRose41 said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

Do they have downvoting disabled in that subreddit?  I seem to only be able to upvote.

Yes they do. But you can still click on the person's user history to downvote the comment. That's what I do if someone is being a particular SS and giving horrible advice. But most of the time I roll my eyes and come back here where logic prevails. 

Or you can downvote from your phone.  Which is what I do.

PurplekittenMew

PrettyGirlLost said:

"7) Region can affect etiquette. Include the region you're from when asking etiquette questions."

*cough cough* Bullshit!*cough cough*

I don't know about that being bullshit.  The first time my now-fiance and I went to a wedding together, it was cash bar.  I said something to him about how rude that was, and he had no idea what i was talking about.  He'd never been to a wedding that had an open bar.

So I decided that it must be that everyone he knows is rude.

Time passed, and we got engaged.  We wanted to get married here in Chicago at first, but for shits and giggles, I requested pricing from the four wedding venues in his hometown in Wisconsin.  All four of them told me that "open bar" was not an option.


I was flabbergasted, but if that's where you're from, you wouldn't know any different.

charcoalandblush

Oh. My. God.

Right now there's a woman who's pissed that people wrote in their (uninvited) children on the RSVPs and asks what to do. This is one reply:

My FW and I are having a child-free wedding. Our wedding venue limits us to 50 people total including ourselves, the photographers and the officiant. We have teired invites so 100 or so more people are invited to the dinner/dance, then another 75-100 are invited to just the dance.

We have made it very clear on our wedding website and the invites that the wedding itself is and Adults Only Affair. I made it impossible for anyone RSVP more people than they are allowed on the invite via our e-RSVP page (IT geeks and database wizardry).

Have received some flack over it but when we explain that libations will flow freely, parents deserve a night away from the kids to party like they were child-free 20-somethings again, and honestly do they want to be chasing their kids all over the place or hear the "I'm bored!" whining, it is suprising how many people do a "I never thought of it that way" and then apologize for even bringing it up.

EDIT: This is what I wrote on our wedding website. Feel free to copy and modify to your hearts content.

Introductions and Dinner

The Avalon Downtown will host our wedding reception where our guests will be welcomed to join us in celebrating our first meal as Husband and Wife and then to dance the night away in the Grand Ballroom, located on the second floor.

“Respectfully, An Adults-Only Occasion.”

While K***** and B**** love children, our reception location has a hard limit on the number of guests we are allowed to invite and we have reached that limit with those we have invited already. We literally can not accomodate children because allowing children means we can not invite some of our adult friends and family to attend our reception.

We also believe this should be a time for couples to focus on themselves, their personal relationships and to treat the reception as a date-night...a time to have fun and let loose without any obligations. We all remember how boring weddings were when we were children.

The reception hall will be open to our guests at 4:30 however the reception will start at 5:15 p.m. where adult guests are welcome to come an socialize before dinner is served.

Dinner will be served around 5:45 p.m.. Closer to the event, we will list what food items will be available for you to partake in!

The dancing will tentitively start around 7:30 p.m., though this is not a set time because we do not want you to feel that you need to rush your meal to enjoy the entire night!

Beyond the wedding party and a few select family members, we will not have arranged seating so sit with whom you wish!

A bar will be available if you wish imbue yourself with an adult beverage or three, just remember to bring your purse or wallet. An onsite ATM will be available if you happen to leave your money at home.

peachy13

@charcoalandblush HOOOOOLY MOLY that's bad. But it's so nice she's telling everyone to bring their wallets ahead of time!! [hard sarcasm]

charcoalandblush

peachy13 said:

@charcoalandblush HOOOOOLY MOLY that's bad. But it's so nice she's telling everyone to bring their wallets ahead of time!! [hard sarcasm]

It's been really REALLY hard to not comment on that one...

drunkenwitch

Did I fucking read that correctly? Bitch goes on and on about how rude people are and then tells people to bring their wallets?

LadyMillil

charcoalandblush said:

peachy13 said:

@charcoalandblush HOOOOOLY MOLY that's bad. But it's so nice she's telling everyone to bring their wallets ahead of time!! [hard sarcasm]

It's been really REALLY hard to not comment on that one...

Cash bars are common in my hometown. Every wedding invitation I've received says "Reception at [Time] [Location] Cash bar" 

AuroraRose41

There is one right now about a bride whose grandmother was just diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and only has months to live according to the doctors. She wants her grandmother to see her get married, so they are planning to do a courthouse ceremony, wants to know what she should do after for any family that does attend, and might have a PPD later. 

One of the comments to her: "I have friends who got married very discreetly before their child was born. They went ahead with the wedding as planned and very few knew about it. You could keep it family only and that would solve any hurt feelings down the line." 

*Eyeroll*. I get it, cancer, especially pancreatic cancer, is horrible. But 1) how will your grandmother be able to attend a courthouse ceremony if she is so sick? and 2) Keeping it family only will NOT solve any hurt feelings from friends and extended family members if you lie to them down the line. I know I will be downvoted to hell if I comment that though. 

polkad0t

From the other 'weddit':

http://www.reddit.com/r/wedding/comments/307mpa/i_cant_find_the_shoes_anywhere/

Her theme has me eyerolling so hard I think I might explode.  I bet you she is such a pain to deal with IRL.

princessgracekelly

polkad0t said:

From the other 'weddit':

http://www.reddit.com/r/wedding/comments/307mpa/i_cant_find_the_shoes_anywhere/

Her theme has me eyerolling so hard I think I might explode.  I bet you she is such a pain to deal with IRL.

What, you don't immediately think of "woods" and twigs when you look at Burberry clothes?

I find people who are obsessed with luxury brands as a "quirky personality trait" are generally insufferable IRL, yes.

PurplekittenMew

polkad0t said:

From the other 'weddit':

http://www.reddit.com/r/wedding/comments/307mpa/i_cant_find_the_shoes_anywhere/

Her theme has me eyerolling so hard I think I might explode.  I bet you she is such a pain to deal with IRL.

What does that mean?!  Does that even mean a thing?

peachy13

polkad0t said:

From the other 'weddit':

http://www.reddit.com/r/wedding/comments/307mpa/i_cant_find_the_shoes_anywhere/

Her theme has me eyerolling so hard I think I might explode.  I bet you she is such a pain to deal with IRL.

"So do you have any theme or colors for your wedding?"

"Yeah I think I'm just going to go with Burberry meets paperboy out in the woods... I don't care if anyone says it's overdone, this was the vision I've had for a long time."

anjemon

princessgracekelly said:

polkad0t said:

From the other 'weddit':

http://www.reddit.com/r/wedding/comments/307mpa/i_cant_find_the_shoes_anywhere/

Her theme has me eyerolling so hard I think I might explode.  I bet you she is such a pain to deal with IRL.

What, you don't immediately think of "woods" and twigs when you look at Burberry clothes?

I find people who are obsessed with luxury brands as a "quirky personality trait" are generally insufferable IRL, yes.

I also love that she's combining high priced London fashion with the lovely child labor practices of the mid-19th (ish) century. Those kids who could barely afford food would love to wear those adorable coats. And they totally smelled like the perfume.

redoryx

I'm just gonna leave this here

[Deleted User]

redoryx said:

I'm just gonna leave this here

Fuck.  I work right next door to the Burberry store on Michigan avenue in Chicago.  The outside of their building looks like that damn hat.  Stupid ugly-ass building.

AuroraRose41

My eye is twitching: 

http://www.reddit.com/r/weddingplanning/comments/30dnab/rave_found_a_way_to_fill_empty_hours_between/

I mean, technically she is properly hosting, but there is no reason to have 3+ hour "movie hour" followed by your "cocktail hour" before your reception, especially since you just didn't feel like moving the cocktail hour up earlier. 9 hours is way too long for a wedding. 

ETF: formatting....that won't fix itself. I don't know how to change this. 

polkad0t

AuroraRose41 said:

My eye is twitching: 

http://www.reddit.com/r/weddingplanning/comments/30dnab/rave_found_a_way_to_fill_empty_hours_between/

I mean, technically she is properly hosting, but there is no reason to have 3+ hour "movie hour" followed by your "cocktail hour" before your reception, especially since you just didn't feel like moving the cocktail hour up earlier. 9 hours is way too long for a wedding. 

ETF: formatting....that won't fix itself. I don't know how to change this. 

I would literally fall asleep at some point either during or after the movie. 

PrettyGirlLost

PurplekittenMew said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

"7) Region can affect etiquette. Include the region you're from when asking etiquette questions."

*cough cough* Bullshit!*cough cough*

I don't know about that being bullshit.  The first time my now-fiance and I went to a wedding together, it was cash bar.  I said something to him about how rude that was, and he had no idea what i was talking about.  He'd never been to a wedding that had an open bar.

So I decided that it must be that everyone he knows is rude.

Time passed, and we got engaged.  We wanted to get married here in Chicago at first, but for shits and giggles, I requested pricing from the four wedding venues in his hometown in Wisconsin.  All four of them told me that "open bar" was not an option.


I was flabbergasted, but if that's where you're from, you wouldn't know any different.

Just because wedding reception venues didn't offer you an open bar option, doesn't mean cash bars aren't rude. They are still rude.

PurplekittenMew

PrettyGirlLost said:

PurplekittenMew said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

"7) Region can affect etiquette. Include the region you're from when asking etiquette questions."

*cough cough* Bullshit!*cough cough*

I don't know about that being bullshit.  The first time my now-fiance and I went to a wedding together, it was cash bar.  I said something to him about how rude that was, and he had no idea what i was talking about.  He'd never been to a wedding that had an open bar.

So I decided that it must be that everyone he knows is rude.

Time passed, and we got engaged.  We wanted to get married here in Chicago at first, but for shits and giggles, I requested pricing from the four wedding venues in his hometown in Wisconsin.  All four of them told me that "open bar" was not an option.


I was flabbergasted, but if that's where you're from, you wouldn't know any different.

Just because wedding reception venues didn't offer you an open bar option, doesn't mean cash bars aren't rude. They are still rude.

How is it rude if it's the only way you can have alcohol at your wedding and nobody in your town has been to a wedding that was any different?

chibiyui

PurplekittenMew said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

PurplekittenMew said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

"7) Region can affect etiquette. Include the region you're from when asking etiquette questions."

*cough cough* Bullshit!*cough cough*

I don't know about that being bullshit.  The first time my now-fiance and I went to a wedding together, it was cash bar.  I said something to him about how rude that was, and he had no idea what i was talking about.  He'd never been to a wedding that had an open bar.

So I decided that it must be that everyone he knows is rude.

Time passed, and we got engaged.  We wanted to get married here in Chicago at first, but for shits and giggles, I requested pricing from the four wedding venues in his hometown in Wisconsin.  All four of them told me that "open bar" was not an option.


I was flabbergasted, but if that's where you're from, you wouldn't know any different.

Just because wedding reception venues didn't offer you an open bar option, doesn't mean cash bars aren't rude. They are still rude.

How is it rude if it's the only way you can have alcohol at your wedding and nobody in your town has been to a wedding that was any different?

Do you really want an answer for this?

redoryx

PurplekittenMew said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

PurplekittenMew said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

"7) Region can affect etiquette. Include the region you're from when asking etiquette questions."

*cough cough* Bullshit!*cough cough*

I don't know about that being bullshit.  The first time my now-fiance and I went to a wedding together, it was cash bar.  I said something to him about how rude that was, and he had no idea what i was talking about.  He'd never been to a wedding that had an open bar.

So I decided that it must be that everyone he knows is rude.

Time passed, and we got engaged.  We wanted to get married here in Chicago at first, but for shits and giggles, I requested pricing from the four wedding venues in his hometown in Wisconsin.  All four of them told me that "open bar" was not an option.


I was flabbergasted, but if that's where you're from, you wouldn't know any different.

Just because wedding reception venues didn't offer you an open bar option, doesn't mean cash bars aren't rude. They are still rude.

How is it rude if it's the only way you can have alcohol at your wedding and nobody in your town has been to a wedding that was any different?

Just because nobody offers "open bar" doesn't mean that "cash bar" is the only other option available.