Weekend Shenanigans and Drunk Stories

loveislouder

Happy Monday!

How was everyone's weekend? We went drinking with FI's oldest and youngest brother. I don't drink, like ever, but I like watching drunk people be funny.

So we dropped off the brothers at the oldest's house, Oldest brother calls in the morning to ask us to go for lunch. We get there and he tells us that he woke up with no memory of the night before. He walked into his bathroom, there's blood all over and there are band aids, duct tape and menstrual pads out. So he checks himself over, he's fine. He doesn't know what happened, but no big deal. He comes out of the bathroom and youngest brother is gone.

So we call youngest brother and he comes out for lunch too. He shows up with a giant goose egg on his head and a visibly broken nose. We're like OMG what happened? Well apparently he tripped over the coffee table in a drunken stupor, and face planted into the floor, which broke his nose, and ended up hitting his head on the TV stand, hence the goose egg. Oldest brother tried to fix it by putting a band aid under his nose to catch the blood. When that didn't work they duct tapped a pad to his face.

It made my life better.  Does anyone have any drunk stories to share?

climbingsingle

It made your life better that your FBIL broke his nose?

loveislouder

climbingwife said:

It made your life better that your FBIL broke his nose?

No no, the way they tried to fix it while drunk.  He's going to the doctor today so I'm sure he'll be fine.

novella1186

Friday night we went over to FSIL's house for FFIL's birthday. I made Moscow mules for FSIL and FMIL, which they were slamming and talking about how delicious they were lol. The rest of us were drinking wine. Lots of wine. Then we all played Cards Against Humanity. 

So yes, I played Cards Against Humanity with my future in-laws. Normally I would be extremely opposed, because of how dirty/raunchy/offensive/awkward that game is. But they're awesome people, and it was fucking hilarious. I was pretty much crying the entire time and my face hurt from laughing. FSIL, at one point, was literally howling. I think it was when I played the card "Pacman, guzzling cum" and FMIL realized it was my card. 

FFIL dominated. I knew he had a morbid/dirty/off-the-wall sense of humor but my god. I learned a lot about these people on Friday, and now I love them even more. 

blabla89

This weekend was pretty good. Yesterday FI and I went for a long walk, got brunch at one of my favorite places, walked back to my apartment, then took the dogs to the park. It was soooo nice out! Then when I was about to get in the shower I noticed that I have a nasty sunburn on my shoulders. Ouch!

sarawifenow

H and I are moving into our first home on Friday! Woohoo! We decided to celebrate our last weekend in our apartment by drinking ALL the wine and watching movies. We literally polished off 6 bottles in one night. I haven't had that bad of a hangover since college.

 

Apparently in my drunkeness I decided to make pancakes at 2 in the morning. I wanted blueberry pancakes but put grapes in the them because we didn't have blueberries. I have no recollection of this.

southernbelle0915

That sounds awful! 

In high school, my friend and I got drunk, bought a bunch of hilarious bumper stickers and put them on the cars of our friends.

littlepep

Drunk story from a few weeks ago: 

FI doesn't ever get super crazy. He usually has a beer or two and calls it a night. Well he has been really stressed at work and one night a few weeks ago, he decided to let loose. He was taking shots of fireball, Irish car bombs, etc. I was like this is going to be bad. 

Well we get home and he's laying on the bed in just boxers and an undershirt half asleep. I'm getting ready for bed and I notice he starts to throw up. But he's still passed out so I wake him up. I'm like dude you are throwing up on yourself! He was like no I'm not, but then he wakes up and realizes he still needs to vomit so he runs to the front porch. He starts throwing up off the porch onto our plants and then comes running back inside naked. He took his clothes off because he threw up on himself. I just hope no one was outside that time of night to see him naked, vomiting off our porch. 

And the whole time he kept saying, you are a good person because if this were you, I would be pissed.

The next morning I found his vomit-stained boxers on the front porch. 

thisismynickname2

Oh God. I'm really sorry but I hate St. Patrick's Day! I live in a neighborhood in Chicago that is known for shenanigans (one of many, anyway). 

It's just a shitshow. Total shitshow. People are drunk at 7am. The number of times I've been knocked into by a stumbling drunk just trying to walk to, say, the grocery store, is unreal.

It doesn't help that my area is full of transplants that would never deign to go to the "south side" because omg like gangs and stuff, but come St. Patty's Day they're sporting T-shirts that say "South Side Irish."  Stop, just stop. And the tutus! And headpieces! Augh!

I was walking to run an errand on Saturday and a girl who was larger than me bumped into me (I point out larger as the impact actually made me stumble). I go, "Hey, watch it." And a guy who was with her calls back, "Oh, sorry Bro...."  I'm not a bro, you drunk fuckface. This was 3pm!

<End Rant > 

amelisha

We spent the weekend skiing in the mountains for FI's birthday and did get fairly drunk both nights on fancy cocktails in celebration, but uneventfully so, except for my encounter with the world's dumbest server. I don't know if she was high or what but it was intense. Here's how it went:

Server: (walks up) Hiiiiii...have you been here before?

Me: Yes, we have.

Server:(full five second pause) ...do you want anything?

Me: Well, yes, two pineapple-mint caipirinhas, please.

Server: (walks away silently)

(we go over to the salad bar, go back to our table, and start getting the tableside rodizio service, which is all great and fine and the guys serving are normal and helpful. She drops off our drinks silently and then disappears for twenty minutes until FI spots her and waves her over, as our drinks have been empty for a while.)

FI: Could we please order more drinks?

Server: ...same?

Me: Actually, could I look at a wine list, please?

Server: What?

Me: A wine...list?

Server: What?

Me: Um, a WINE? LIST? Please?

Server: What?

Me: For wine? the menu?

Server: (light dawns) Oh! Yeah! (runs to get one, which I quickly scan. The house red is listed at the top of the menu, a malbec.)

Me: Great, the house red is fine.

Server: What?

Me: Um, the house red?

Server: What?

Me: The malbec? 

Server: Oh, the malbec, okay!

(eventually returns with our drinks. Another twenty minutes goes by. More empty drinks. FI waves her over again.)

FI: Could we have another round?

Server: Of drinks? You want the same?

Me: Yes, another glass of wine for me, and another caipirinha for you?

(FI nods. Server leaves silently, then returns with two caipirinhas.)

And scene.

She spoke English as a first language, as do I. It wasn't loud. It wasn't busy. I have absolutely no idea why everything that came out of my mouth was COMPLETELY INCOMPREHENSIBLE to this woman unless it was drugs. It was so weird. FI and I could not stop giggling.

The only thing I can think of is that the town we were in hires tons of Australian temporary workers in ski season, of which she was one, and maybe she was, I dunno, fresh off the plane and couldn't understand our accents very well despite presumably hearing North American accents all her life in movies and TV and stuff?

But I'm guessing it was more likely some sweet BC "herbal refreshment" and she was high as a kite. Hilarious though. I was actually starting to wonder if I'd gone crazy and only thought I was speaking English but there was just gibberish coming out of my mouth.

lovegood90

amelisha said:

We spent the weekend skiing in the mountains for FI's birthday and did get fairly drunk both nights on fancy cocktails in celebration, but uneventfully so, except for my encounter with the world's dumbest server. I don't know if she was high or what but it was intense. Here's how it went:

Server: (walks up) Hiiiiii...have you been here before?

Me: Yes, we have.

Server:(full five second pause) ...do you want anything?

Me: Well, yes, two pineapple-mint caipirinhas, please.

Server: (walks away silently)

(we go over to the salad bar, go back to our table, and start getting the tableside rodizio service, which is all great and fine and the guys serving are normal and helpful. She drops off our drinks silently and then disappears for twenty minutes until FI spots her and waves her over, as our drinks have been empty for a while.)

FI: Could we please order more drinks?

Server: ...same?

Me: Actually, could I look at a wine list, please?

Server: What?

Me: A wine...list?

Server: What?

Me: Um, a WINE? LIST? Please?

Server: What?

Me: For wine? the menu?

Server: (light dawns) Oh! Yeah! (runs to get one, which I quickly scan. The house red is listed at the top of the menu, a malbec.)

Me: Great, the house red is fine.

Server: What?

Me: Um, the house red?

Server: What?

Me: The malbec? 

Server: Oh, the malbec, okay!

(eventually returns with our drinks. Another twenty minutes goes by. More empty drinks. FI waves her over again.)

FI: Could we have another round?

Server: Of drinks? You want the same?

Me: Yes, another glass of wine for me, and another caipirinha for you?

(FI nods. Server leaves silently, then returns with two caipirinhas.)

And scene.

She spoke English as a first language, as do I. It wasn't loud. It wasn't busy. I have absolutely no idea why everything that came out of my mouth was COMPLETELY INCOMPREHENSIBLE to this woman unless it was drugs. It was so weird. FI and I could not stop giggling.

The only thing I can think of is that the town we were in hires tons of Australian temporary workers in ski season, of which she was one, and maybe she was, I dunno, fresh off the plane and couldn't understand our accents very well despite presumably hearing North American accents all her life in movies and TV and stuff?

But I'm guessing it was more likely some sweet BC "herbal refreshment" and she was high as a kite. Hilarious though. I was actually starting to wonder if I'd gone crazy and only thought I was speaking English but there was just gibberish coming out of my mouth.

If you're talking about Whistler I've had some very similar experiences with the servers there, it's pretty funny! I also felt like one of the only Canadian people there, it's like a hot zone for Australians! Was such a good time though, everyone there likes a party haha.

emmaaa

We went to the beach this weekend. 

I left work early Friday and we got down there and went to a seafood bar and it was amazing. We had fresh oysters, clams, crab legs, and shrimp. So good! 

It rained all day Saturday but DH's biological grandma's best friend came to see us. We talked about his grandma (who passed away when he was less than a year old) and it was so nice to learn more about the amazing lady everyone always talks about. We went out that night and got wings with her too.

Yesterday was absolutely gorgeous outside. We went to the golf club DH's grandma played at to try and find the magnolia tree that was planted by her best friend in her memory. The only problem was that the course shut down at least 15 years ago and hasn't been kept up. There are pine trees on the fairways and underbrush everywhere. We rode around in DH's truck on the cart paths for at least an hour with no luck. We went back to the check in center with a gentleman who actually played with his grandma. He told us how to get to the tree again. We ended up find it and it was huge. It had grown so much and was absolutely beautiful. DH took clippings of the tree and dug up 2 small sprouts from the roots and we hope to be able to have at least 7 to be able to plant in a year or so.

amelisha

lovegood90 said:

amelisha said:

If you're talking about Whistler I've had some very similar experiences with the servers there, it's pretty funny! I also felt like one of the only Canadian people there, it's like a hot zone for Australians! Was such a good time though, everyone there likes a party haha.

Thankfully not Whistler, haha. But similar.

peachy13

I usually make it a good point to drink plenty of wine over the weekend. Friday night, came home to find FI had bought me my fav bottle of red. Had a nice glass, and then just got really thirsty for water. Drank lots of water, even had a cup of tea, and passed out around 11. Saturday night, wanted to tackle the bottle again. Once again, had a glass, and then didn't want anymore. Fell asleep early again. Both weekend nights: barely a buzz. Good nights sleeping and waking up to no hangover.

Then I fudged up yesterday and started drinking mimosas at mom's way too early. Continued on through the day and night. Definitely finished the bottle and then some more. Feeling soooo bad today. I just bought Cadbury eggs for a snack, someone help.

buttercup1958

I was sick all weekend so no fun times for me. V and I walked a little but I didn't do anything else. I'm so tired, I want to take a nap. Last time I was drunk was at my friend's birthday party. We had a mix drink with moonshine and other fun drinks. We were just loud, my friend fell down the stairs butt first so that was funny. 

flutteringinfl

I got a little tipsy yesterday when I partook in a frozen adult beverage at the Florida Aquarium. I need to learn not to drink those because I always drink them too fast for fear that they'll melt. It was delicious though.

Overall, we ended up having a pretty good weekend! The movie was fun and the aquarium was great too. We went on a dolphin tour as well and saw a couple in the bay. We left our pooch at FSIL's house and when we picked him up in the evening, he immediately came to the front to sit in my lap. This is a document to prove it:

I had to banish him back to the backseat when we stopped for gas for safety. He's been super attached to us lately and I don't know why, but we're guessing he wants more stimulation and fun time with us.

Bubblegum5586

I rarely drink more then 1-2 to drinks when we go out. On friday night I got my 2 best friends and their H's all together and we went to a local bar with a 90's cover band playing. We have seen them before and I tend to get buzzed and do a little dancing.

Well I got the first round of drinks for everyone and drank my beer pretty quick. Then my Best friend went to get another round and me and my other best friend went over to help her carry them back and she decided it would be fun to do a shot of jager. Which I am not a big fan of, but why not. As soon as we get back to our table with the drinks one of the guys had ordered a round of fireball whiskey shots.

Everything get's a little blurry from there.

We had a blast dancing and rocking out to 90's covers for 3 hours!!! I had blisters on my feet by the end. Then everyone came back to our house until 4;30. Haven't had a night like that in a long time but it was a blast!!!

tpwkalyn

thisismynickname said:

Oh God. I'm really sorry but I hate St. Patrick's Day! I live in a neighborhood in Chicago that is known for shenanigans (one of many, anyway). 

It's just a shitshow. Total shitshow. People are drunk at 7am. The number of times I've been knocked into by a stumbling drunk just trying to walk to, say, the grocery store, is unreal.

It doesn't help that my area is full of transplants that would never deign to go to the "south side" because omg like gangs and stuff, but come St. Patty's Day they're sporting T-shirts that say "South Side Irish."  Stop, just stop. And the tutus! And headpieces! Augh!

I was walking to run an errand on Saturday and a girl who was larger than me bumped into me (I point out larger as the impact actually made me stumble). I go, "Hey, watch it." And a guy who was with her calls back, "Oh, sorry Bro...."  I'm not a bro, you drunk fuckface. This was 3pm!

<End Rant > 

We were in downtown Chicago Saturday as well (HUGE mistake), but I wanted to take my aunt to Millennium Park but the drunks had already shut it down. I was miffed.