Hi everyone! I almost can't believe the whirlwind the last 18 months of my life have been. I'm newly engaged (no actual ring yet,we're shopping for it together - his idea) for the second time (his first). So here's pretty much how this goes - October 2013 ex husband cheats and walked out, December 2013 we divorce (we're both lawyers so it was super fast for us). September 2014 - Meet FI. Just this weekend (March 2015) - decide to marry. There are no children for either of us.
First of all - thank you SO MUCH for the "It's Normal" link out of the welcome section. I feel like it covers SO MUCH of what I'm going through, but I also feel like there's this huge flood of additional questions and anxieties. I was hoping jotting down what's going through my head at the moment might give us gals a chance to share several of these concerns at once. I know I'd appreciate the input.
Is it too fast? Less than 18 months ago I would have sworn I would never marry again. Now I'm engaged just a little after six months of meeting someone - I doesn't feel fast to me except for when I look back at where I was? Did any of you have such drastic changes? I've noticed in other postings that it tended to be a long time after divorce before people met their seconds (or thirds!) and tended to be longer dating histories before engagement. What do you guys think?
I'm leaning towards no showers/mini-parties - that seems common for second timers, is it?
I don't think it's appropriate for me to register, but he'd like to. What are the rules on this?
Do I have to wear a short or not white dress?
Did anyone do a really big wedding for their second wedding? Is it wrong to want a major celebration for the one that feels right?
Does anyone feel pushed into doing a (what I'm sure would still be beautiful and great if you want it) small, intimate wedding mainly because you feel like you have to be hiding this?
And with all of these sorts of questions.... is anyone else struggling with the fact that as they read through others' postings feeling like, hey, do whatever you want! It's okay! It's all about the two of you! Forget everyone else! and then when it comes to their own feeling like you DO have to worry about all of those things?