Greetings from '08 Junies!

trickeytricky

Hello, 2015 Junies, and congratulations on your upcoming weddings!

Every year, we old married hags from the days of June 2008 make a point to come pay a visit to the Junies about to get married. We want to spread our wedding cheer and best wishes. While we are fast approaching our SEVEN year wedding anniversaries, you all are about to walk down the isle. Since we now have nothing better to do (like hand address 100+ invitations), we're here to say hello, answer any questions you may have about your upcoming weddings, married life, whatever is on your brain.

When I first joined The Knot, I had no intnetions of making life long friends. As you probably have already figured out from forming close bonds with each other, I got much more than I bargained for. You all have a great opportunity to make friends who know exactly where you are at in life. Together you can vent about mother-in-laws, get through spousal fights, infertility, babies, mortgages, sex droughts and even divorce.

A little about us: There are 68 of us who all still talk on a message board daily (all though no longer powered by The Knot). We now have more babies among us than members. Together we've been through everything imaginable. We've held group GTGs across the country and know more about each other than we care to, down to the way we walk to the bathroom after sex (it's an art, apparently). These girls are not just on the opposite end of a computer screen.

With the introduction out of the way, I'll be your liaison for the next few days, taking your questions back to the other girls, some of them may even stop by here and say, "Hi" themselves. I'll respond back with answers from the group. So go ahead, ask us anything, we don't bite.

"People fear that the Internet will contribute to society’s downfall, but
I can tell them that my online friends have rallied to become my IRL
casserole-bearing cheerleaders."  The Caftan

Much love and hugs,

"Trickey"
June 2008

amybyrd

So as one of the old hags!  I was lovingly greeted by the Knot reminding me that Kevin and I have been Newlyweds for 2467days!

My basic advice for the wedding day is set a cut off day--if something isn't done by the Thursday before LET IT GO!!  No one will notice, you will be relaxed, and you can have fun with all your family and friends the few days before the wedding.

 

My married life advice--there will never be a "perfect" time for anything--to have a baby, or have another, to buy a house, to go on vacation, to move to another city--sometimes you just have to do it and work it out as you go along.

And keep your friends--without my Junies I never would have attempted a half marathon, survived new motherhood, got through depression, or laughed and loved as much as I have.

trickeytricky

The details don't matter, because in 7 years the only thing that will remain the same is the person standing next to you on your wedding day (hopefully). Make sure that during all this crazy, hectic planning, you are actually taking the time to focus on the marriage, not just the wedding.

thesilverbride

This is amazing! I am inspired by the amazing community you ladies have created! My journey on the knot has unfortunately not been a very friendly one so far. Lots of mean ladies on here with no filters. I think they forget that this is most of our first times getting married and sometimes even etiquette is not in our knowledge just yet.

You 08 junies seem amazing and I will forever envy the bond you all have! And you're all here with photos of your babies awe! Special!

I guess my only question as of now is, what do you think was the most regretful purchase/best purchase you made for the wedding? 

cstar1015

Thanks '08 Junies! That's awesome you guys have bonded so much and continued that bond for the past 7 years -- and congrats on 7 years of marriage

trickeytricky

thesilverbride said:

I guess my only question as of now is, what do you think was the most regretful purchase/best purchase you made for the wedding? 

How about I tell you what I would tell everyone to spend the money on?
The photos - seven years later that's about all you'll really take out and look at. Make them great.
Also the food, make sure your food is good.

I probably wouldn't waste money on the little stuff, decor, favors, little things that only you'll notice (were those table card numbers in pewter frames or plastic?), etc.

trickeytricky

So happy we didn't do favors. So not needed!!! Also the little things, no one remembers.

Agree with you that the best purchase was photography! 

-Morrigan, mom of 2

trickeytricky

Best: Good food and location. Stayed on budget for dress and didn't do a lot of "fluff" (crazy amt of flowers, table decorations, choc fountains, photo booths, dollar dance, ect)

Worst: Not really knowing what I wanted/look for in a photog. (styles of photography were changing in the time we were engaged to married). 

- Razzle, mom of 1

trickeytricky

Best: videographer followed by photographer and honeymoon

Worst: my dress (I loved it, but I spent an obscene amount of money on it). 

-Sara

trickeytricky

Best: location, cake, food

Worst: dress. If I were to do it again I'd buy a cheaper and more comfortable laid back dress 

-Jenn

trickeytricky

Worst: photog and dj. We had family members doing both and had I spent a bit more it would have been better. 

Best: I loved the string quartet. Not that expensive but added so much to the ceremony/church service.

-Diane

trickeytricky

Best: Photos, food/booze, dress (it's what stars in the pics!), and location.

Worst: Maybe my veil? It was a last minute add-on and I could have gotten it way cheaper. 

All in all I'm happy where we spent money and if I had it to do again, I'd actually have spent more time/money researching hair/makeup people and I'd have had a videographer. and a day-of coordinator. 

-Megan

trickeytricky

Worst: We were pretty frugal so I can't think of anything we spent a lot of money on and regretted it. I can think of things I would've spent more money on actually haha.

Best: DJ (totally what keeps the party going), videographer (I love being able to look back on the day and see our facial expressions changing, hear our vows, see people dancing and laughing. We watch our video every year on our anniversary), and flowers/decor (we went cheap on the location so the flowers/decor really helped set the mood and make the location what I had envisioned).

-Jaay

trickeytricky

Best- Photography and video for me. The day went back so fast, but I like that I have the video recorded.
I'm also glad I didn't waste money on favors that had no meaning to us- just for the sake of having favors. Also like Jessica, staying on budget was the best.

-Alicia

trickeytricky

Best: Amazing food, venue, and videographer (the video captured so many amazing moments, and when I look back 7 years later, family members that are no longer with us are captured forever on it! Warms my heart!)

Worst: I should have done my research on the photographer and DJ. We could have spent about the same amount and had much better service and memories of the day!

Also, while at the end of the day all the little things and details may not matter to some and may be costly, I have absolutely no regrets about any of them. They were important to me to have for myself and my guests, and looking back, some of those little things happen to still be my favorite things!

-Teri

trickeytricky

morrigan wrote:

---

So happy we didn't do favors. So not needed!!! Also the little things, no one remembers.
Agree with you that the best purchase was photography!

---

My answer was going to be exactly this.  Forget the favors, spend money on photography.

I spent an ungodly amount of time hand making little flower seed packets because I thought it was cute and outdoorsy.  I'd be surprised if even a quarter of the people there ever planted them.  Just stupid.

And I wished I'd spent money on a photographer.  We had a family friend who was supposed to be such a "great" photographer offer to do our pictures as a wedding gift, and we figured it was a good way to cut the budget.  Except, she ended up using a fancy point and shoot camera and her experience was limited to a class or two in college.  None of our pictures were great, none of them edited, and I regret it to this day.

-Emma

trickeytricky

Best: photography (with digital rights!), flowers, seated dinner and DJ

Worst: I don't know, there's nothing that I really regret what I spent. Although, I was in the very unusual and fortunate position where my parents paid for 99% of the wedding and a lot of what we did was around their requests. 

-MrsMiller

trickeytricky

Got another two for wasted money.

Shoes. I picked some up at the bridal store. For the money I wish I would have went and gotten some fun shoes I could have worn again (and the beads fell off the shoes towards the end).

Bra. They didn't have my size, so the bra I bought at the store was meh. I wish I would have known to spend the time at a good bra store getting a bra that fit and did not have so much fabric to sweat through. 

-Morrigan

trickeytricky

Best: DJ, dress, and venue

Worst: favors, cake and photographer

Our favors melted because it ended up being so stinkin hot on our wedding day and it was all outside. The cake tasted good but it didn't look anything like I wanted it to, not to mention we had a lot left over for some reason. I wish we would have spent more money on a photographer, the photos were okay but could have been better. 

-Erin

trickeytricky

Best: Venue and caterer

Worst: I'm pretty happy with everything, but if I had to pick one thing I would say our Rolls Royce get away car. It was nice, but a regular limo would have been just as nice. 

-Allison

trickeytricky

Best: videographer, day of coordinator, and happy hour/ bar selections

Worst: Florist. My florist SUCKED. I am sure I probably wouldn't feel this way if my florist hadn't completely fucked up. 
-Kim

trickeytricky

Best: My dress (I wish I had an excuse to wear it again), venue (gorgeous! and totally unaffordable if we were getting married now.  they didn't really "do" weddings then but the word has gotten out so the cost has more than doubled).

Worst: My photog was a friend so she did it @ cost; I wish now we had paid someone to do it more professionally.  The pics aren't bad but I know they could've been better.

-Sara

thesilverbride

Thanks @trickeytricky and please let all your ladies know we appreciate the advice! It is a relief to know my video and photos are going to be worth the cost!