Creative invitation wording - trying to please in laws

Knottie90738447

Hi there! We are having a bit of a dilemma with the invitation wording. So my parents are hosting the wedding in their hometown and are paying for almost all of it. My fiance and I are chipping in for a few things like the open bar and some attire for the bridal party etc. My future in laws, however, want their names as well as my parents' names to invite guests in the invitation. So what they want is "Mr. and Mrs. [brides parents] and Mr. and Mrs. [grooms parents] invite you to the wedding of their children..."

SO, can we get creative here? I would love to put a "hosted by the brides family" somewhere in there which they are ok with. They just don't want the invitation to come from someone that their guests don't know. (Even though this is just how it's done! Am I right?) Thanks in advance!

mikenberger

Knottie90738447 said:

Hi there! We are having a bit of a dilemma with the invitation wording. So my parents are hosting the wedding in their hometown and are paying for almost all of it. My fiance and I are chipping in for a few things like the open bar and some attire for the bridal party etc. My future in laws, however, want their names as well as my parents' names to invite guests in the invitation. So what they want is "Mr. and Mrs. [brides parents] and Mr. and Mrs. [grooms parents] invite you to the wedding of their children..."

SO, can we get creative here? I would love to put a "hosted by the brides family" somewhere in there which they are ok with. They just don't want the invitation to come from someone that their guests don't know. (Even though this is just how it's done! Am I right?) Thanks in advance!

The invite should list who is hosting. Not a family tree of people that want to be included on the invite. So either use something all inclusive "together with their families.." Or put who is hosting. It doesn't mean any one set of parents is more important. Just that they are hosting.

Maggie0829

Mr. and Mrs. John Smith

request the honor of your presence 

at the wedding of their daughter

Sarah Michelle

to

Mr. Jay Michael Doe

son of

Mr. and Mrs. John Doe

Saturday, the twenty-first of June

two thousand fifteen

at six o'clock

Joe's Church

1234 Smith Ave

Timbucktoo, Pluto

If you aren't getting married in a church, then replace the "request the honor of your presence" line with "request the pleasure of your company."

MobKaz

Your in-laws are out of line making any type of suggestion regarding the invitation. They are not the hosts, nor is the groom's family even typically listed on a formal invitation. The invitation to the wedding is NOT being extended by your future in-laws, and it should be made clear to them by your FI that their names will not be on the invitation.

If they are hosting the rehearsal dinner, they can list themselves as hosts on that. Would they be listing your parents as co-hosts of that? I doubt it.

The best compromise that you might offer is listing their names on the invitation under the name of their son........
Mr. and Mrs. ParentsofKnottie
request your presence.....
Daughter's name
to
Fi's name
son of
Mr. and Mrs. Havenobusinessontheinvitation

ShesSoCold

MobKaz said:

Your in-laws are out of line making any type of suggestion regarding the invitation. They are not the hosts, nor is the groom's family even typically listed on a formal invitation. The invitation to the wedding is NOT being extended by your future in-laws, and it should be made clear to them by your FI that their names will not be on the invitation.

If they are hosting the rehearsal dinner, they can list themselves as hosts on that. Would they be listing your parents as co-hosts of that? I doubt it.

The best compromise that you might offer is listing their names on the invitation under the name of their son........
Mr. and Mrs. ParentsofKnottie
request your presence.....
Daughter's name
to
Fi's name
son of
Mr. and Mrs. Havenobusinessontheinvitation

This. Exactly. Your parents are hosting, which means that they are extending the invitation. Their reasoning doesn't make any sense. To me, it would be more important to have clear, proper wording on my invitation than it would be to appease my oddball in-laws (but take my advice with a grain of salt because my MIL is literally BSC). If you and your FI want them somewhere, use the bolded wording. 

southernbelle0915

Sorry, Charlie. If they aren't hosting, there's no reason their names should be on the invite.  It's not an honor to be listed - it's a message to guests about who's hosting. So if they're not hosting, their names can go on the programs.

theartistformerlyknownas

Don't all these guests know your FI's name? The argument of not knowing the names should go out the window. They're just being AWs.

climbingsingle

lolo883 said:

Don't all these guests know your FI's name? The argument of not knowing the names should go out the window. They're just being AWs.

Totally agree. They're not hosting, their names don't go on the invite. 

Jen4948

Jumping on "if they're not hosting, their names don't belong" bandwagon. Conceiving and giving birth to your FI =\= "hosting." (Neither does paying for the wedding, BTW.)

banana468

The only compromise I'd make here is to put "son of" on the invitation.

They don't get to look like hosts when they aren't hosting. 

haleyk620

Knottie90738447 said:

Hi there! We are having a bit of a dilemma with the invitation wording. So my parents are hosting the wedding in their hometown and are paying for almost all of it. My fiance and I are chipping in for a few things like the open bar and some attire for the bridal party etc. My future in laws, however, want their names as well as my parents' names to invite guests in the invitation. So what they want is "Mr. and Mrs. [brides parents] and Mr. and Mrs. [grooms parents] invite you to the wedding of their children..."

SO, can we get creative here? I would love to put a "hosted by the brides family" somewhere in there which they are ok with. They just don't want the invitation to come from someone that their guests don't know. (Even though this is just how it's done! Am I right?) Thanks in advance!

ALL OF THIS. We faced the same dilemma when working on our wedding invitations...it turned into quite the argument because my FI just didn't understand the proper etiquette, and I felt like his parents were just trying to 'take credit' for part of the wedding when they claimed they only wanted their names on the invite because some relatives may not know who my FI is (in which case I think they shouldn't be invited if they don't know him...)

And I also didn't feel they should be put on the invite because my parents are hosting/helping my FI and I pay for the wedding. There was a comment made by FI's father that he 'sympathized with my parents financial situation' (when there is no situation to begin with!). That really made me not want to include FI's parents on invite.

Anyway...I ended up including them on the invite and as PPs have suggested I just put 'Son of' under FI's name. Sorry for the long ranting post, but it was very frustrating for me and FI  just didn't understand.

augsum15

lolo883 said:

Don't all these guests know your FI's name? The argument of not knowing the names should go out the window. They're just being AWs.

Yeah, I would imagine if you're FI's name is on there the guest will know who it's for... if not, then why are you inviting them?