Wedding Etiquette Forum

A SS spotted in its natural environment

I can't even believe I'm writing this post. 

Background: I'm at my friends' house last night. It's a couple that's dating, but not yet engaged. 

So we're discussing a wedding that my friends were invited to. The couple wants to have a "daytime formal" wedding, which is some royal wedding attire nonsense so they included a card with the invitation instructing people what wear. It actually said "hats are recommended".

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I say how I think it's rude because, duh, it is. They are both like oh no I think you have to tell people want to wear to your wedding. 

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I was like people will know what to wear to your wedding; they don't need instructions. And the girl is like well what if I want people to dress formally. I said weddings are a formal event. People will know what to wear based on the location, time, invites, etc, and the only time it's appropriate to include attire info is when then venue has a dress code or if you are having a true black tie event. 

This leads to the guy saying you can have black tie optional, to which I said that's confusing and also not a thing. Then we got into a whole discussion about what is/is not black tie, but I digress. 

Anyway, I'm all like why do you care what other people wear anyway? It won't affect your day. He responds by saying it will affect their day and people should respect them enough to dress appropriately and he would be super offended if anyone wore something he deemed inappropriate. 

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I'm like well you can't just tell people what to wear. They are adults, and you should be happy they are coming to your wedding and not concerned with their outfits. He said, and this is a direct quote, "It's the bride and groom's special day; people should do what they want them to."

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I damn near fell out of my chair. I said your reception is to thank your guests for coming to your wedding so no, it's not really about your "vision". 

He says, I disagree. I'm like well, that's not really an opinion; it's a fact. 

Finally, I said you can do what you want when y'all get married, but it's rude and I will judge you for it. 

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Re: A SS spotted in its natural environment

  • That's some animal planet shit right there. Good on you for calling them out on it.

    Formerly martha1818

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  • Good job fighting the good fight. But honestly, sometimes it's not even worth the air. 

    I've been trying with one of FI's friends (I'm also in the wedding). "I'm not inviting her. She's rude." "She's the girlfriend of one of the groomsmen. And a girlfriend of 6 years at that." "I don't care. I don't like her. He can decide to bring her or not." 

    "I'm not allowing children under 7 at my wedding ceremony. Parents can use the babysitter or they can stay at home. And I'll personally escort them out. I will not have screaming kids at my wedding." 

    Chriiiiiiist.

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  • The girl was genuinely curious about etiquette and was asking questions, but I don't think I got anywhere with the guy, which is why I finally gave up and just said well, do what you want, but it's rude. At least they can't claim ignorance. Although, I think ignorance is better than being a diva/ SS. 
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  • I'm a brat and would start fucking with the guy a little...so if they want daytime formal and everyone is to wear hats- then their invitation should command people to come instead of requesting the honor of their presence ;)

    Or maybe a Queen of Hearts theme? Didn't wear a hat then OFF WITH THEIR HEADS!


    Oh please, I don't own a fascinator and sure as hell wouldn't buy one for a daytime event (unless maybe a royal wedding or a horse race or something). I'd probably be rocking my rabbit fur ski hat and feign ignorance on their fictitious dress code for guests.
  • yogadevil said:

    I'm a brat and would start fucking with the guy a little...so if they want daytime formal and everyone is to wear hats- then their invitation should command people to come instead of requesting the honor of their presence ;)

    Or maybe a Queen of Hearts theme? Didn't wear a hat then OFF WITH THEIR HEADS!


    Oh please, I don't own a fascinator and sure as hell wouldn't buy one for a daytime event (unless maybe a royal wedding or a horse race or something). I'd probably be rocking my rabbit fur ski hat and feign ignorance on their fictitious dress code for guests.

    Yeah no way in hell I'm buying special hat to wear to a wedding. It's not a fucking costume party. 
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  • Would baseball caps count as hats? What about bike helmets? Or ski helmets? Those are the only hats I own, and I would NOT go out to buy a fancy hat for some wedding... 
  • @littlepep - omg I need that
    *********************************************************************************

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  • littlepep said:

    JK I FOUND ONE THAT'S TOTALLY WORTH BUYING. 

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    ETF image
    Yep!

    Get one in white to piss of the bride and make sure it has a golden, glitter horn.

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


  • littlepep said:

    JK I FOUND ONE THAT'S TOTALLY WORTH BUYING. 

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    ETF image
    Yep!

    Get one in white to piss of the bride and make sure it has a golden, glitter horn.
    True story: I went to a wedding recently and someone else was wearing white, and I had NO IDEA who the bride was. It was super confusing. 
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  • I would wear a vagina hat

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    I almost spit my water out. This might be the most terrifying thing I've ever seen. Also, I sincerely hope no one's vagina actually looks like that.
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  • I work at a local Goodwill and we have a hat that literally looks like someone skinned a Muppet and made like a fucked up pimp hat out of it. I'd totes wear that if they required me to wear a hat. It looks extremely similar to this one.

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    Formerly known as bubbles053009





  • littlepep said:

    I would wear a vagina hat

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    I almost spit my water out. This might be the most terrifying thing I've ever seen. Also, I sincerely hope no one's vagina actually looks like that.
    I want the sofa
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  • This has been driving me crazy! I've been able to figure out most acronyms/initialisms on here, but what the heck does SS stand for?
  • special snowflake

  • bananaham said:

    This has been driving me crazy! I've been able to figure out most acronyms/initialisms on here, but what the heck does SS stand for?

    Special snowflake.
    Image result for someecard betting someone half your shit youll love them forever
  • Or, alternatively,

    speshul snoflake
  • One of our friends asked us what he should wear to our wedding last night. I told him whatever you want. My FI interjected he should wear clothes. And I added, well, probably you should wear clothes and shoes. The friend asked if he could wear his kilt. I said absolutely. Frankly I'll be a little sad if he doesn't show up in a kilt now. 
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  • One of our friends asked us what he should wear to our wedding last night. I told him whatever you want. My FI interjected he should wear clothes. And I added, well, probably you should wear clothes and shoes. The friend asked if he could wear his kilt. I said absolutely. Frankly I'll be a little sad if he doesn't show up in a kilt now. 

    The made a comment to me about so I can wear whatever to your wedding? I was like yep, whatever. If you want to show up in America shorts, more power to you. Maybe even America shorts over a tux to keep it classy. I was like you'll look ridicuous, but I'll get a good laugh and it certainly won't ruin my wedding day.
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  • littlepep said:

    One of our friends asked us what he should wear to our wedding last night. I told him whatever you want. My FI interjected he should wear clothes. And I added, well, probably you should wear clothes and shoes. The friend asked if he could wear his kilt. I said absolutely. Frankly I'll be a little sad if he doesn't show up in a kilt now. 

    The made a comment to me about so I can wear whatever to your wedding? I was like yep, whatever. If you want to show up in America shorts, more power to you. Maybe even America shorts over a tux to keep it classy. I was like you'll look ridicuous, but I'll get a good laugh and it certainly won't ruin my wedding day.
    It occurred to me that a good policy would be "No shirt, no shoes, no service", like a restaurant. 

    Seriously, most of our friends and family will wear a suit and tie for men and a cocktail dress for ladies but if any guest wore flip flops, jeans and a t-shirt I just can't see any scenario in which I would care on my wedding day. 
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  • littlepep said:

    One of our friends asked us what he should wear to our wedding last night. I told him whatever you want. My FI interjected he should wear clothes. And I added, well, probably you should wear clothes and shoes. The friend asked if he could wear his kilt. I said absolutely. Frankly I'll be a little sad if he doesn't show up in a kilt now. 

    The made a comment to me about so I can wear whatever to your wedding? I was like yep, whatever. If you want to show up in America shorts, more power to you. Maybe even America shorts over a tux to keep it classy. I was like you'll look ridicuous, but I'll get a good laugh and it certainly won't ruin my wedding day.
    It occurred to me that a good policy would be "No shirt, no shoes, no service", like a restaurant. 

    Seriously, most of our friends and family will wear a suit and tie for men and a cocktail dress for ladies but if any guest wore flip flops, jeans and a t-shirt I just can't see any scenario in which I would care on my wedding day. 
    Things I care about on my wedding day, in order: 

    1. Getting married to FI
    2. Having fun with my bridal party/friends/family
    3. My guests enjoying themselves
    4. Eating good fun
    5. Washing said food down with equally good drinks
    6. Dancing my ass off

    No one else's attire is anywhere close to being on the list. 
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  • In addition to that list, 

    Things I Will Be Actually Paying Attention To On My Wedding Day:
    1. FI
    2. Not stepping on my dress
    3. Whatever the photographer is saying to me...wait, what am I supposed to do now?
    4. OOO FOOOD!
    5. Is it wine time now?
    6. Did I say hi to everyone?
    7. Does that mean I can go home and sleep now? I'm tired.


    That's pretty much my expectation. Again. Clothes are not on that list.
  • edited June 2015
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