Wedding Woes

DIL's true feelings have been outed to us

Dear Prudence,
bout six weeks ago my husband and I received an anonymous email that said we should check out what our daughter-in-law was posting on an Internet forum we’d never heard of. We were given a link and her username. We were shocked to discover she was spending vast amounts of work time posting to this forum. More upsetting was what she was posting about us and our son. We have been generous financially and otherwise to them and their children, but according to her posts she resents us and thinks we are “interfering.” We don’t think we are, and we’ve never had our offers refused. Worse is how she talks online about our son. He is very helpful around the house and she acknowledges he gets the kids ready for day care most mornings, plays with them after work, then works in the evening at home to advance his career. Despite this, she gripes about him and details the ways he annoys her. Perhaps the very worst is finding out she has a rather unsavory past, including phone-sex work, drug addiction, and embezzlement. We knew nothing of this, but she mentions these things without a trace of guilt or embarrassment on the forum. Do we say anything to our son about what we’ve discovered? There is a part of me that would love to just ignore all we’ve learned and try to maintain a good relationship with her because we love our son and grandchildren, but my husband has been steaming about our son being “taken” by someone we suddenly realize may not be a very nice person.

—Sick at Heart

Re: DIL's true feelings have been outed to us

  • So...wait. They get an anonymous tip about things their "DIL" is posting, complete with a link and username? 

    Yeah, no. I'm betting that "DIL" hasn't posted a damn thing, and this is all a scam to...I don't know, exact revenge for a petty slight? Ruin someone's life? Break up the marriage so the son will be free? 

    Even if the DIL is actually posting, it's whoever sent that email they should be upset with. That person's a shit-stirrer of the highest degree. 

    And also, embezzlement is something to be ashamed of. That's an actual wrong done to someone else. Phone sex work and drug addiction? Seriously? No. 
  • My first thought was, "Which one of us is holding back phone sex operator stories?!?!  SHARE THAT NOW!"
  • Yes, the phone-sex and past drug addiction making her 'unsavory' is worthy of side-eyeing. 

    Also, the whole "We don't think we've been overbearing! We've been *generous*!"   Of course you don't think you're being overbearing, but I bet you are meddling more than makes your DIL comfortable.  Also, I'd bet the 'generosity' comes with strings.  

  • "87% of facts on the Internet are false 100% of the time" Abraham Lincoln

    Seriously, these people are gullible if they believe all they read online. Maybe she embellishes or creates an online persona for fun.
  • Assuming the DIL is even posting and if all of what she says regarding her past is true, who is to say that she hasn't discussed it with her husband and he's fine with it/not holding it against her?

  • also - if this is a troll/catfishing situation, why in the hell wouldn't they have tracked down the husband and e-mailed him too?
  • mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited March 2015
    *Barbie* said:

    also - if this is a troll/catfishing situation, why in the hell wouldn't they have tracked down the husband and e-mailed him too?

    Prudie mentioned in her response that it's likely the H knows/has been contacted too. 
  • oh, chad.
  • hmonkey said:

    oh, chad.

    Throwback Thursday! 
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