Wedding Woes

My BF's great sexpectations are wearing me out

Dear Prudie,
 am in my 50s and my boyfriend is a loving and attentive man in his 60s. When we got together, our libidos jumpstarted to a degree that amazed me. I know that we are lucky. I also know that my baseline of sexual desire is not as high as he thinks. In the three years we have been together, life has taken a few whacks at me, and he’s stayed constant and true through life stresses and illness. Now, we are sorting out the process of combining households within a year. He is so excited about our upcoming life changes that he is once again alight with love’s passion. There are so many amorous texts that I can’t take the time to answer (I work, he doesn’t). I find myself tired after endless nights of hot flashes, and longing for some time together when we are not in the middle of an onslaught of deep kisses and fevered caresses. It seems unthinkable to complain about being so desired, and I can’t stand the thought of crushing his excitement. But as we approach living together, I’m exhausted by the prospect of so much daily ardor. Sometimes, I want to converse without being told I’m sexy and that he wants me. How do I tell him this without making him feel scolded and unwanted?

—Exhausted by Love

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