Wedding Etiquette Forum

Guest Etiquette

This may be long winded, sorry in advance!
A few years ago, the couple my parents were friends for 20+years with had a falling out. "Dan and Judy" went through a messy divorce and the husband cut ties. We all stayed close with Judy and my brother and I were still friendly with their kids.
Well, Judy basically had a jealous tantrum over a married man she was seeing said hello and chatted with my mom at their workplace. My mom pulled back b/c she didn't need or want the drama. So, that tie was severed and we haven't seen or heard from Judy since.
When I got married a few years ago, I debated on whether or not to invite this family and ultimately decided not to. I hadnt had any contact with the kids or parents, though my brother remained in contact with the oldest son via social media.
Fast forward to 2015. The eldest son is getting married and has invited our entire family to attend both ceremony and reception. The invite said my mom and family.
Should i reach out to him and ask if he's comfortable with all of us coming, or it assumed in the wording of the invitation?
Also, i kind of feel like a jerk for not inviting him to my wedding, even though I know you can't invite everybody and weddings aren't a tit for tat situation.
Any thoughts would be appreciated!

Re: Guest Etiquette

  • I'd just assume it from the invitation wording.

    As for your own wedding, there's no need for you to feel guilty. There were people you invited instead of this guy because you felt closer to them. End of story.
  • Ok, thanks! I just would hate to show up with the whole family and everyone staring us down! I know I must be making this a bigger deal than it is...
  • Since the invitation was addressed to your mom, she should be the one to call and clarify. I find the "and Family" to be kind of weird and vague, especially since you are an adult and (I'm assuming) don't live at the same address.
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  • mlg78mlg78 member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary 5 Answers
    They were very vague in addressing the invitation so your mom needs to clarify that before assuming who is invited. Don't worry about not inviting them...since we got married 18 months ago we have been invited to 4 weddings that we didn't invite to ours. No big deal.
  • Why do you even want to go if you haven't had any contact with any of them? Especially when you weren't properly invited? I would assume the family was a courtesy invite and decline.

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