Etiquette

Reverse of the PPD Question...Reception First?

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Re: Reverse of the PPD Question...Reception First?

  • Thank you all for your advice and opinions. I am happy to say everything went through with no problems and the wedding will be going ahead as planned!
  • lovegood90lovegood90 Ontario member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    Wow, look at that it was magically resolved not 4 days after you posted.... 

    Formerly martha1818

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    ashley8918
  • The 31 day waiting period begins today. That gives us plenty of time. I'm not sure I understood the previous replies
  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot Atlanta member
    Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer

    The 31 day waiting period begins today. That gives us plenty of time. I'm not sure I understood the previous replies

    So it hasn't been resolved. 

    There's not a judge standing there waiting for the 31 days to expire and then to sign your divorce. It might get finalized in 32 days, it might take 60, it might take more. You never know. And that assumes that everything is 100% filed perfectly and that the judge isn't going to reject it over a technicality. 
  • The judge signed it yesterday. We are free to get married after 31 days.
  • Why were you so stressed over it when (if) you only needed to wait 4 days to see if all would be fine?

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    ashley8918mikenbergerSTARMOON44redoryx
  • That's because I worry about EVERYTHING! I certainly learned a valuable lesson through all this, though, and again I thank all of you for your candid answers. Naturally you didn't give me the answer I had hoped for and had everything not worked out you would have saved me from a huge embarrassment!
    Knottie48804623
  • JennyColadaJennyColada Awesometown, CA member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
    I think you still have plenty to be embarassed about.
    lovegood90ShesSoColdashley8918climbingwife
  • I think you still have plenty to be embarassed about.

    Really?? She asked a question about how she could make things work, she didn't actually DO it. Are people supposed to be embarrassed for the things they don't know? That's what this forum is here for! 
    JellyBean52513
  • lightningsnowlightningsnow New Hampshire member
    Fourth Anniversary 250 Love Its 100 Comments First Answer

    I think you still have plenty to be embarassed about.

    What else does have to embarrassed about? The fact that she was with a still married man who she loved dearly and who loved her back? My dad's divorce from his first wife wasn't finalized until the day I was born and my parents had been together for a couple of years by that point.

    My dad's first wife dragged my dad through hell and back divorcing him. After their divorce she ended up moving, with my older brother in tow, to Florida from Massachusetts partially to spite my dad. It forever strained the relationship my dad had with my brother.

    Not everyone gets together the same way. Frankly how my parents got together, while being unconventional and going against most people's morals, was because of the love they had for each other. You can't blame someone for falling in love with someone else regardless of the reasons.

    You can't help who you fall in love with. You learn to support those people no matter what.
    Formerly known as bubbles053009





    JellyBean52513
  • lightningsnowlightningsnow New Hampshire member
    Fourth Anniversary 250 Love Its 100 Comments First Answer

    I think you still have plenty to be embarassed about.

    What else does have to embarrassed about? The fact that she was with a still married man who she loved dearly and who loved her back? My dad's divorce from his first wife wasn't finalized until the day I was born and my parents had been together for a couple of years by that point.

    My dad's first wife dragged my dad through hell and back divorcing him. After their divorce she ended up moving, with my older brother in tow, to Florida from Massachusetts partially to spite my dad. It forever strained the relationship my dad had with my brother.

    Not everyone gets together the same way. Frankly how my parents got together, while being unconventional and going against most people's morals, was because of the love they had for each other. You can't blame someone for falling in love with someone else regardless of the reasons.

    You can't help who you fall in love with. You learn to support those people no matter what.
    You can't help who you fall in love with, but you CAN help whether or not you spend tons of $$ on a wedding to a man still married.
    Yet she seems to have it all taken care now though so she doesn't need to worry anymore. Should the divorce had not been finalized within the time frame I'd agree but she seems to be fine.
    Formerly known as bubbles053009





    Knottie48804623
  • flantasticflantastic The Midwest member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers

    I think you still have plenty to be embarassed about.

    What else does have to embarrassed about? The fact that she was with a still married man who she loved dearly and who loved her back? My dad's divorce from his first wife wasn't finalized until the day I was born and my parents had been together for a couple of years by that point.

    My dad's first wife dragged my dad through hell and back divorcing him. After their divorce she ended up moving, with my older brother in tow, to Florida from Massachusetts partially to spite my dad. It forever strained the relationship my dad had with my brother.

    Not everyone gets together the same way. Frankly how my parents got together, while being unconventional and going against most people's morals, was because of the love they had for each other. You can't blame someone for falling in love with someone else regardless of the reasons.

    You can't help who you fall in love with. You learn to support those people no matter what.
    You can't help who you fall in love with, but you CAN help whether or not you spend tons of $$ on a wedding to a man still married.
    Yet she seems to have it all taken care now though so she doesn't need to worry anymore. Should the divorce had not been finalized within the time frame I'd agree but she seems to be fine.



    The point is, that's pure luck.

    It's still poor planning and decision-making.

    I'm glad it worked out for her.

    ashley8918climbingwifeTheDeathLlama
  • lovegood90lovegood90 Ontario member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper

    I think you still have plenty to be embarassed about.

    What else does have to embarrassed about? The fact that she was with a still married man who she loved dearly and who loved her back? My dad's divorce from his first wife wasn't finalized until the day I was born and my parents had been together for a couple of years by that point.

    My dad's first wife dragged my dad through hell and back divorcing him. After their divorce she ended up moving, with my older brother in tow, to Florida from Massachusetts partially to spite my dad. It forever strained the relationship my dad had with my brother.

    Not everyone gets together the same way. Frankly how my parents got together, while being unconventional and going against most people's morals, was because of the love they had for each other. You can't blame someone for falling in love with someone else regardless of the reasons.

    You can't help who you fall in love with. You learn to support those people no matter what.
    You can't help who you fall in love with, but you CAN help whether or not you spend tons of $$ on a wedding to a man still married.
    Yet she seems to have it all taken care now though so she doesn't need to worry anymore. Should the divorce had not been finalized within the time frame I'd agree but she seems to be fine.



    The point is, that's pure luck.

    It's still poor planning and decision-making.

    I'm glad it worked out for her.

    Exactly, the point is wait until it's finalized (ie 31 days from now) to drop any money on anything. Not drop the money then cross your fingers it works out. That's just incredibly stupid, sorry not sorry.

    Formerly martha1818

    image


    ashley8918MyNameIsNotPrettyGirlLostTheDeathLlama
  • I think you still have plenty to be embarassed about.

    What else does have to embarrassed about? The fact that she was with a still married man who she loved dearly and who loved her back? My dad's divorce from his first wife wasn't finalized until the day I was born and my parents had been together for a couple of years by that point.

    My dad's first wife dragged my dad through hell and back divorcing him. After their divorce she ended up moving, with my older brother in tow, to Florida from Massachusetts partially to spite my dad. It forever strained the relationship my dad had with my brother.

    Not everyone gets together the same way. Frankly how my parents got together, while being unconventional and going against most people's morals, was because of the love they had for each other. You can't blame someone for falling in love with someone else regardless of the reasons.

    You can't help who you fall in love with. You learn to support those people no matter what.
    You can't help who you fall in love with, but you CAN help whether or not you spend tons of $$ on a wedding to a man still married.
    Yet she seems to have it all taken care now though so she doesn't need to worry anymore. Should the divorce had not been finalized within the time frame I'd agree but she seems to be fine.
    She's fine because she got lucky. 

    Take the married man out of the equation. Let's say your rich aunt Bertha says she's going to give you a million dollars for your wedding. You don't immediately start planning a million dollar wedding because what happens if Aunt Bertha changes her mind or the check bounces or whatever. You don't start planning until you have that money deposited into your bank account.

    Likewise, you don't plan a wedding to a person who is still legally married because there's always the chance something will happen or prolong the process. You don't start planning until that divorce has gone all the way through.
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    Dreamergirl8812MollyandDashley8918
  • edited March 2015
    Yes, I made a planning mistake that could have backfired on me and I'm thankful it didn't. As for being embarrassed, I think you mean because he wasn't legally divorced.

    When you talk of being involved with a married man, it sounds as if he goes home to his wife every night. They broke up 9 years ago (before I met him) and they haven't seen each other in the past four years. She initiated the final divorce proceedings so she can marry the father of her daughter and her soon-to-be-born baby. 

    I meant no offence to anyone on this board, and I hope your comments weren't meant to hurt me. Brides sharing idea, opinions, and advice -- that's what it's all about, right!
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