What is a rehearsal dinner and should I have one at my destination wedding?

PurplekittenMew

All I know about rehearsal dinners is that they're a meal you have the evening before your wedding.  I don't know why, or why it's called that, or who is supposed to be there.

I also don't know if it's a thing that I should be doing at my destination wedding, which is at an all-inclusive resort.

thanks!

Maggie0829

The reason you have a rehearsal dinner is if you have had a ceremony rehearsal and have asked your wedding party, parents, etc to attend.  If you aren't having a ceremony rehearsal then you don't need to have a rehearsal dinner.

Typically the wedding party, their SOs, parents, officiant, possibly grandparents attend the rehearsal and the dinner.  But really you can invite anyone you would like to your dinner, even if they do not attend the rehearsal.

So in the end it is up to you.  If you and your FI just wish to have a quick run through of the ceremony by yourselves then no set dinner is necessary.  If you have others attend then you and your FI must plan a dinner for your guests.

flantastic

PurplekittenMew said:

All I know about rehearsal dinners is that they're a meal you have the evening before your wedding.  I don't know why, or why it's called that, or who is supposed to be there.

I also don't know if it's a thing that I should be doing at my destination wedding, which is at an all-inclusive resort.

thanks!

The purpose of a rehearsal dinner is to thank anyone who took time out of their day to rehearse the wedding ceremony with you on that evening.

If you don't have a rehearsal, you don't need one.

If you do have a rehearsal, you need to provide a dinner for whoever had to be there - parents, grandparents, wedding party, readers, etc. - and their significant others. You also have the option to invite anyone else you want, but you don't have to.

PurplekittenMew

Thanks for the explanation!

I don't think we are having a rehearsal since the officiant will only be there on the day of the ceremony, and we don't have any bridesmaids or groomsmen.

I think the whole lack of a wedding party thing is a big reason why I don't understand a number of wedding traditions.

slothiegal

PurplekittenMew said:

Thanks for the explanation!

I don't think we are having a rehearsal since the officiant will only be there on the day of the ceremony, and we don't have any bridesmaids or groomsmen.

I think the whole lack of a wedding party thing is a big reason why I don't understand a number of wedding traditions.

Look at it this way--a whole barrel of monkeys you don't have to worry yourself with  

saric83

We had a DW, and we skipped the rehearsal, but we still hosted a welcome cocktail hour that night before.  We kept it to two hours, and it was really low-key, but it was still nice to meet up with people and hang out. 

We were also at an all-inclusive, and we paid for a set-up with a whole range of appetizers that were different than the restaurant dinner selections, and we had a private bar with two bartenders brought down to the beach. 

 It's absolutely not required, but if you want to do some kind of get-together, you could do something like that. 

sames52915

We are not having an actual "Rehearsal' but we are having a rehearsal dinner. More to thank everyone for being a part of the wedding, and that is also when we are giving out the bridal party gifts. I have been to two Rehearsal Dinners in the past. 1 was exactly what we were doing, just a nice dinner with the bridal party and immediate family. The second was an actual church rehearsal followed by a big dinner at a nearby restaurant

Viczaesar

Knottie65238178 said:

A rehearsal dinner is the event night before the wedding. It is the chance for both parties to know each other well. It's part of the wedding customs which I believe should also be done on destination weddings. But if this will eat up the budget, then, don't pursue it. 

No, that's not the purpose.  And frankly, if the various parties don't know each other well by the night before the wedding, a rehearsal dinner is not going to accomplish anything to that end.

redoryx

Knottie65238178 said:

A rehearsal dinner is the event night before the wedding. It is the chance for both parties to know each other well. It's part of the wedding customs which I believe should also be done on destination weddings. But if this will eat up the budget, then, don't pursue it. 

Nope, what you're describing is more of a welcome dinner. A rehearsal dinner follows a wedding rehearsal and it's a way of thanking the people who came to the rehearsal, like your bridal party. 

But, like somebody else said, if they don't already really know each other, a single dinner isn't going to accomplish that.

mikenberger

Knottie65238178 said:

A rehearsal dinner is the event night before the wedding. It is the chance for both parties to know each other well. It's part of the wedding customs which I believe should also be done on destination weddings. But if this will eat up the budget, then, don't pursue it. 

Jen4948

flantastic said:

PurplekittenMew said:

All I know about rehearsal dinners is that they're a meal you have the evening before your wedding.  I don't know why, or why it's called that, or who is supposed to be there.

I also don't know if it's a thing that I should be doing at my destination wedding, which is at an all-inclusive resort.

thanks!

The purpose of a rehearsal dinner is to thank anyone who took time out of their day to rehearse the wedding ceremony with you on that evening.

If you don't have a rehearsal, you don't need one.

If you do have a rehearsal, you need to provide a dinner for whoever had to be there - parents, grandparents, wedding party, readers, etc. - and their significant others. You also have the option to invite anyone else you want, but you don't have to.

Two caveats: Anyone invited to a rehearsal dinner must be invited with their SO if they're in a relationship, and they must also be invited to the wedding itself.

Jen4948

Knottie65238178 said:

A rehearsal dinner is the event night before the wedding. It is the chance for both parties to know each other well. It's part of the wedding customs which I believe should also be done on destination weddings. But if this will eat up the budget, then, don't pursue it. 

Nope. There is no requirement that anything at all be hosted the night before the wedding.

Rehearsal dinners are held immediately after rehearsals to thank the wedding party members and immediate family members-not as "night before" events or to introduce the two sides.

JBee85

Knottie65238178 said:

A rehearsal dinner is the event night before the wedding. It is the chance for both parties to know each other well. It's part of the wedding customs which I believe should also be done on destination weddings. But if this will eat up the budget, then, don't pursue it. 

It didn't work like that with our families. My husbands and my parents never met UNTIL the rehearsal dinner. My husbands family flew in from the Philippines and couldn't get in any sooner because of their visas/money issues. My husband and I dated for10 years, so getting his family over was a real challenge. Even when the wedding was over, the parents still barely knew each other.

delujm0

I was a BM in a DW at an all-inclusive resort...there was no rehearsal, so there was no rehearsal dinner.  But the bride and groom paid a little extra to have a private room and dinner/drinks for all of the wedding guests the night before the wedding, as a welcome dinner.  It wasn't NECESSARY, but it's my belief that if you're asking your nearest and dearest to throw down a LOT of money and attend your DW at an all inclusive resort, it's really nice for you to be able to do a little something extra for them.  It cost DH and i over $3k to attend this wedding - we went for 4 nights, and it was only 6 months before our own wedding, so we didn't love having to spend that money...but we do love our friends who were getting married, so we budgeted for it and went.  All of the little extras hat they threw in (private welcome dinner, really nice welcome bags, etc) were greatly appreciated.