Wedding Woes

Should I spring new boobs on my daughter?

Dear Prudence,
I was barely an AA cup as a young woman and very self-conscious about it. At age 36, after I finished nursing my youngest, I had breast augmentation surgery. For the past 10 years I’ve been a B cup, and I’ve been completely satisfied with my decision. My daughter, who’s about to turn 18, has inherited her breast size from me. Although we haven’t talked about it explicitly, I suspect she’s just as self-conscious about it as I was. She has literally run away to hide while I consulted with the lingerie sales lady about bras for her. I’m thinking about offering her the option of augmentation surgery before she goes to college. She doesn’t know I have implants, and we’re not generally an image-centric or pro-plastic-surgery kind of family. But I’m worried that if I suggest this, I might create the very self-consciousness that I’m aiming to help her relieve. I don’t want her to think that I think there’s anything wrong with her body. Is this a terrible idea? And if I’m not crazy, how do I bring this up in a way that doesn’t imply that I think there’s something wrong with her?

—Flat-chested Family


Re: Should I spring new boobs on my daughter?

  • PMeg819PMeg819 member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited March 2015
    Why hasn't she been doing something to address he daughter's possible self-image issues regarding her breasts before? Why is plastic surgery the only way to make yourself feel better about being the President of the Itty Bitty Titty Committtee?
  • Although we haven’t talked about it explicitly, I suspect she’s just as self-conscious about it as I was. She has literally run away to hide while I consulted with the lingerie sales lady about bras for her.

    This, to me, screamed that it was more the mom's problem than the daughter's.  If her daughter had mentioned anything whatsoever, then it would be a different story.  But this just screamed "projection" to me. 

    Also, why is the mom "consulting" with the lingerie saleswoman?  Unless this happened 5 years ago (in which case, it's irrelevant now), what teenage girl wants to stand there while her mom talks about her boobs with a stranger?  I'm guessing less "run away to hide" and more "duck out to Starbucks while texting her best friend about how embarrassing her mother is."
  • Heffa's got it. This is all projection from the mother, and why is the mom discussing her daughter's boobs with a stranger? I'd be embarrassed by that, and I'm 37. Maybe because I'm 37. My mom pretty much expected me to discuss my own boobs as soon as I was in a real bra size. 

    Also, from my size? The difference between an A and a B doesn't seem worth several thousand dollars and painful recovery. 
  • she should gift daughter with just one side, to see if she likes it. 
  • What in the sam heck! It sounds like this mother is embarrassing, not the boobs! As proud queen of the itty bitties I can tell you I don't want/need them.. How about you gift her a new sweater for college, not new boobs! I would say if they bothered her that much she would have said something but I'm not getting the "open an honest" vibe from this mom!

    To each their own.. but dang woman! Step off the skeeter bites!

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • btw -- 

    as someone who was an a/b before baby mo and has kept the pregnancy ds, both sizes have their pluses and minuses, and i feel self-concious about both sizes.
  • From the FF club - WTF is she thinking?!?!?!  It's SO much easier to find the smaller cup sizes - I'm guessing it's her approach to bra shopping that makes the daughter run and hide - better idea Give daughter a bra budget and take her to Nordstrom's and go find their restaurant or something to do while daughter does the task...  The daughter will bring up the subject soon enough...
  • I suspect that mom has already given her body issues to daughter.
  • Well shit, I wonder why her daughter is so self conscious around her mother. Hmmmm, let me think real hard about that.

  • A girl from my high school was given a boob job for her graduation present. It was completely obvious when she went from an A cup to DD's, on her tiny, tiny frame (she admitted she had eating disorders too- body image issues abound). She posted bikini photos from Spring Break one year and it looked like massive water balloons taped to a skeleton- you could see the outline of the implants. Sad, how society warps people to think they're less because they don't have more of one thing or another. 
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