Wedding Woes

I excluded my sister, she's returning the favor, and now I'm having a tantrum

Dear Prudence,
Five years ago, I married the love of my life. We did not invite my older sister, from whom I was estranged at the time. My older sister has a history of making public scenes and has repeatedly refused psychiatric help, despite the many entreaties of our family. The wedding was attended by both of our families and we had a lovely time. This year, my sister is getting married. In spite of the fact that we have resumed a relationship (of sorts), I am not invited to the wedding. I am hurt, and want to ask my parents not to attend. How do I deal with this, and can I ask my family not to go to her wedding?

—Something Blue

Re: I excluded my sister, she's returning the favor, and now I'm having a tantrum

  • I think in this case, you'd just be stooping to her level. I think it would be rather childish to demand that your family not show up to her wedding. I understand your reasons for excluding her from your own wedding, but whatever issues (mental or otherwise) that she may have, do you really think being spiteful and following in her footsteps is the right move on your part? Weddings are a big deal. You and her are both adults. It's a shame she's refusing to act like one and invite you to her wedding, but if it can't be helped, then I suggest you be the bigger person and move on. Let the rest of your family enjoy themselves. Life is too short for all this drama.
  • Yeah Mrs. Conn - be the bigger person!

  • LOL - I'm reading that and wondering if she posted here way back when and karma is just coming around because I'm guessing there was some "equal footing" in the original situation... 
  • i want to know who mrs. conn's sister is marrying.
  • Let me get this straight - she didn't invite her sister, and the sister does not seem to have pettily asked the parents not to attend, since this woman says that "both families" attended her wedding.  But now the tables have turned, and her response is to try and turn her parents against her sister?  It actually sounds like the sister is the bigger person (you know, aside from not inviting the poster to the wedding, but it sounds like there might be a reason). 

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