We have been betrayed!

VulgarGirl

blabla89 said:

MagicInk said:

10 motherfucking years. 10. That's how many Wifey and I were together before we got married. How many years did we live together? 9. 9 motherfucking years.

Did we have pretty much all our household shit covered? Ya bet your bippy we did. So did we go register for a honeymoon? MOTHERFUCKING NO.

Cause we got fucking class. Cause our friends gave us money cause they ain't dumb. Cause we ain't tacky ass bitches. 

I hate this motherfucking "we live together before marriage so this is ok" bullshit. Motherfucker most people live together before they get fucking married. Don't mean you gotta fund their goddamn vacation. I didn't even have a honeymoon. So fuck you and your "right" to a fucking goddamn honeymoon you motherfucker.

(today's word of the day is motherfucker)

This was my favorite show when I was a kid. I feel like that explains a lot about me.

chibiyui

amelisha said:

lmcooper86 said:

Oh my fucking fuck.

This actually made me want to throw up: "no matter what a couple asks for as a wedding gift, you should shut right the hell up and give it to them". So if they want an elephant I should just hop to and order one from Africa?

Also, the author is, based on the "footnotes" at the bottom, a guy.

Yes, Pinkham's a dude. Who writes a great column on Kitchenette called Behind Closed Ovens on life in the service industry, but apparently has no idea not to be an entitled idiot IRL.

Because GIFTS ARE NEVER REQUIRED AND YOU SHOULD NEVER ASK FOR THEM OR DICTATE WHAT THEY SHOULD BE AND YOU SHOULD ESPECIALLY NOT COMPLAIN ABOUT GIFTS YOU RECEIVE, and also everyone on earth knows that money is something you can give as a gift if you, you know, actually want to.

But I think it's just as gross to put any kind of registry info in an invite, so there's that too. I just really, really hate gift-grabbiness.

Behind Closed Ovens is great.

But damn, he went off the deep end on this. 

I mean, that last paragraph? I don't think there's a single one of us on here who conforms at all to his idea of what "20-40's against honeyfunds" are.

Seriously, it takes a fee, you have to be a fucking idiot to willingly take a 3-8% cut.

jenna8984

The funny thing is even after owning a home and living together for 4 years- we did need stuff. Lots of stuff. Everything in my kitchen is half from my great grandmother and half from yard sales.

And you know what? I still didn't register for anything because I'm of the personal belief that just because we found love and we chose to spend our live together, that doesn't mean everyone should jump to buy me shit. That doesn't mean I'm automatically entitled to presents. I've mentioned before how outdated I think showers are and how much I hate them. I just don't think something huge happening in MY life, should affect the wallets of my loved ones. This author is clearly the opposite, where she feels "buy me what the fuck I ask for".

KatieinBkln

amelisha said:

lmcooper86 said:

Oh my fucking fuck.

This actually made me want to throw up: "no matter what a couple asks for as a wedding gift, you should shut right the hell up and give it to them". So if they want an elephant I should just hop to and order one from Africa?

Also, the author is, based on the "footnotes" at the bottom, a guy.

Yes, Pinkham's a dude. Who writes a great column on Kitchenette called Behind Closed Ovens on life in the service industry, but apparently has no idea not to be an entitled idiot IRL.

Because GIFTS ARE NEVER REQUIRED AND YOU SHOULD NEVER ASK FOR THEM OR DICTATE WHAT THEY SHOULD BE AND YOU SHOULD ESPECIALLY NOT COMPLAIN ABOUT GIFTS YOU RECEIVE, and also everyone on earth knows that money is something you can give as a gift if you, you know, actually want to.

But I think it's just as gross to put any kind of registry info in an invite, so there's that too. I just really, really hate gift-grabbiness.

Behind Closed Ovens is great.

But damn, he went off the deep end on this. 

I mean, that last paragraph? I don't think there's a single one of us on here who conforms at all to his idea of what "20-40's against honeyfunds" are.

Seriously, it takes a fee, you have to be a fucking idiot to willingly take a 3-8% cut.

You aren't a million years old and intensely religious??? Only old, conservative religious fundamentalists could POSSIBLY have an issue with honeyfunds. It's the only explanation.

VulgarGirl

KatieinBkln said:

amelisha said:

lmcooper86 said:

Oh my fucking fuck.

This actually made me want to throw up: "no matter what a couple asks for as a wedding gift, you should shut right the hell up and give it to them". So if they want an elephant I should just hop to and order one from Africa?

Also, the author is, based on the "footnotes" at the bottom, a guy.

Yes, Pinkham's a dude. Who writes a great column on Kitchenette called Behind Closed Ovens on life in the service industry, but apparently has no idea not to be an entitled idiot IRL.

Because GIFTS ARE NEVER REQUIRED AND YOU SHOULD NEVER ASK FOR THEM OR DICTATE WHAT THEY SHOULD BE AND YOU SHOULD ESPECIALLY NOT COMPLAIN ABOUT GIFTS YOU RECEIVE, and also everyone on earth knows that money is something you can give as a gift if you, you know, actually want to.

But I think it's just as gross to put any kind of registry info in an invite, so there's that too. I just really, really hate gift-grabbiness.

Behind Closed Ovens is great.

But damn, he went off the deep end on this. 

I mean, that last paragraph? I don't think there's a single one of us on here who conforms at all to his idea of what "20-40's against honeyfunds" are.

Seriously, it takes a fee, you have to be a fucking idiot to willingly take a 3-8% cut.

You aren't a million years old and intensely religious??? Only old, conservative religious fundamentalists could POSSIBLY have an issue with honeyfunds. It's the only explanation.


Well...I'm a fucking shocked to learn I'm a conservaite religious fundamentalist. Almost everything else in my life points in the other direction.

chibiyui

KatieinBkln said:

amelisha said:

lmcooper86 said:

Oh my fucking fuck.

This actually made me want to throw up: "no matter what a couple asks for as a wedding gift, you should shut right the hell up and give it to them". So if they want an elephant I should just hop to and order one from Africa?

Also, the author is, based on the "footnotes" at the bottom, a guy.

Yes, Pinkham's a dude. Who writes a great column on Kitchenette called Behind Closed Ovens on life in the service industry, but apparently has no idea not to be an entitled idiot IRL.

Because GIFTS ARE NEVER REQUIRED AND YOU SHOULD NEVER ASK FOR THEM OR DICTATE WHAT THEY SHOULD BE AND YOU SHOULD ESPECIALLY NOT COMPLAIN ABOUT GIFTS YOU RECEIVE, and also everyone on earth knows that money is something you can give as a gift if you, you know, actually want to.

But I think it's just as gross to put any kind of registry info in an invite, so there's that too. I just really, really hate gift-grabbiness.

Behind Closed Ovens is great.

But damn, he went off the deep end on this. 

I mean, that last paragraph? I don't think there's a single one of us on here who conforms at all to his idea of what "20-40's against honeyfunds" are.

Seriously, it takes a fee, you have to be a fucking idiot to willingly take a 3-8% cut.

You aren't a million years old and intensely religious??? Only old, conservative religious fundamentalists could POSSIBLY have an issue with honeyfunds. It's the only explanation.


Not only that, my engagement ring isn't a diamond, I tried on dresses at Davids Bridal, I used plenty of scavenged things from Goodwill as decor, and I only had a florist because I have no patience or talent for arranging flowers myself. 

I apparantly failed at being a stereotype.

novella1186

I'm really fucking sick of the whole "we don't need anything so we want money instead of gifts" thing. MONEY IS A FUCKING GIFT. When someone GIVES you money in response to a celebratory event (birthday, wedding, whatthefuckever) then WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU CALL IT IF IT'S NOT A GIFT? Is it a banjo? Is it a hobbit? Is it a fucking magic spell? No, IT'S A FUCKING GIFT. 

KatieinBkln

MagicInk said:

KatieinBkln said:

amelisha said:

lmcooper86 said:

Oh my fucking fuck.

This actually made me want to throw up: "no matter what a couple asks for as a wedding gift, you should shut right the hell up and give it to them". So if they want an elephant I should just hop to and order one from Africa?

Also, the author is, based on the "footnotes" at the bottom, a guy.

Yes, Pinkham's a dude. Who writes a great column on Kitchenette called Behind Closed Ovens on life in the service industry, but apparently has no idea not to be an entitled idiot IRL.

Because GIFTS ARE NEVER REQUIRED AND YOU SHOULD NEVER ASK FOR THEM OR DICTATE WHAT THEY SHOULD BE AND YOU SHOULD ESPECIALLY NOT COMPLAIN ABOUT GIFTS YOU RECEIVE, and also everyone on earth knows that money is something you can give as a gift if you, you know, actually want to.

But I think it's just as gross to put any kind of registry info in an invite, so there's that too. I just really, really hate gift-grabbiness.

Behind Closed Ovens is great.

But damn, he went off the deep end on this. 

I mean, that last paragraph? I don't think there's a single one of us on here who conforms at all to his idea of what "20-40's against honeyfunds" are.

Seriously, it takes a fee, you have to be a fucking idiot to willingly take a 3-8% cut.

You aren't a million years old and intensely religious??? Only old, conservative religious fundamentalists could POSSIBLY have an issue with honeyfunds. It's the only explanation.

Well...I'm a fucking shocked to learn I'm a conservaite religious fundamentalist. Almost everything else in my life points in the other direction.

I know, I know. I was as shocked as you are. 

theartistformerlyknownas

novella1186 said:

I'm really fucking sick of the whole "we don't need anything so we want money instead of gifts" thing. MONEY IS A FUCKING GIFT. When someone GIVES you money in response to a celebratory event (birthday, wedding, whatthefuckever) then WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU CALL IT IF IT'S NOT A GIFT? Is it a banjo? Is it a hobbit? Is it a fucking magic spell? No, IT'S A FUCKING GIFT. 

LOL

hellohkb

I saw this earlier on facebook and thought of you all. I was going to post it but then got sidetracked with honeymoon stuff (yay!).  The comments on Jezebel's facebook page mostly agreed that it wasn't polite. Except one woman said "People who think this is tacky must not be familiar with the stag and doe concept, this is pretty normal!" and I was going to comment that stag and doe's are also tacky as fuck but she'd probably be all, "it's a ~*~REGIONAL~*~ thing, you wouldn't ~*~GET IT~*~!!111"

Then there was some weird guy who said David's Bridal is tacky and all weddings are tacky. And of course the slew of people who said "fuck marriages and fuck weddings!!!!111" and also the people who say all registries are tacky. And then one random commenter who kept insisting normal registries are very 1970s and "no one wants a blender or utensils". Um, so honeyfunds are okay but utensils that you USE TO EAT aren't?

amelisha

novella1186 said:

I'm really fucking sick of the whole "we don't need anything so we want money instead of gifts" thing. MONEY IS A FUCKING GIFT. When someone GIVES you money in response to a celebratory event (birthday, wedding, whatthefuckever) then WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU CALL IT IF IT'S NOT A GIFT? Is it a banjo? Is it a hobbit? Is it a fucking magic spell? No, IT'S A FUCKING GIFT. 

Okay, but if someone gives you a banjo, hobbit, or magic spell for your wedding that's a gift too, and you damn well better write a thank-you note for it and appreciate that someone went all the way to Middle-Earth to get it for you.

ETA: Even if you would have rather gotten cash!

lyndausvi

My sister and BIL got married 20 years ago.  This was before internet was as popular as it is now.  They lived together and owned a home.  

THEY MOSTLY GOT CASH FOR THEIR WEDDING.     Can you believe that?  Back in the old days we figured out on our own people can always use cash.

Oh and like most people who go on HM directly after the wedding.  A lot of their HM payments had already been made.   So I still can't figure out how getting a HM fund check after the fact really helps out those people anyway?

LadyMillil

lyndausvi said:

My sister and BIL got married 20 years ago.  This was before internet was as popular as it is now.  They lived together and owned a home.  

THEY MOSTLY GOT CASH FOR THEIR WEDDING.     Can you believe that?  Back in the old days we figured out on our own people can always use cash.

Oh and like most people who go on HM directly after the wedding.  A lot of their HM payments had already been made.   So I still can't figure out how getting a HM fund check after the fact really helps out those people anyway?

Duh, it pays the credit card bill because they booked a HM they can't afford without a HM fund.

beethery

I usually love that writer but I am so fucking PRESSED right now.

jdluvr06

H and I lived together for 7 years before we got married. So we didn't register for anything. We still got gifts. People aren't stupid. 

I usually give cash as a gift for weddings, however H's friend and his FI have a Honeyfund and nothing else, and because I'm a super contrary person, I bought them a waffle maker. It was a nice waffle maker though. 

JennyColada

Or one could just, you know, not register.

If you don't need any gifts, then why are you trying to get your guests to give you gifts? That's just silly.

lurkergirl

jdluvr06 said:

H and I lived together for 7 years before we got married. So we didn't register for anything. We still got gifts. People aren't stupid. 

I usually give cash as a gift for weddings, however H's friend and his FI have a Honeyfund and nothing else, and because I'm a super contrary person, I bought them a waffle maker. It was a nice waffle maker though. 

I hope you forgot to include the gift receipt.

drunkenwitch

Well I am just an outdated pearl clutching hag because when my friends or family choose of their own free will to give me a gift I smile and say thank you.

Cart me off to the old biddies home.

sophhabobopha

littlepep said:

sophhabobopha said:

This girl is my spirit animal. I have that face 90% of the time because people are stupid. 

Oh me too.

madamerwin

I made it two paragraphs in before I gave up. She sounds like a raving lunatic.

VulgarGirl

He hated on fondue sets. Well fine you can't be on fondue for two cause you suck.

ETA:

ohannabelle

tfmrserwin said:

I made it two paragraphs in before I gave up. She sounds like a raving lunatic.

This x 1000. The author needs to learn to write without sounding like a shrieking hysteric. 

There's no logic in this piece. What a bunch of ageist bullshit stereotyping. 

Dreamergirl8812

Best/worst quote:

I'm
making my wedding byob. a potluck Halloween themed wedding. People
don't like it they can go fly a kite. Weddings turn people into high
maintenance loons. Who cares if the couple wants money instead of
things? Donate what you can afford explain in person you would love to
but cannot financially do it.

I hope your friends pipe down and you get the honeymoon of your dreams.

The other commenters are arguing about whether it is rude to GIVE cash, or if donating to a honeyfund is in leui of a gift or if an additional gift is required.

How do people this stupid function in the world?

Also, I'm embarrassed to be a fan of Jezebel now.

ETA: Second best/worst quote:

I would have liked to have a Honeyfund, but we
were broke as hell and had a small wedding. We couldn't even do an open
bar, just snacks and what not. So we literally wrote on our invites:

"Gifts are welcome but not expected."

This was because of the above, because we already lived together and
didn't need much, and mainly because all of our friends were broke-ass
graduate students. I couldn't imagine asking them for money knowing how
badly ALL of us were struggling at the time. So we had a great party
anyway.

huskypuppy14

Come on guys, Jezebel isn't a good etiquette source. They should just stick to feminist issues. 

southernbelle0915

ohannabelle said:

tfmrserwin said:

I made it two paragraphs in before I gave up. She sounds like a raving lunatic.

This x 1000. The author needs to learn to write without sounding like a shrieking hysteric. 

There's no logic in this piece. What a bunch of ageist bullshit stereotyping. 

Thank you. I laughed reading it.

Pinkham, your entitlement is showing....

slothiegal

Dreamergirl8812 said:Best/worst quote:

I'm
making my wedding byob. a potluck Halloween themed wedding. People
don't like it they can go fly a kite. Weddings turn people into high
maintenance loons. Who cares if the couple wants money instead of
things? Donate what you can afford explain in person you would love to
but cannot financially do it.
I hope your friends pipe down and you get the honeymoon of your dreams.
The other commenters are arguing about whether it is rude to GIVE cash, or if donating to a honeyfund is in leui of a gift or if an additional gift is required.How do people this stupid function in the world?Also, I'm embarrassed to be a fan of Jezebel now.
ETA: Second best/worst quote:I would have liked to have a Honeyfund, but we
were broke as hell and had a small wedding. We couldn't even do an open
bar, just snacks and what not. So we literally wrote on our invites:
"Gifts are welcome but not expected."
This was because of the above, because we already lived together and
didn't need much, and mainly because all of our friends were broke-ass
graduate students. I couldn't imagine asking them for money knowing how
badly ALL of us were struggling at the time. So we had a great party
anyway.





--------




What kills me is the idea that a grown ass man or woman needs to be told that "gifts are welcome".  Um.  No shit.  The bride and groom aren't going to turn into monkeys and start throwing feces presents at the guests.  

"YOUR GIFTS ARE NOT WELCOME HERE, LEAVE THIS PLACE."

ETA boo boxes

chibiyui

huskypuppy14 said:

Come on guys, Jezebel isn't a good etiquette source. They should just stick to feminist issues. 

I don't expect great etiquette from Jezebel, but I am surprised at such entitlement.

Also, disappointed that Pinkham can dish it, but apparently can't take it.

particuliersylphe

I found myself thinking "shut up, shut up, SHUT UP" the entire time I was reading that article...

ashley8918

NOPE.

novella1186

ashley8918 said:

NOPE.

This gif just made my life better