Indian wedding etiquette

Msmurica

I was invited to a friend's Hindu wedding and just wanted some advice.
I am invited to Mehndi, Raas Garba, Vidhi, the wedding and reception. Should I attend all of them? Are some ceremonies more private and meant more for just family and bridal party? If I do attend all of them what can I expect and what should I wear? Any advice is greatly appreciated!

antoto

I recently attended a Hindu wedding as well (prepare yourself for enormous amounts of fun)!  I think if you are invited to something that means the bride wants you to be there, so feel free to attend all of the events.  The wedding I went to was pretty fancy and I am in my 20s so I wore a lehenga.  The bride's aunties pinned it for me and the rest of the women who are unfamiliar with the process - something that is very typical at most Hindu weddings from what I hear.  If the wedding is occuring during the day you can feel free to wear a very nice tunic and pants as well.  Try looking online at Utsavfashion.com.  Make sure to order your outfit around 1.5 /2 months in advance because it ships from India and may take a while.

Have a great time!  

simcal18

I've been to a couple of Hindu weddings, but I've only ever gone to the mehndi and then ceremony/reception.  The mehndi is really fun if you like henna!  Not sure what the raas garba or vidhi are but if you're invited and would like to participate I'd go.  If you're not sure what to expect at the events, I'd ask your friend--India is HUGE and has many subcultures, and celebrations/traditions can often vary from subculture to subculture and even family to family.

As far as what to wear: I would ask your friend, and if she's gracious she will likely tell you to wear whatever you feel comfortable with but give you some pointers about what people typically wear.  I will say that the first Hindu wedding I went to, I did not wear a saree and I regretted it--I think they're beautiful and even many of the non-Indian women at the wedding had them on.  For the second Hindu wedding I went to, I wore a saree from Borrow it Bindaas (http://borrowitbindaas.com/) -- it is essentially Rent the Runway for sarees and other Indian outfits.  I LOVED my saree, it was easy to fit and wear, and I got lots of compliments on it.  antoto's suggestion about buying in advance is a good one if you want to buy, but if you're comfortable renting an outfit (or multiple outfits if you're going to multiple events) I would definitely check it out.

 ETA  two other tips:  one, make sure you get to the ceremony early--you won't want to miss the groom's entrance!  Second, Hindi wedding ceremonies are often very long and can be somewhat rote, and so it's not uncommon for guests to sort of half-pay attention to them.  Often there will be refreshments available during the ceremony and people may be standing around chatting quietly in the back.  Everybody tends to perk up during the key moments, but I was a bit surprised by it just because it was so different than most of the weddings I've been do.  Just something to be aware of.

TrixieJess

Go! The best wedding I've ever been to was an Indian wedding! I went to my girlfriend's Mehndi party the night before the wedding and her stepmom pulled me into a room with all the other women and dressed me up. It was amazing, I was blinged out with bangles and traditional garb. It was one of 3 white girls there  but I had a blast. The wedding was great, the food amazing. The only thing was that it did not start on time. I was told that South Asians don't start events on time. As someone who is always early, this annoyed me so be prepared.

southernbelle0915

If you're  invited, you're obviously welcome. They wouldn't have invited you otherwise. I went to an Indian wedding last summer (Sikh). They did mehndi at the sangeet. The sangeet was nicer than a lot of the weddings I've been to. The wedding was a full day - groom's entrance (amazing), breakfast at the gurudwara, ceremony (sit on floor, men separate from women), lunch at a golf club, bride send off (very emotional), break, then dinner and western-style reception at a country club. 

The biggest things for me to know were that we'd be sitting on the floor (short dresses not recommended) and head had to be covered in the temple; super bright colors encouraged; tying a saree is really hard but youtube is a lifesaver; prepare for LOTS of dancing at the reception.

@manateehugger helped me a lot with advice, too!

simcal18

Yes--DANCING!!!  Be prepared for lots of dancing.

Also--if you do decide to buy/rent a saree, see if you can get one that is prepleated.  It will make your life SO much easier when you try and put it on.

Have fun!

[Deleted User]

I went to an indian wedding years ago.  I wore a dress I already owned to Mehndi.  I went to Devon Street in Chicago to get an outfit for the wedding.  I bought a pair of flowy pants and a matching beaded shirt that went down to my knees and a matching scarf.  I had to get a super large size of pants because I'm so tall, but they come with an elastic-type tie, so no biggie.  I didn't have to wear the indian garb, but I wanted to.  I was told, when I asked what to wear, that they recommend beading, sequins and lots of bling.  So even if you decide to wear something that you already own in your closet, bling it up!  And, yes, be ready to eat amaaaazing food and dance a LOT.  These people know how to throw a party!!!

teddygirl9

I haven't been to a hindu wedding, but lots of other indian weddings (muslim). They are all VERY colourful. You do not need to attend all the events if you don't want, but if you're invited, you are welcome. You also do not need to purchase a new outfit (if you don't frequent these events, they are often $ that sits in your closet), but wear something equally as bright/colourful/fun. LBD are out of place more so than other events.

 

As for what to expect - all events are generally pretty fun, and will probably have some prayers involved as well. The mendhi (for the events Ive been to) is more casual. Wear something comfortable that doesn't interfere with where you want mendhi (if you want it). For example, a tank top/sleeveless/t-shirt if you want your arms done, shorts or skirt if you want any on your legs. We had a pretty non-traditional henna night, some of the younger girls got harry potter symbols and the like, and they are usually open to doing that sort of thing. If you dont know what you want, just tell them, and they will do a little design of their own choosing.

 

The vidhi is more of a gift giving event, depending on whos side you're on it is different. For my previous events, it was more for family, not so much friends (eta family giving gifts. Friends still attended and watched, but werent required to give a gift). There were some traditional ceremonies/prayers during this one. I only attended the male version, and there is also an interesting 'tradition' about making the groom unnattractive to other women. This has evolved into the groom getting into his skivvies and friends/family pelt him with eggs, pour ketchup or mayo on him, etc haha. Very entertaining.