Moms and Maids

Bridesmaids Makeup

I am paying for my bridesmaid's hair but cannot afford to pay for their makeup. I thought this was fine until my MOH told me she wants to wear RED lipstick. My summer wedding is yellow and green, and I am worried she will look clownish next to all my other bridesmaids who have agreed to go in a more natural direction. I also think we will look like a stoplight if anyone wears red. I tried talking about it to her politely, but I don't want her showing up the day of the wedding with red and me having to cause a scene to have her take it off. How do I handle this politely, while still making it very clear that red lipstick is simply not an option?
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Re: Bridesmaids Makeup

  • lovegood90lovegood90 Ontario member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper

    I am paying for my bridesmaid's hair but cannot afford to pay for their makeup. I thought this was fine until my MOH told me she wants to wear RED lipstick. My summer wedding is yellow and green, and I am worried she will look clownish next to all my other bridesmaids who have agreed to go in a more natural direction. I also think we will look like a stoplight if anyone wears red. I tried talking about it to her politely, but I don't want her showing up the day of the wedding with red and me having to cause a scene to have her take it off. How do I handle this politely, while still making it very clear that red lipstick is simply not an option?

    Sorry, but this isn't something you can dictate. The only way you can handle this politely is by letting it go and moving on. The only thing you're allowed to dictate is the dress they wear (which they should have been consulted on budgets beforehand).

    Formerly martha1818

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    PrettyGirlLostlevioosachibiyui
  • Also, would you really cause a scene on your wedding day if she wears red lipstick? If so, I want tickets. Like front row ones. 

    And what if a guest shows up wearing red? WHAT WILL YOU DO?! I guess you should usher them right out. Or have cute burlap and lace bags for people to change into if they wear red. That would probably work, too.
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    mikenbergerPrettyGirlLostprincessgracekellyerinlin25
  • WTF do brides have against the color red??? Between red dresses and red lipstick, seriously people. Next it will be red underwear.
    PrettyGirlLost
  • NowIAmSypNowIAmSyp East Hanover, NJ member
    Eighth Anniversary 500 Love Its 500 Comments First Answer
    April Fools?  (please?)
    blabla89
  • Well I certainly hope she doesn't wear red underwear- that would probably show through her dress. It does sound a little ridiculous in perspective, but I honestly worry that red in the wedding party will also look ridiculous (obviously I can't control guests). Maybe I DO need a hobby but I don't want my wedding pictures to come back looking like a stoplight! I thought if I asked nicely she would find a nice, subtle color but she wants to fight about it and I just want my pictures to be perfect. That's all.
  • mikenbergermikenberger In a f'n cornfield member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    edited April 2015

    Well I certainly hope she doesn't wear red underwear- that would probably show through her dress. It does sound a little ridiculous in perspective, but I honestly worry that red in the wedding party will also look ridiculous (obviously I can't control guests). Maybe I DO need a hobby but I don't want my wedding pictures to come back looking like a stoplight! I thought if I asked nicely she would find a nice, subtle color but she wants to fight about it and I just want my pictures to be perfect. That's all.

    _________BOXES__________



    If you want perfect pictures, make sure it's just YOU in the photos. You can ONLY CONTROL YOURSELF. NOT OTHER PEOPLE. Now stop trying to puppetmaster your bridal party.

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    [Deleted User]
  • Cookie PusherCookie Pusher Looking over your shoulder member
    Tenth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Our colors were blue and red. I'm pretty damn sure no one in the wedding party looked like an American flag, what with the guys wearing white shirts, me in a white dress, and one of the BMs in silvery-white shoes.
    ~*~*~*~*~

  • OliveOilsMomOliveOilsMom South Jersey member
    Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers

    Well I certainly hope she doesn't wear red underwear- that would probably show through her dress. It does sound a little ridiculous in perspective, but I honestly worry that red in the wedding party will also look ridiculous (obviously I can't control guests). Maybe I DO need a hobby but I don't want my wedding pictures to come back looking like a stoplight! I thought if I asked nicely she would find a nice, subtle color but she wants to fight about it and I just want my pictures to be perfect. That's all.

    You will get a lot further in your wedding planning if you realize now that your wedding will not be perfect.  Things will go wrong.  Somethings will be beyond your control and other things will just be like "Who cares, fuck it".  But at the end of the day, if you have married your best friend - that makes it perfect!  You will give yourself an ulcer trying to make your wedding "perfect".
    [Deleted User]CaitFins
  • Thank you for actually being nice. I was HOPING there was a way to balance what I want with also being nice, but it sounds like there may not be :( I am mature enough to know that I can't have "everything" but there's always that striving..
  • Well I certainly hope she doesn't wear red underwear- that would probably show through her dress. It does sound a little ridiculous in perspective, but I honestly worry that red in the wedding party will also look ridiculous (obviously I can't control guests). Maybe I DO need a hobby but I don't want my wedding pictures to come back looking like a stoplight! I thought if I asked nicely she would find a nice, subtle color but she wants to fight about it and I just want my pictures to be perfect. That's all.

    Sorry, forgot to use the sarcasm font.
  • @thespeshulestsnowflake I knew you were being sarcastic with the underwear comment - I was as well. Chalk it up to the internet for not making that clear.

    @prettygirllost thank you for the pictures. They are helpful. Although I am still a little paranoid.
  • Believe it or not, this post was designed to keep me from becoming a bridezilla (while still getting what I want of course :P) not make me look like more of one.
  • lovegood90lovegood90 Ontario member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper

    Believe it or not, this post was designed to keep me from becoming a bridezilla (while still getting what I want of course :P) not make me look like more of one.

    Yeah but we're here to tell you when you ARE being a bridezilla so you don't risk ruining relationships with your friends and family. Not to tell you what you want to hear. So here you go: You are being a bridezilla. Let. It. Go.

    Formerly martha1818

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    [Deleted User]chibiyuiPrettyGirlLost
  • Thank you. Maybe I just needed to hear it in a nice way with helpful pictures and reminders of what really matters instead of being told I am stupid.
  • edited April 2015

    My cousin got married last summer and her bridesmaids wore mint-colored dresses. If you held a gun to my head, I could not tell you what their makeup looked like. In fact, I wore a bright fuchsia lipstick as a guest, which didn't go with her color scheme (which I didn't know beforehand). I was photographed several times because I'm family and the world kept on turning.

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  • Dreamergirl8812Dreamergirl8812 your closet member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary First Answer

    Thank you. Maybe I just needed to hear it in a nice way with helpful pictures and reminders of what really matters instead of being told I am stupid.

    Did your MOH call you stupid?



    Anniversary
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  • Thank you for actually being nice. I was HOPING there was a way to balance what I want with also being nice, but it sounds like there may not be :( I am mature enough to know that I can't have "everything" but there's always that striving..



    Pictures WILL be perfect because these people are your best friends. You chose them because of that. Not because of the color of their lips, or their skin, or their hair. Keep yourself grounded and try to not float off into bridezilla territory.

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    PrettyGirlLost
  • @dreamergirl8812 no people on this thread called me stupid. My MOH told me that yellow washed her out and so she NEEDS red lipstick. I just wish she would be more open to finding something more natural to her lip and skin color.

    @southernbelle0915 I am trying so hard. She picked her dress and I am letting all the girls wear their own shoes and although their hair is getting done professionally I'm not going to tell them what to do. I am tryin really hard to stay grounded this one issue though is driving me a little over the edge. It's hard to be reasonable all the time! Some of these replies have helped though.
  • ShesSoColdShesSoCold bend over and I'll show ya mod
    Moderator 5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its

    @dreamergirl8812 no people on this thread called me stupid. My MOH told me that yellow washed her out and so she NEEDS red lipstick. I just wish she would be more open to finding something more natural to her lip and skin color.

    @southernbelle0915 I am trying so hard. She picked her dress and I am letting all the girls wear their own shoes and although their hair is getting done professionally I'm not going to tell them what to do. I am tryin really hard to stay grounded this one issue though is driving me a little over the edge. It's hard to be reasonable all the time! Some of these replies have helped though.

    No one called you stupid. Calm down. 

    What color lipstick did your friend wear in that one picture you guys took last summer? Oh you don't remember? That's the point.

    I get wanting nice pictures. I do. But do you want perfect pretty posed magazine pictures or do you want pictures of you and your friends on your wedding day? The more you try to force perfect pictures, the less perfect and more rigid and uncomfortable they'll look.
    Image result for someecard betting someone half your shit youll love them forever
    [Deleted User]chibiyui
  • Actually, there is a GIF up there that says "You don't have my sympathies for being so damn stupid" that I assumed was directed at me. I'm not taking it personally, I am just trying to sift the actually helpful replies from the less helpful ones. For example, the posts offering good advice for putting this in perspective, like yours. I don't want anyone to be uncomfortable (hence why I haven't picked matching shoes) but I also don't want anyone to look terribly out of place. I am overreacting but I don't want HER to look back and hate the pictures, either. I want everyone to want to show them off. 
  • ShesSoColdShesSoCold bend over and I'll show ya mod
    Moderator 5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its

    Actually, there is a GIF up there that says "You don't have my sympathies for being so damn stupid" that I assumed was directed at me. I'm not taking it personally, I am just trying to sift the actually helpful replies from the less helpful ones. For example, the posts offering good advice for putting this in perspective, like yours. I don't want anyone to be uncomfortable (hence why I haven't picked matching shoes) but I also don't want anyone to look terribly out of place. I am overreacting but I don't want HER to look back and hate the pictures, either. I want everyone to want to show them off. 

    That's @Cookie Pusher's signature. It's in all of her posts and is not directed at you, but I can see how it might look that way. 

    It's not like she wants to wear black lipstick (which, for the record, you shouldn't dictate against either). It's red. Red is a normal lipstick color. I have NO idea what shade of lipstick, or any makeup, my MOH wore. None. 
    Image result for someecard betting someone half your shit youll love them forever
  • You are probably right. Maybe the picture I have in my head of a fire-engine red is totally wrong (but I've seen her wear that color before). It's not that I think red lipstick is inherently bad or anything, I just don't think it will look right in my pictures.

    Anyway, this thread has convinced me to stop worrying about this particular issue. Maybe she will heed my advice and pick something else but if she doesn't I will let it go. I'll probably be too busy to care anyway.

    Now on to the next weird thing to worry about I guess. 
    ShesSoCold[Deleted User]zitiqueenadettma32
  • I wear bright red lipstick all year long and it does not clash with anyone. I think red lipstick is classic enough that it goes with most things.


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    Knottie34867311
  • I think you need to let this go.

    And FWIW I feel like yellow is one of those colors that I just can't wear well because I just look washed out and tired and unattractive in it.   I think I own ONE item in that color because of it.   So if you put me in a yellow dress, I'd absolutely do what I could to make myself look BETTER with make up.   And I'd do it because if I look alive and fresh, THAT will make your pictures look better than me looking sad and washed out. 
    ShesSoCold[Deleted User]PrettyGirlLost
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    edited April 2015
    I still can't get over that you think someone in red lipstick will ruin your pictures.  That would be like saying someone with red nails will ruin your pictures.  Unless your friend wears her red lipstick like Ronald McDonald you really, really, really need to let this go.  You are seriously stressing yourself out over absolutely nothing.

    ETA:  And yellow is a hard color for many people to wear and not look washed out in. Like banana said, if I had to wear yellow then I would be reworking my makeup to help reduce the washed out look that yellow gives me.

    PrettyGirlLost
  • I'm most likely wearing an emerald green dress as my wedding dress and I'm contemplating red lipstick look. I have the same colouring as Dita von Tesse, and as long as I have the right red lipstick, I look great. 

    Stop trying to micromanage your BMs, trust me, all that will do is make them want to do it more!
    PrettyGirlLost
  • levioosalevioosa Southern California member
    Eighth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers

    You are probably right. Maybe the picture I have in my head of a fire-engine red is totally wrong (but I've seen her wear that color before). It's not that I think red lipstick is inherently bad or anything, I just don't think it will look right in my pictures.


    Anyway, this thread has convinced me to stop worrying about this particular issue. Maybe she will heed my advice and pick something else but if she doesn't I will let it go. I'll probably be too busy to care anyway.

    Now on to the next weird thing to worry about I guess. 

    Actually, there is a GIF up there that says "You don't have my sympathies for being so damn stupid" that I assumed was directed at me. I'm not taking it personally, I am just trying to sift the actually helpful replies from the less helpful ones. For example, the posts offering good advice for putting this in perspective, like yours. I don't want anyone to be uncomfortable (hence why I haven't picked matching shoes) but I also don't want anyone to look terribly out of place. I am overreacting but I don't want HER to look back and hate the pictures, either. I want everyone to want to show them off. 

    You need to relax and stop worrying about details that don't matter.

    And
    that was cookiepusher's siggy, it appears in every post she makes
    automatically.  It wasn't directed at you.  A lot of us have siggys. 


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