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Wedding Recap and Withdrawal

What was a waste?

Looking back at the big day, is there anything that you stressed over, or spent money on, that in the end really didn't matter? Looking for different perspectives...

Re: What was a waste?

  • bunni727bunni727 member
    Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments 250 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2012
    As far as money spent goes, we got way too many bubbles. Our send-off was later than we had anticipated, so most of the guests left before us.  We also had tons of napkins, silverware, and plates left over, but I'd rather have too many than not enough of those and don't consider them a waste.

    I spent a bit of stress and money on a lot of things that were not necessary. Book favors, directional signs, handmade table runners, mason-jar lanterns, and centerpieces are all things that had no effect on guests' comfort or the legitimacy of our marraige. they were completely frivolous extras. But they made me happy, I could afford them, so we had them anyway.

    Here's the thing: all you need to get married is a willing FI, an officiant, a couple witnesses and a marraige liscense. If you invite guests, you need to provide them with seating, food, and drinks. Absolutely everything else is extra. Pretty, fun, super-fly, but still extra.
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  • There wasn't really much for me. I decided ahead of time that we wouldn't be getting unnecessary things like aisle runners, special linens, monogrammed napkins, or anything like that.  I made simple invitations and programs using vistaprint.com (and groupons) so we didn't spend a lot of money there. 

    I did worry a lot about and spend a lot of money on our photographer, but that was absolutely worth it! 
  • We cut out as many "extras" as possible and kept things super simple, so the only thing I can think of is our invitations--while they were awesome, I think it would have been cheaper to get some custom-designed and printed right here, instead of ordering them from the U.S. and paying a ton of shipping and customs fees.
  • We spent a fair amount of time and thought on the cake topper and ended up losing it during the "getting ready" portion of the day (that's due to the New York Giants which is another story) but I honestly never missed it or even thought about it until after the fact.  I spent SO much time putting together a detailed time line for all of our family and bridal party that in the end wasn't used/got changed so I wish I had enjoyed the days leading up to our wedding rather than stressing about the small stuff (like a way too detailed time line).  That's the thing about weddings-they're super personal and go by so fast that what seemed to be "big" almost always ends up being "small" because no one cares about anything other than celebrating you and your new DH (and you only end up caring about that fact that you're married!).  
  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    I spent too much time browsing and considering special postage stamps and toasting flutes.  In the end I didn't get anything special, so it was at least just time and not money wasted. Like Bunni, we also had too many bubbles, but that was ok b/c we sent them home with the few kids who were there. 

    I spent way too much time and money on my shoes. I looked forever for the "perfect" shoes. Because of wet grass, I ended up walking down the aisle and getting married barefoot. I didn't even put the shoes on until the reception. I wish I had just gotten the $20 ballet flats I initially planned on. 
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  • MoonLightSilver - if this MOB could have a redo PPD I would have a beluga for my MOH.  I ADORE your wedding pictures!  We are huge aquarium/museum people and I think your wedding was fabulously awesome.

    Hmm.....we have been married for 16 years.  Maybe I could do a vow renewal with an awesome dinner at an aquaruim for our 20th?
  • ljsquintzljsquintz member
    100 Comments Second Anniversary
    edited December 2012

    We spent way too much on wedding invitations.  I was overwhelmed by the thought of DIYing them, so I had the florist do them.  We paid $600 for 110 invitations, and they weren't even everything I had hoped for.  I thought they were just ok.  But we didn't have time to redo them, we sent them out about a week too late for my comfort anyway.  I was at Party City the other day and I saw simple (yet quite lovely) DIY invitations that would have cost me about $200 before postage.  That is the one thing I wish we didn't spend so much on.

    Anniversary
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-recap-withdrawal_what-was-a-waste?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:12Discussion:577e1d1f-b0f0-4f78-9c6e-3cac32103cf2Post:fa4d7053-bc51-4435-a062-64e1d8a621f9">Re: What was a waste?</a>:
    [QUOTE]MoonLightSilver - if this MOB could have a redo PPD I would have a beluga for my MOH.  I ADORE your wedding pictures!  We are huge aquarium/museum people and I think your wedding was fabulously awesome. Hmm.....we have been married for 16 years.  Maybe I could do a vow renewal with an awesome dinner at an aquaruim for our 20th?
    Posted by kmmssg[/QUOTE]

    <div>Thanks. =)  You could definitely do a vow renewal or a dinner party at an aquarium! </div>
  • Yeah, I've got a couple of years to figure out how to approach him on this one.  If I was a single girl I would definitely be wanting my wedding at an aquarium!
  • Not too much.  I would say the photo booth props because the attendant never put them out and the guest book because only like 10 people signed it.
     
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  • edited December 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-recap-withdrawal_what-was-a-waste?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:12Discussion:577e1d1f-b0f0-4f78-9c6e-3cac32103cf2Post:31155fc6-00a2-4e98-899f-d8cfc5efd385">Re: What was a waste?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Not too much.  I would say the photo booth props because the attendant never put them out and<strong> the guest book because only like 10 people signed it.</strong>
    Posted by HobokenBride2012[/QUOTE]

    <div>Ugh, this reminds me. I made an awesome guestbook with our engagement pictures, and set it all up on the table just inside the doors. Then one of my guests set out a platter that guests could sign as a guestbook, and everyone signed that instead. It's a nice gift, but it totally bothered me the day of the wedding. </div><div>
    </div><div>I really think more of my guests would have signed the guestbook if that platter wasn't there, though.</div>
  • HobokensFuryHobokensFury member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-recap-withdrawal_what-was-a-waste?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:12Discussion:577e1d1f-b0f0-4f78-9c6e-3cac32103cf2Post:7ca2db53-bc06-4f74-8014-7dfb37677d3c">Re: What was a waste?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: What was a waste? : Ugh, this reminds me. I made an awesome guestbook with our engagement pictures, and set it all up on the table just inside the doors. Then one of my guests set out a platter that guests could sign as a guestbook, and everyone signed that instead. It's a nice gift, but it totally bothered me the day of the wedding.  I really think more of my guests would have signed the guestbook if that platter wasn't there, though.
    Posted by MoonlightSilver[/QUOTE]

    OMG that totally happend to me! My landlady bought a platter that everyone signed instead.
     
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  • mattycammattycam member
    Seventh Anniversary 1000 Comments 5 Love Its
    edited December 2012

    Aside from the reception, we didn't spend that much on most things. I think we spent too much on the videographer ($1100). For the price he did a decent job but I wouldn't recommend him.

    We could have done without the video booth ($200) because it wasn't promoted enough so not a lot of people did it and the favors (photo coasters and bells). Most people left the bells or forgot the coasters. The bells we got for free and the coasters were $.89/set so we weren't upset about it.

  • I wish I hadn't spent so much money on my dress (which ended up being pretty ill-fitting because I'd lost so much weight), and I also wish I'd let myself relax more and not do so much DIY. If I had to do it over again, I would have just paid to have other people do more of the stuff for me.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-recap-withdrawal_what-was-a-waste?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:12Discussion:577e1d1f-b0f0-4f78-9c6e-3cac32103cf2Post:fa4d7053-bc51-4435-a062-64e1d8a621f9">Re: What was a waste?</a>:
    [QUOTE]MoonLightSilver - if this MOB could have a redo PPD I would have a beluga for my MOH.  I ADORE your wedding pictures!  We are huge aquarium/museum people and I think your wedding was fabulously awesome. Hmm.....we have been married for 16 years.  Maybe I could do a vow renewal with an awesome dinner at an aquaruim for our 20th?
    Posted by kmmssg[/QUOTE]

    What does PPD mean?
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  • pretty princess day.  It is basically having a do over wedding.
  • I probably spent way too much money on letterpress invitations. But they were important to me and I always dreamed of having really pretty wedding invitations that I designed myself. I loved them and I know certain people appreciated them, so that's what mattered to me. 

    The biggest waste was the stress I created for myself and the energy I spent worrying about things that didn't really matter in the long run. When I was in the moment it was hard to bring myself back down to reality that it was one day, and the rest of my life with my husband is what mattered the most. Not the menu design, the flower arrangements, what the bridesmaids wore, or the small details that most people would barely notice anyway. 
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  • Probably the invitations. Well, they weren't too expensive because we DIY'ed them, but we would've spent waaaaay less time and thought on them. They were pretty but good god. lol I think that's the only thing that I would've spent even less on.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-recap-withdrawal_what-was-a-waste?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:12Discussion:577e1d1f-b0f0-4f78-9c6e-3cac32103cf2Post:48ec2646-4619-4de2-8a86-681a78b2849b">What was a waste?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Looking back at the big day, is there anything that you stressed over, or spent money on, that in the end really didn't matter? Looking for different perspectives...
    Posted by ellie63[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>The photobooth, because are wedding photographer actually made everyone have to go online and PURCHASE their photo. I thought that it was going to be like a normal photobooth, you take your pictures, and you get them instantly. So of course, no one was going to spend $15 on a digital image of their photobooth photo.  I also wish that I didn't spend so much money on our photography. Because I still haven't gotten them back yet, because we still owe them money (I got married in July). I also think it was a waste to spend money on the D.J., they didn't play any of our songs, and I found out that one of the ceremony musicians knew a D.J. that they could've gotten for us...for free...with a smoke machine.

    </div>
  • Guest book - paid a lot for it, and hardly anyone signed it.  My mother said she didn't even know where the banquet manager put it...she never saw it.

    In retrospect, I might have skipped the floral centerpieces - they were VERY expensive, and very lovely, but I think I would have preferred to spend the money on a gown was a little nice than the one I chose.

    Also, we didn't get any feedback at all on our favors (mini-apple pies that I just HAD to have, and agonized over where to get them, and spent a lot of time packaging them the day before).  No one ever mentioned them again after the wedding, so I don't even know if people liked them. Undecided
  • The guestbook for us too.  Spent all sorts of time trying to find one.  About 6 people signed it.
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  • Ghirardelli individual chocolate squares (dark chocolate, dark chocolate + caramel, and milk chocolate) for the S'mores, b/c everyone went for the Hershey's choc bars instead. However, I only bought 5 packages of them, at $1.50 each (total sale/coupon!), and I was able to bring them all home to enjoy them w/o sharing! :)
  • edited December 2012
    If I could do it over, I would not do diy ivitations & pay more to get someone to do them. We spent two days trying to figure out how to do our invitations so I would choose to waste less time on those.

    Also, I would probably not have a guestbook, ring pillow, I would have not spent time making a seating chart because in the end people sat where they wanted to anyway because my then fiance now husband forgot the escort cards & the seating chart in his car. It turned out pretty good in the end. People tended to stay away from people they disliked & nobody fought.

    I would have spent less money on our wedding cake. My sil made an extra wedding cake because we weren't sure if the original wedding cake would be enough for everyone because of last minute invites & extra plus ones. It turned out that we had too many cake. We had nearly a whole cake left. I learned an expensive lesson that day. Everyone don't eat wedding cake & others only wanted a little slice of cake because they were too full. At the end I was telling people, to take cake home with them. It was way too much cake.

    Also, I would spend way less time obsessing about the centerpieces. I didn't notice them until half way into our reception. As well as, we had a bunch of napkins, plates, silverware, & cups left over.

    Another thing I would have done definitely is not do my bridals on the day of. I felt that it took me away from our guests. And I wanted to spend as much time with them as possible. It goes by too fast.
  • Seeing your posts reaffirms why I am so glad I only spent $12 on a guest book. Like the others it was largely ignored.

    My big waste-Spanx, I had convinced myself that I needed it-I didnt and ended up taking it off right after the ceremony. buh-bye $65

    otherwise I feel pretty good about all of our purchases.

    wedding was still under budget
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  • I took off my veil after the ceremony and put a head piece in my hair.  It was really pretty, and I really liked it, but it cost WAY too much. 

    I'm pretty frugal by nature, so when it came to my wedding dress, I was having a really hard time justifying spending so much money on a dress.  When I was trying on dresses, I became fixated on the price tags and would end up not liking dresses because I thought they were too expensive.  My mom told me over and over again that if I was going to splurge on something, it should be my dress.  She told me that it was the most important purchase of the whole day, because it would be in every single picture, and I'll be looking at those pictures for years and years down the road, so it was important that I absolutely loved the dress, no matter the cost.  Once she put it into perspective for me, I stopped focusing so much on the cost of the dress.  From that point on, when I would go to try on dresses, my mom would not let me look at the price tag, but she did give the sales ladies an idea of our general budget.  When I tried on my dress, I KNEW it was my dress, and I didn't look at the price tag at all.  The dress ended up being on sale, but it was more than I thought I would've spent.  As much as I LOVE to get a bargain, I'm glad I ended up splurging on my wedding dress.

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  • I bought tissue paper to make tissue poms for the ceremony site and ended up not setting them up.  They weren't looking how I wanted and so I scratched them last miute.  I only spent like 6 bucks but I saved a ton of time and let the space just speak for itself itn all it's glory.  Everyone LOVED the space.

    Ribbon.  I spent maybe $4 though so not too bad.  And I can re-use it.

    Favor boxes.  Most people just ate the favors and left the boxes LOL.  I wanted them though anf it gave the tables the look I wanted and I can reuse the boxes again.  But I spent too much money on them.  If I had done non-edible favors, people would have had to take the boxes home.  

    Candles: I bought candles for the tables and put personalized stickers on them.  It looked amazing but I have some left over.  I wanted people to take them home and some people didn't know they could. 

    I LOVED my guest "book' frame though.  Peopel actually signed it.  It looks amazing and once we put our wedding pic in it and hang it on the wall, I will be so happy.  Glad I didn't get a regular book.  Also people raved about my centerpieces.  My florist hit it out of the park.  

    In the end, I think I could have saved money on some (of the smaller) things but the major things were so worth it. 


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  • My daughter got great advise on a blog to make a list of all the photos she wanted and then have a bridesmaid check them off.  Unfortunately, I guess she didn't write down her mom and there was not one single picture of her and I, except for the family photo where we are standing next to each other, but no special photo.  She has several pictures of her with her MIL, her dad, her brother, the groomsmen, bridesmaids and even her makeup artist, but not one of her with me.

    When I asked her if she noticed there were no special photos of us her reply was that she paid the photographer to take pictures of the bride and groom and that is exactly what she got.  We have a very close relationship so it's not because we don't get along.

    Am I overreacting to be hurt about this?
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