Hows the planning going?

metzlerhj

Hey everyone!

So, I am a bride that is getting married in June of this year, so I am getting into the wedding planning for the little, detailed things.  I was wondering…does anyone else think the wedding planning is stressful? Personally, I think it is very stressful,and I have noticed it affects how I talk to my Fiancé. (I get snippy or short with him) Does anyone else experience something similar to this with their fiancé? 

Thanks.

ShesSoCold

I didn't think it was stressful. It was fun. But after months of constant wedding talk, H and I planned one day a week where we wouldn't talk wedding. At all. Which evolved I to planning one night a week where we would talk wedding, and no wedding the other days.

MadHops21

I have been engaged for 3 years and have had plenty of time to plan. 

Wedding planning shouldn't be stressful and cause fights. You and FI should be able to communicate through the planning and work together on this. There are times that FI doesn't care as much as I do, but it doesn't change the way I communicate to him. 

There are times when parents get too involved and shove opinions around (if you read other posts here), but it should not affect your relationship with your fiance to the point where you change the way you talk to him. 

huskypuppy14

metzlerhj said:

Hey everyone!

So, I am a bride that is getting married in June of this year, so I am getting into the wedding planning for the little, detailed things.  I was wondering…does anyone else think the wedding planning is stressful? Personally, I think it is very stressful,and I have noticed it affects how I talk to my Fiancé. (I get snippy or short with him) Does anyone else experience something similar to this with their fiancé? 

Thanks.

I was married last June, and bought a house at the same time. I didn't find wedding planning stressful, I found it fun. 

Are you doing a lot of DIY? I didn't do really any DIY (just programs and escort cards). I know my strengths, and crafty projects and decorations is not one of them.

What is stressing you out?

larrygaga

I'm getting married June 6th and I don't really have stress from it, other than the drama that my FMIL creates. There were a ton of problems last year when we were picking venues, and it felt like everyone was against me for the fun of it. I was sticking to budget and numbers and everyone else was trying to choose a place with their dick.

Little details are easy IMO, but only if you are laid back. I'm lucky, though, and I have a friend and a few sisters who are really into my wedding. They respect our ideas for what we want that day, but really want to help with the DIY and planning out the logicistics. Also, my mom is really into weddings. 

I ended up just picking things and it became a group effort. My FI ended up not really caring much for the wedding planning, but had a few little things that were really important to him. He got to dictate the few little things.

My wedding coordinator told me I was the best bride she ever worked with because I'm "laid back and ready for anything". I wear that compliment like a badge of honor.

IMO, as long as everyone is well fed and well watered and FI and I have a good time and get married, nothing else matters.

climbingsingle

I honestly didn't find it all that stressful.

NowIAmSyp

I am just under 6 months out, and I am having a blast.  My FI and I had one budget disagreement, but it's been smooth sailing- and fun.  Now my mother on the other hand... she's killing me, lol.

I agree with PP's- make sure it's not all about the wedding ALL the time.  Take time off, do fun things with your FI, have regular date nights, etc.  If it's really THAT stressful, did you consider hiring a wedding planner?

theartistformerlyknownas

Nope, I thought it was fun. Actually getting things done in the last few days was a bit nerve-wracking, but the planning itself was a breeze. My H and I didn't fight about it at all.

LadyMillil

I found the last few months stressful because my H was laid off unexpectedly during that time. This caused our totally affordable wedding to become an unnecessary luxury. Debating cancelling the wedding, making huge budget cuts and re-planning things for cheaper options was stressful. I doubt I would have been stressed if DH was employed during that time.

katiekessler123

I actually thought wedding planning was fun, though as a teacher with an August wedding, I had about 2 months of time off before my wedding to really go wild with planning. My mom and sister also really helped and that made it a lot of fun, too.  My husband and I didn't fight about anything really. We both had things that we were interested in being more hands on with.  For example, he did a lot with the music selection, bc he loves music and actually used to DJ weddings as a side job. He also was very interested in helping with food choices etc.  I was more into the smaller details like centerpieces, invitations, etc. Overall, I enjoyed wedding planning!

MizLiz3

I'm just a few days away from 6 months out, and it's been pretty easy.  My FI and I have had different "visions" but we've found ways to work around those differences.  He mostly has no strong opinion, and when I need a deciding vote I bring him 2-4 options and ask what he likes.  I tried to do the thing where we set aside a certain time to do wedding planning, but he didn't like that approach.  Instead I wait until I need an opinion on a few things and then we quickly work through that in 10 minutes and we're done.  I'm sure as we get closer it could get more stressful, but also more exciting with all the showers and parties!

erinkelsey3

I'm five months out and I'm feeling the stress. We're taking a very DIY route (it ended up being the most affordable option for us) and it seems like there is a never ending list of things to do and decisions to make. I am horrible at making decisions, but nobody else is gonna do it.

I think it's okay to be a little stressed. Wedding planning is not everyone's cup of tea. Try not to take it out on your fiance but don't be afraid to ask for help if you feel overwhelmed.

charlottesmom0626

I'm not stressed about the wedding...

I planned things early in the engagement and now I'm just kind of waiting, but people keep asking me if I'm "ready" or what I'm working on, or if I'm stressed and I keep getting worried that I somehow missed a bunch of stuff that I'm supposed to be doing things that no one told me about? 

JCbride2015

My job is really stressful which makes planning stressful purely because I don't have much time to do it. But the planning itself is really fun actually. I enjoy discussing the wedding with Fi and picking out what we are going to have. We are just under two months out and I can't believe how quickly it is approaching! So... Nope, not stressful. Job and family stuff can be stressful. Party planning should not be so stressful. What is making this hard on you? What are your expectations?

pinkcow13

Yea I personally have found it fun. Yes there have been stressful elements, but that's normal. What caused you to get snippy with your FI? Like what specifically is stressing you out?

chloe97

I find it stressful and fun at the same time. I feel like being a bride/groom is all a sudden like being CEO -- you have a ton of people asking you questions and though lots of people will give you input and advice, ultimately you are the one who has to make the decision about the venue, the ceremony, the colors, the food, the songs, etc. My FI is great about wedding planning but he has so few opinions on things and so I feel the stress of making the right decisions. Trying to balance cultures and navigate family dynamics is really hard.

Ultimately, I just want a tasteful wedding that is fun and relaxed and that isn't going to piss any one off. I get stressed because I know there are choices that we've made that my mom doesn't like, my FMIL does't like, my sister-in-law doesn't like, my MOH doesn't like, etc, etc and I find it really hard to be confident in our choices when I know people are questioning them.

In terms of dealing with the actual planning- I find it fun. I just wish that I didn't have so many people with such strong opinions in my life!  

luckya23

I think it's difficult too.

I don't like all the decisions.

hellohkb

It's fun and can be stressful. We purposely gave ourselves a long engagement so we could easily plan everything.

The moment it got to be overwhelming (I dislike being in charge of so many decisions) I stepped away and then later went back to whatever it was I was doing after a week or so.

kvruns

I find it stressful to an extent. I'm not someone who gets too worked up about stuff but I've been stressed by my FI who claims to not have opinions until I pick something he doesn't like then it's a pain.

charlieyankee03

I'm getting married June 20th and I don't really find it all that stressful either. My fiance is working across the country so it's been hard not having him around, but we haven't been fighting about anything and decisions are easily made. 

He doesn't care much about the little details, so I usually narrow down the options and let him have the final say. We're not doing much in the way of DIY, so really the only hard part is planning a wedding in DC while living in Atlanta with my fiance spending most of the week in San Francisco.

And trying to lose weight so I don't look like a cow in my dress

julieanne912

I don't find it too stressful, but I would if I didn't have my awesome MOH.  She's a former wedding planner and is LOVING this, so she's doing a lot of the work, voluntarily (like she does it before I even have a chance to tell her no).  She hand made my Save the Dates and is planning on doing the same for the invites (although I will convince her to let me send them to a printer so she's not doing that herself).  She's also doing it for her SIL right now too.  

I'm a very detail oriented person and tend to get hung up on little stuff that probably does not matter, so she's also been good at reeling me in.  

What about the planning do you think is stressing you out?  Little stuff or big stuff?  When I get stressed out at work I also tend to lash out a bit, so I've been working at reeling that in.  Think of it that way... you wouldn't yell at someone at work when you're stressed, would you?  Don't do it to your FI either.