Ughhh here comes Bridezilla.

mikenberger

I am in a wedding in June. There are 3 other bridesmaids beyond myself. The bride is also in my wedding. I've tried to lead by example with her:

She asks me "What do you want us to do with our hair?" "It's your hair and your money. I don't care. I don't think a fruit basket on your head will go with your dress, but if you're inspired and you fit through the doorway, sure, why not?" 

Her: "What about our shoes?" 

Me: "Your dresses are floor length. Nobody is going to see your shoes anyways."

Her: "How many people did you invite?" 

Me: "Um, around 225. But the venue holds 300, so we'll have plenty of room." 

Her: "Shoot. I invited 180. Venue holds 140, but you know not everybody is going to show up." 

Her: "I invited 18 to the bachelorette party, but only 12 will fit in the cabins. The MOH is freaking out."

Me: "Well, what are you going to do if 14 show up?"

Her: "We'll just squish into the cabins. It'll be okay It's only 3 days. 

This is her latest shenannery and I just don't know if I can keep my mouth shut.

Her: "My sister dyed her hair. It's FUCKING UGLY and I hate it. I told her she needed to let me know when I can make her hair appointment to change it. I don't care if she changes it back, but it's going to be a different color for the wedding." (Sister's hair went from a dirty blonde to platinum blonde.)

Me: "Well, it's really her hair. Is it that big of a deal?"

Her: "It's my fucking wedding and they're MY pictures I have to look at forever. (MOH) also asked if she could dye her hair, I told her "Not too blonde." And she went too blonde. She'll be changing that before the wedding. I'm not having that in my wedding." 

I just couldn't believe it. She's made some other extremely outlandish and rude demands of the bridal party (two bridal showers with overlapping guest lists that she planned - an OOT bachelorette party that she planned but expected us to pay for etc.) So I don't know WHY the hair thing is making me crazy. Or why I think I can change her thoughts on it. I just want both of our weddings to be done and over. Ugh.

princessgracekelly

mikenberger said:

I am in a wedding in June. There are 3 other bridesmaids beyond myself. The bride is also in my wedding. I've tried to lead by example with her:

She asks me "What do you want us to do with our hair?" "It's your hair and your money. I don't care. I don't think a fruit basket on your head will go with your dress, but if you're inspired and you fit through the doorway, sure, why not?" 

Her: "What about our shoes?" 

Me: "Your dresses are floor length. Nobody is going to see your shoes anyways."

Her: "How many people did you invite?" 

Me: "Um, around 225. But the venue holds 300, so we'll have plenty of room." 

Her: "Shoot. I invited 180. Venue holds 140, but you know not everybody is going to show up." 

Her: "I invited 18 to the bachelorette party, but only 12 will fit in the cabins. The MOH is freaking out."

Me: "Well, what are you going to do if 14 show up?"

Her: "We'll just squish into the cabins. It'll be okay It's only 3 days. 

This is her latest shenannery and I just don't know if I can keep my mouth shut.

Her: "My sister dyed her hair. It's FUCKING UGLY and I hate it. I told her she needed to let me know when I can make her hair appointment to change it. I don't care if she changes it back, but it's going to be a different color for the wedding." (Sister's hair went from a dirty blonde to platinum blonde.)

Me: "Well, it's really her hair. Is it that big of a deal?"

Her: "It's my fucking wedding and they're MY pictures I have to look at forever. (MOH) also asked if she could dye her hair, I told her "Not too blonde." And she went too blonde. She'll be changing that before the wedding. I'm not having that in my wedding." 

I just couldn't believe it. She's made some other extremely outlandish and rude demands of the bridal party (two bridal showers with overlapping guest lists that she planned - an OOT bachelorette party that she planned but expected us to pay for etc.) So I don't know WHY the hair thing is making me crazy. Or why I think I can change her thoughts on it. I just want both of our weddings to be done and over. Ugh.

"Won't someone think of the pictures?" is the bridezilla's

redoryx

I think the hair probably bothers you because it's just so personal. Like, fine, a stupid dress that you'll never wear again and a pair of shoes you'll probably never wear again and you suffer through a stupid 3 day weekend stuffed in a cabin but then you probably won't ever have to see those women ever again or whatever.

But hair is a commitment that a woman makes to make herself look good or feel better about herself and who the fuck cares if she's "too blonde" (WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?) and I think we put up with a bride dictating dresses and stuff because it's all stuff we can take off and get rid of but our hair is our fucking hair and we are the ones who get to decide that shit no matter what some stupid bridezilla thinks about her pictures. 

flantastic

I would contact those two girls, if you can, and tell them to stand strong. "Your hair is your hair and it will be what it is for the damn pictures." That would be what I would do. I don't think talking sense into the bride will happen.

ETA: Looks like you'll be opening up space in that cabin by not attending that 3-day disaster... or is that also just what I would do?

banana468

I think that would bother me exactly because she's being demanding about a person's body for one day.   It's also something that to me would be the straw that broke the camel's back.   It would be a really tough conversation and I HATE confrontation but I'd probably bite the bullet on that one to tell her that she's high off her ass if she thinks she's being OK.

mikenberger

flantastic said:

I would contact those two girls, if you can, and tell them to stand strong. "Your hair is your hair and it will be what it is for the damn pictures." That would be what I would do. I don't think talking sense into the bride will happen.

ETA: Looks like you'll be opening up space in that cabin by not attending that 3-day disaster... or is that also just what I would do?

I am not attending the bachelorette party. I didn't want to commit to 3 days of insanity. And she's requiring the bridal party PAY for EVERYBODY. HAHAHAHAH. No. Not even a little bit. And for all of us to take off two days of work. Which is bullshit. 

Heffalump

I feel like there should be a genuine PSA telling brides that they're really not going to look at their pictures that much, especially after the first few months.  (Is this true, or is it just me?)  I looked at all of them (a bunch of times) when our photographer posted the proofs, I got some prints, got a photo book, and that was pretty much that.  There are a couple of framed prints in our house, but a) they're just of us, no BM hair involved, and b) they've been there so long that they've faded into the mental background.  We went to three weddings the spring that my daughter turned 3, so she developed a temporary fascination with our photo book.  And then she moved on, and since we moved, I'm not even 100% sure where it is at the moment.

My point being, unless I am an outlier, people get so wound up about the photos they "have to look at FOREVER" and in reality it will be maybe a dozen times, 90% of which will be shortly after you're married.  Perspective.  

TrixieJess

mikenberger said:

I am in a wedding in June. There are 3 other bridesmaids beyond myself. The bride is also in my wedding. I've tried to lead by example with her:

She asks me "What do you want us to do with our hair?" "It's your hair and your money. I don't care. I don't think a fruit basket on your head will go with your dress, but if you're inspired and you fit through the doorway, sure, why not?" 

Her: "What about our shoes?" 

Me: "Your dresses are floor length. Nobody is going to see your shoes anyways."

Her: "How many people did you invite?" 

Me: "Um, around 225. But the venue holds 300, so we'll have plenty of room." 

Her: "Shoot. I invited 180. Venue holds 140, but you know not everybody is going to show up." 

Her: "I invited 18 to the bachelorette party, but only 12 will fit in the cabins. The MOH is freaking out."

Me: "Well, what are you going to do if 14 show up?"

Her: "We'll just squish into the cabins. It'll be okay It's only 3 days. 

This is her latest shenannery and I just don't know if I can keep my mouth shut.

Her: "My sister dyed her hair. It's FUCKING UGLY and I hate it. I told her she needed to let me know when I can make her hair appointment to change it. I don't care if she changes it back, but it's going to be a different color for the wedding." (Sister's hair went from a dirty blonde to platinum blonde.)

Me: "Well, it's really her hair. Is it that big of a deal?"

Her: "It's my fucking wedding and they're MY pictures I have to look at forever. (MOH) also asked if she could dye her hair, I told her "Not too blonde." And she went too blonde. She'll be changing that before the wedding. I'm not having that in my wedding." 

I just couldn't believe it. She's made some other extremely outlandish and rude demands of the bridal party (two bridal showers with overlapping guest lists that she planned - an OOT bachelorette party that she planned but expected us to pay for etc.) So I don't know WHY the hair thing is making me crazy. Or why I think I can change her thoughts on it. I just want both of our weddings to be done and over. Ugh.

I was MOH in a wedding and the Bride told us that she wanted us to have our hair long enough so that we could all wear it up. My hair was shoulder length at the time and blonde. She told me I had to change my hair colour to something a little more "normal" (I'm a natural Auburn). I cut my hair to my chin, my bangs long and blonde the rest of my hair several shades of red. It looked great! (I was starting University after the wedding and it fit my style.) 

The bride was so pissed at me. I told her that if she hadn't said anything to me about my hair, I would have kept it long through the wedding and coloured it back to normal until after. Someone should let her know that if she doesn't make a big deal about it, no one else will either.

littlepep

Heffalump said:

I feel like there should be a genuine PSA telling brides that they're really not going to look at their pictures that much, especially after the first few months.  (Is this true, or is it just me?)  I looked at all of them (a bunch of times) when our photographer posted the proofs, I got some prints, got a photo book, and that was pretty much that.  There are a couple of framed prints in our house, but a) they're just of us, no BM hair involved, and b) they've been there so long that they've faded into the mental background.  We went to three weddings the spring that my daughter turned 3, so she developed a temporary fascination with our photo book.  And then she moved on, and since we moved, I'm not even 100% sure where it is at the moment.

My point being, unless I am an outlier, people get so wound up about the photos they "have to look at FOREVER" and in reality it will be maybe a dozen times, 90% of which will be shortly after you're married.  Perspective.  

Besides, if you hate the way your bridal party looks, there's always photoshop, right?!

thisismynickname2

littlepep said:

Heffalump said:

I feel like there should be a genuine PSA telling brides that they're really not going to look at their pictures that much, especially after the first few months.  (Is this true, or is it just me?)  I looked at all of them (a bunch of times) when our photographer posted the proofs, I got some prints, got a photo book, and that was pretty much that.  There are a couple of framed prints in our house, but a) they're just of us, no BM hair involved, and b) they've been there so long that they've faded into the mental background.  We went to three weddings the spring that my daughter turned 3, so she developed a temporary fascination with our photo book.  And then she moved on, and since we moved, I'm not even 100% sure where it is at the moment.

My point being, unless I am an outlier, people get so wound up about the photos they "have to look at FOREVER" and in reality it will be maybe a dozen times, 90% of which will be shortly after you're married.  Perspective.  

Besides, if you hate the way your bridal party looks, there's always photoshop, right?!

Hahahaha. I was actually going to say that black & white photos are very elegant and would certainly counteract any "too blonde!"

KatieinBkln

flantastic said:

I would contact those two girls, if you can, and tell them to stand strong. "Your hair is your hair and it will be what it is for the damn pictures." That would be what I would do. I don't think talking sense into the bride will happen.

ETA: Looks like you'll be opening up space in that cabin by not attending that 3-day disaster... or is that also just what I would do?

I am not attending the bachelorette party. I didn't want to commit to 3 days of insanity. And she's requiring the bridal party PAY for EVERYBODY. HAHAHAHAH. No. Not even a little bit. And for all of us to take off two days of work. Which is bullshit. 

She sounds great.

How are you in her wedding? I wouldn't want to be in her life.

mikenberger

KatieinBkln said:

flantastic said:

I would contact those two girls, if you can, and tell them to stand strong. "Your hair is your hair and it will be what it is for the damn pictures." That would be what I would do. I don't think talking sense into the bride will happen.

ETA: Looks like you'll be opening up space in that cabin by not attending that 3-day disaster... or is that also just what I would do?

I am not attending the bachelorette party. I didn't want to commit to 3 days of insanity. And she's requiring the bridal party PAY for EVERYBODY. HAHAHAHAH. No. Not even a little bit. And for all of us to take off two days of work. Which is bullshit. 

She sounds great.

How are you in her wedding? I wouldn't want to be in her life.

The groom is one of my best good friends and I met her through him. And the groom is also the best good friend of my FI (and both of them are in our wedding a month prior to theirs) Shockingly though, she does not behave at all like this in reference to my wedding. She's tried to overstep her bounds once and that was the end of that. Sadly though, this will probably be the beginning of the end with our friendship. She's made it pretty clear that they will be having babies very soon and only interested in hanging out with those that have children. 

augsum15

Someone should punch her in the face.