Groom's Guests

willthiswork

Looking for some advice.  

We're in the last week of our reply window and my FI's friends just. aren't. coming.  Sent a STD, plenty of notice, etc.  The few we've heard from have declined and the others haven't made any indication that they're planning on coming so he's "preparing for no one to come."  This is a guy that goes to every wedding, sends a gift, keeps up with people, shows up.  There's no reason (and I know there doesn't have to be) that folks aren't coming, they just aren't.  Any suggestions on how to lift his spirits a bit on this? 

Jen4948

Wow. Yeah, that's hurtful. True, he's not entitled to expect them to come or even an explanation for why they're declining, but it's very cold. Maybe, if none of them show up, he needs to reevaluate his friendships with them and stop being there for them if he has reason to believed they're taking him for granted.

I guess what I'd do is 2 things:
1) Make your alone time with him as enjoyable as possible
2) Make him as comfortable and happy as possible with the guests from your side.

CMGragain

You could make some phone calls to the invitees who haven't responded and ask them if they are planning on attending.  It may just be case of lazy guys who didn't send the response card.

ConcreteTumbleWeed

I'm sorry for your fiance.  I would be down too.  I agree with Jen4948.  Maybe you can do something special at the wedding for him, like a song or something that let's him focus on the relationship you have together?

novella1186

This is happening to FI too. He only invited maybe 5 or 6 friends and all of them declined. When he got the last decline, he got really sad and said "Aw, no one is coming." 

But all 6 of his GMs are really close childhood friends of his, so I reminded him that all those guys will be there, and it's going to be awesome. Plus, all my friends and cousins adore him and love to hang out/drink with him, and he's gotten pretty close to a lot of them so he's excited to see them. There are still silver linings. 

I think you should remind your FI of all the good things that are going on so he doesn't focus on the people who declined. Call the ones who haven't RSVPd yet. Maybe some of them are still gonna make it. And maybe do something extra nice for your FI to cheer him up a bit-- take him to dinner at his favorite place, or pick up a 6 pack of his favorite beer, or something like that. 

thisismynickname2

For the ones that haven't yet responded, I agree with CMG that he needs to just call them. That's what anyone should do if you haven't received a reply card after the deadline. It's not just a guy thing, but people just forget; also, cards get lost in the mail.

Basing this question after a thread in Chit Chat-- your wedding day isn't the same day as a major sporting event, is it?  Also, is it a Friday or Sunday? Are you getting a lot of declines or is the acceptance rate just lopsided with his friends on the negative side? 

Other than that, everyone else is right- there are silver linings and focus on what's going to be awesome- getting married! 

littlepep

It's very possible that some of them haven't RSVPed. Some people are forgetful with stuff like that. 

I would remind him that yall are still getting married and it will still be a good time no matter. I know it sucks when people aren't able to attend, but at the end of the day you two are the only ones who matter!

huskypuppy14

You still have a week. Wait until your RSVP deadline and then contact the people that haven't responded.

aphrodite0869

We didn't have this particular problem but we literally had to beg the people we knew were coming to send them back.  They assumed because they told us that they were coming, that is was enough confirmation. 

I don't have a lot of people coming from my side other than my family.  It is a little disheartening but I know that there are people who support us on his side and I am ok with that.  This day is about me and him, not about who comes.  If people can't or won't, they are the ones missing out on a great opportunity to spend time with us and get some free food and alcohol (a positive spin you can try with him)