Honeymoon Nightmares

hellohkb

I was browsing through Jezebel when I saw this article. They're gearing up for a new travel section of their website and wanted people to post in the comments about any honeymoon disasters they had. This was really interesting (and kind of sad/horrifying) to read. They ranged from embarrassing moments to WTF situations like sharting in bed and ruining their expensive wedding lingerie, being drunk while getting locked out of the hotel room naked, or a guest spreading MRSA at the wedding reception. 

http://itheedread.jezebel.com/honeymoon-horror-stories-lets-hear-em-1696169002?utm_campaign=socialflow_jezebel_facebook&utm_source=jezebel_facebook&utm_medium=socialflow

Anyone have any stories to share?  

climbingsingle

My first honeymoon with my ex-husband: he lost his wedding ring in the pool within 5 minutes, I got sun poisoning. Oh, and I realized I wasn't in love with him. But honestly, that was no where near as bad as some of those stories. Holy shitballs.

blabla89

I had to stop reading. It's making me paranoid that something terrible is going to happen on our HM and I can't handle that right now.

mikenberger

blabla89 said:

I had to stop reading. It's making me paranoid that something terrible is going to happen on our HM and I can't handle that right now.

I had to stop reading too. Surely I can't come back with some random strange disease on a trip to Mexico. SURELY. 

climbingsingle

blabla89 said:

I had to stop reading. It's making me paranoid that something terrible is going to happen on our HM and I can't handle that right now.

If it makes you feel any better, my H and I had the most amazing honeymoon last year. We had no problems whatsoever. 

katiekessler123

We had no problems at all on our honeymoon- it was a dream vacation!  I wouldn't spend any time worrying about it..just look forward to it!

minttobemrsb

blabla89 said:

I had to stop reading. It's making me paranoid that something terrible is going to happen on our HM and I can't handle that right now.

Me too! These are all of the things that kept me up at night before I convinced FI that I didn't want to leave the country. 

Crossing my fingers for a good HM!

jenna8984

Ummm this comment wins for saddest thing I have ever read...

"I brought pretty and sexy lingerie for the wedding night, and couldn't wait to show it off for my new husband. I'd never had such sweet little things to wear before in my life! I was anticipating so much romance and lovemaking and all the things a newlywed couple would revel in. Well, my husband had brought his idea of the best thing ever, which was his fly tying kit. I had on my most fetching sexy items, but he was bent over the fly tying vise and didn't even look up. He was anticipating the next day's fishing outing. We were staying in Yellowstone Park at Lake, so there was no tv, phone or cell available, nothing else to distract myself with, and I pretty much just felt dumb and sad while he was having the greatest time tying flies. I fell asleep in my untouched pretty under garments. The next day we went fishing, and I caught a cutthroat on one of the flies he had tied, and he was so happy, felt that was better than sex, I guess. Later we drove down to Island Park, Idaho and stayed in a place he promised would be wonderful, but the power went out, the toilet broke and the whole place smelled like pot. He loved it because it was right beside the Henry's Fork, another classic fishery. If you ever drive through there and see an old, defunct and very sad motel called the A something (now closed for many years), that's the place my hero took me to. I guess I imagined our trip to Yellowstone and the surrounding area to be quite different for a honeymoon. He didn't say it was just going to be his fishing trip and I would simply tag along. I'm a great angler myself, and I liked the fishing too... I just thought there would be priority on the sex/love/marriage/couple joy thing. Throughout our marriage, he continued like this, and I didn't figure out how to ask for something else in a way that wouldn't make him angry and defensive. We split after 12 years, and he died a little after that. I still feel frustrated that we didn't make it better, and that he didn't see me as someone to be cherished more than his hobby. Some people would have run from that weird sexless honeymoon, but I kept hoping he would love me. I still don't understand what that was all about. Seventeen years later, I'm still sad about it all."

mikenberger

jenna8984 said:

Ummm this comment wins for saddest thing I have ever read...

"I brought pretty and sexy lingerie for the wedding night, and couldn't wait to show it off for my new husband. I'd never had such sweet little things to wear before in my life! I was anticipating so much romance and lovemaking and all the things a newlywed couple would revel in. Well, my husband had brought his idea of the best thing ever, which was his fly tying kit. I had on my most fetching sexy items, but he was bent over the fly tying vise and didn't even look up. He was anticipating the next day's fishing outing. We were staying in Yellowstone Park at Lake, so there was no tv, phone or cell available, nothing else to distract myself with, and I pretty much just felt dumb and sad while he was having the greatest time tying flies. I fell asleep in my untouched pretty under garments. The next day we went fishing, and I caught a cutthroat on one of the flies he had tied, and he was so happy, felt that was better than sex, I guess. Later we drove down to Island Park, Idaho and stayed in a place he promised would be wonderful, but the power went out, the toilet broke and the whole place smelled like pot. He loved it because it was right beside the Henry's Fork, another classic fishery. If you ever drive through there and see an old, defunct and very sad motel called the A something (now closed for many years), that's the place my hero took me to. I guess I imagined our trip to Yellowstone and the surrounding area to be quite different for a honeymoon. He didn't say it was just going to be his fishing trip and I would simply tag along. I'm a great angler myself, and I liked the fishing too... I just thought there would be priority on the sex/love/marriage/couple joy thing. Throughout our marriage, he continued like this, and I didn't figure out how to ask for something else in a way that wouldn't make him angry and defensive. We split after 12 years, and he died a little after that. I still feel frustrated that we didn't make it better, and that he didn't see me as someone to be cherished more than his hobby. Some people would have run from that weird sexless honeymoon, but I kept hoping he would love me. I still don't understand what that was all about. Seventeen years later, I'm still sad about it all."

Oh man. I need a drink after reading that. Dang.

Maggie0829

climbingwife said:

My first honeymoon with my ex-husband: he lost his wedding ring in the pool within 5 minutes, I got sun poisoning. Oh, and I realized I wasn't in love with him. But honestly, that was no where near as bad as some of those stories. Holy shitballs.

My H had both of these happen to him on our HM.  Luckily I was able to locate his ring at the bottom of the ocean, but he did get sun poisoning so that made for a fun flight back home.

My one friend was miserable the whole time on her HM.  She has a very sensitive stomach and was basically sick for the entire week.  She said that she just pushed through it but that she was really ready to come home after like a day.

And then another acquaintance of mine had a minor hurricane come through on the second day of their 10 day HM.  Their room flooded and the power went out for a bit, but she said that the resort upgraded their room and that the weather was gorgeous the rest of the time they were there.

Just like with everything in life, shit happens.

emcme22

mikenberger said:

jenna8984 said:

Ummm this comment wins for saddest thing I have ever read...

"I brought pretty and sexy lingerie for the wedding night, and couldn't wait to show it off for my new husband. I'd never had such sweet little things to wear before in my life! I was anticipating so much romance and lovemaking and all the things a newlywed couple would revel in. Well, my husband had brought his idea of the best thing ever, which was his fly tying kit. I had on my most fetching sexy items, but he was bent over the fly tying vise and didn't even look up. He was anticipating the next day's fishing outing. We were staying in Yellowstone Park at Lake, so there was no tv, phone or cell available, nothing else to distract myself with, and I pretty much just felt dumb and sad while he was having the greatest time tying flies. I fell asleep in my untouched pretty under garments. The next day we went fishing, and I caught a cutthroat on one of the flies he had tied, and he was so happy, felt that was better than sex, I guess. Later we drove down to Island Park, Idaho and stayed in a place he promised would be wonderful, but the power went out, the toilet broke and the whole place smelled like pot. He loved it because it was right beside the Henry's Fork, another classic fishery. If you ever drive through there and see an old, defunct and very sad motel called the A something (now closed for many years), that's the place my hero took me to. I guess I imagined our trip to Yellowstone and the surrounding area to be quite different for a honeymoon. He didn't say it was just going to be his fishing trip and I would simply tag along. I'm a great angler myself, and I liked the fishing too... I just thought there would be priority on the sex/love/marriage/couple joy thing. Throughout our marriage, he continued like this, and I didn't figure out how to ask for something else in a way that wouldn't make him angry and defensive. We split after 12 years, and he died a little after that. I still feel frustrated that we didn't make it better, and that he didn't see me as someone to be cherished more than his hobby. Some people would have run from that weird sexless honeymoon, but I kept hoping he would love me. I still don't understand what that was all about. Seventeen years later, I'm still sad about it all."

Oh man. I need a drink after reading that. Dang.

Believe it or not that one actually gets worse.  Someone asked her if they ended up having sex at all during the honeymoon and this was the response.  

"No, and I went 8 years without sex during that marriage. Looking back at it now, I can't believe I went 8 years from ages 25 to 33 with no touch. I remember with great clarity the one time a man at the auto dealership touched my elbow as I went through a door, and another time when a dinner guest said goodnight and kissed me on the cheek. I would think about those things, those little kind touches, and wish for the basic human kindness that led those people to do it."

OliveOilsMom

My cousin and his then wife had a hurricane role through Cancun while on their honeymoon.  It was pretty bad, they were stuck there as no one could get in or out at the airport.  Their hotel was evacuated, so they had to stay in a designated shelter.  I don't recall how long they were stuck there though, this was around 7 years ago now.

That fly fishing honeymoon story is so sad.  Did she think the affection and the little touches she wanted would magically start after they married?  I hope she has at least learned its important to talk with your partner about all aspects of your life together.

climbingsingle

emcme22 said:

mikenberger said:

jenna8984 said:

Ummm this comment wins for saddest thing I have ever read...

"I brought pretty and sexy lingerie for the wedding night, and couldn't wait to show it off for my new husband. I'd never had such sweet little things to wear before in my life! I was anticipating so much romance and lovemaking and all the things a newlywed couple would revel in. Well, my husband had brought his idea of the best thing ever, which was his fly tying kit. I had on my most fetching sexy items, but he was bent over the fly tying vise and didn't even look up. He was anticipating the next day's fishing outing. We were staying in Yellowstone Park at Lake, so there was no tv, phone or cell available, nothing else to distract myself with, and I pretty much just felt dumb and sad while he was having the greatest time tying flies. I fell asleep in my untouched pretty under garments. The next day we went fishing, and I caught a cutthroat on one of the flies he had tied, and he was so happy, felt that was better than sex, I guess. Later we drove down to Island Park, Idaho and stayed in a place he promised would be wonderful, but the power went out, the toilet broke and the whole place smelled like pot. He loved it because it was right beside the Henry's Fork, another classic fishery. If you ever drive through there and see an old, defunct and very sad motel called the A something (now closed for many years), that's the place my hero took me to. I guess I imagined our trip to Yellowstone and the surrounding area to be quite different for a honeymoon. He didn't say it was just going to be his fishing trip and I would simply tag along. I'm a great angler myself, and I liked the fishing too... I just thought there would be priority on the sex/love/marriage/couple joy thing. Throughout our marriage, he continued like this, and I didn't figure out how to ask for something else in a way that wouldn't make him angry and defensive. We split after 12 years, and he died a little after that. I still feel frustrated that we didn't make it better, and that he didn't see me as someone to be cherished more than his hobby. Some people would have run from that weird sexless honeymoon, but I kept hoping he would love me. I still don't understand what that was all about. Seventeen years later, I'm still sad about it all."

Oh man. I need a drink after reading that. Dang.

Believe it or not that one actually gets worse.  Someone asked her if they ended up having sex at all during the honeymoon and this was the response.  

"No, and I went 8 years without sex during that marriage. Looking back at it now, I can't believe I went 8 years from ages 25 to 33 with no touch. I remember with great clarity the one time a man at the auto dealership touched my elbow as I went through a door, and another time when a dinner guest said goodnight and kissed me on the cheek. I would think about those things, those little kind touches, and wish for the basic human kindness that led those people to do it."

That is heartbreaking. 

sarawifenow

Wow some of these stories! I feel really bad for those folks!

 

H and I only had one mishap on our honeymoon. We decided to take a cab to a small town about 20 minutes away from where we were staying. We spent the day wandering and shopping and overall it was wonderful. When we were ready to come home, we realized that neither of us had cell service. It took us 2 hours to find somewhere we could use the phone to call a cab to take back to our hotel. Everything turned out just fine in the end, though!

novella1186

mikenberger said:

blabla89 said:

I had to stop reading. It's making me paranoid that something terrible is going to happen on our HM and I can't handle that right now.

I had to stop reading too. Surely I can't come back with some random strange disease on a trip to Mexico. SURELY. 

Yep I can't even manage to click on the link. It's bad enough that I'm terrified of flying and that recent plane crash was the airline that we're flying to Italy with for our HM. 

levioosa

Bahaha, "toga of shame."  I love it. 

MyNameIsNot

Our honeymoon was beautiful and fantastic. 

The part where our apartment got broken into while we were gone was the nightmare. 

flutteringinfl

Just read one by a girl whose husband had cut himself accidentally on their honeymoon. But it was okay, because the cash from their honeyfund covered the hospital bill...