How do I tactfully nag my BMs to get their dress already?

mountaingirl8

Viczaesar said:

mountaingirl8 said:

Let me guess - you've been "tactfully nagging" your bridesmaids to get their dresses for months?

I'm definitely nowhere near the bridesmaid dress shopping stage of planning, but that's beside the point. Just because I wouldn't handle this situation in the same way as OP doesn't mean it is acceptable to be completely nasty towards her. 

mikenberger

mountaingirl8 said:

Viczaesar said:

mountaingirl8 said:

Let me guess - you've been "tactfully nagging" your bridesmaids to get their dresses for months?

I'm definitely nowhere near the bridesmaid dress shopping stage of planning, but that's beside the point. Just because I wouldn't handle this situation in the same way as OP doesn't mean it is acceptable to be completely nasty towards her. 

MyNameIsNot

mountaingirl8 said:

The only "psychotic" thing on this thread is the amount of negativity and bullying. Seriously?

There is absolutely no bullying here. Bullying is a serious issue, and has serious consequences. Pretending that a bunch of posters telling OP to calm down and stop mistreating her friends is bullying is completely belittling to all the victims that have experienced the horror of actual bullying.

mountaingirl8

MyNameIsNot said:

mountaingirl8 said:

The only "psychotic" thing on this thread is the amount of negativity and bullying. Seriously?

There is absolutely no bullying here. Bullying is a serious issue, and has serious consequences. Pretending that a bunch of posters telling OP to calm down and stop mistreating her friends is bullying is completely belittling to all the victims that have experienced the horror of actual bullying.

Actual bullying is aggressive, unwanted, repeated behaviour, and usually involves an imbalance of power. 

In this thread has there been...

• aggression? yes - go have a drink, you're a shitty friend, go consult a psychologist etc.
  
• unwanted behaviour? yes - OP posted quite early on that she didn't want negative posts 
  
• repeated behaviour? yes - there are many posters echoing the same sentiments, who can see what other posters have said 
  
• an imbalance of power? yes - many posters are long time posters here, and have all put themselves on one side of the fence (dog piling)
  

southernbelle0915

mountaingirl8 said:

MyNameIsNot said:

mountaingirl8 said:

The only "psychotic" thing on this thread is the amount of negativity and bullying. Seriously?

There is absolutely no bullying here. Bullying is a serious issue, and has serious consequences. Pretending that a bunch of posters telling OP to calm down and stop mistreating her friends is bullying is completely belittling to all the victims that have experienced the horror of actual bullying.

Actual bullying is aggressive, unwanted, repeated behaviour, and usually involves an imbalance of power. 

In this thread has there been...

• aggression? yes - go have a drink, you're a shitty friend, go consult a psychologist etc.
  
• unwanted behaviour? yes - OP posted quite early on that she didn't want negative posts 
  
• repeated behaviour? yes - there are many posters echoing the same sentiments, who can see what other posters have said 
  
• an imbalance of power? yes - many posters are long time posters here, and have all put themselves on one side of the fence (dog piling)
  

There is nothing in this thread that violates the TOS. You've been told that. And you're wrong that this is bullying. @MyNameIsNot hit the nail on the head - casually throwing around the term bullying is demeaning to victims of actual bullying. Please don't insult their experience by misusing that word.

thespeshulestsnowflake

mountaingirl8 said:

MyNameIsNot said:

mountaingirl8 said:

The only "psychotic" thing on this thread is the amount of negativity and bullying. Seriously?

There is absolutely no bullying here. Bullying is a serious issue, and has serious consequences. Pretending that a bunch of posters telling OP to calm down and stop mistreating her friends is bullying is completely belittling to all the victims that have experienced the horror of actual bullying.

Actual bullying is aggressive, unwanted, repeated behaviour, and usually involves an imbalance of power. 

In this thread has there been...

• aggression? yes - go have a drink, you're a shitty friend, go consult a psychologist etc.
  
• unwanted behaviour? yes - OP posted quite early on that she didn't want negative posts 
  
• repeated behaviour? yes - there are many posters echoing the same sentiments, who can see what other posters have said 
  
• an imbalance of power? yes - many posters are long time posters here, and have all put themselves on one side of the fence (dog piling)
  

TrixieJess

mountaingirl8 said:

MyNameIsNot said:

mountaingirl8 said:

The only "psychotic" thing on this thread is the amount of negativity and bullying. Seriously?

There is absolutely no bullying here. Bullying is a serious issue, and has serious consequences. Pretending that a bunch of posters telling OP to calm down and stop mistreating her friends is bullying is completely belittling to all the victims that have experienced the horror of actual bullying.

Actual bullying is aggressive, unwanted, repeated behaviour, and usually involves an imbalance of power. 

In this thread has there been...

• aggression? yes - go have a drink, you're a shitty friend, go consult a psychologist etc.
  
• unwanted behaviour? yes - OP posted quite early on that she didn't want negative posts 
  
• repeated behaviour? yes - there are many posters echoing the same sentiments, who can see what other posters have said 
  
• an imbalance of power? yes - many posters are long time posters here, and have all put themselves on one side of the fence (dog piling)
  

Anyone have an Inigo Montoya GIF? I'm on a mobile!

artbyallie

I got you, @TrixieJess!

MyNameIsNot

mountaingirl8 said:

MyNameIsNot said:

mountaingirl8 said:

The only "psychotic" thing on this thread is the amount of negativity and bullying. Seriously?

There is absolutely no bullying here. Bullying is a serious issue, and has serious consequences. Pretending that a bunch of posters telling OP to calm down and stop mistreating her friends is bullying is completely belittling to all the victims that have experienced the horror of actual bullying.

Actual bullying is aggressive, unwanted, repeated behaviour, and usually involves an imbalance of power. 

In this thread has there been...

• aggression? yes - go have a drink, you're a shitty friend, go consult a psychologist etc.
  
• unwanted behaviour? yes - OP posted quite early on that she didn't want negative posts 
  
• repeated behaviour? yes - there are many posters echoing the same sentiments, who can see what other posters have said 
  
• an imbalance of power? yes - many posters are long time posters here, and have all put themselves on one side of the fence (dog piling)
  

You clearly do not understand what any of those words mean.  

Telling someone to have a drink is not aggression. People refusing to lie to you does not constitute unwanted behavior. There is no repeated behavior. In the context of internet bullying, that would involve behavior like following the poster around to other boards or other websites/forums to harass her. And to call this an imbalance of power is a joke. No one has power on the boards, except maybe the moderators.

Again, your insistence on likening this to bullying is insulting to people who have really had to endure the horror. You should be ashamed of yourself. I would never wish bullying on anyone, but if you ever actually confront it, you will see how your insistence on flippantly throwing the term around trivializes the abuse. When you insist on comparing this to bullying, a person who is actually bullied looses legitimacy, because if this is bullying, there is nothing to complain about. 

You need to stop. 

TrixieJess

artbyallie said:

I got you, @TrixieJess!

@mountaingirl8 see above!

bridet0be15

I think many BM wait until the last minute to order their dresses.  I don't know why but in my sisters wedding for 2 BMs it came down to the last minute.  For my wedding (also in Sept) I had two order in Feb/March and then two who didn't.  The store called and said they have until April 25th to guarantee arrival in time (and it was a chain, Alfred Angelo).  I passed on that info to the remaining BM.  They all got it done in time.   

AddieCake

Telling someone to go have a drink is aggression?

Hahahahahahahahahahahaha!

I may have just peed my pants from laughing. You made me pee my pants! Bully! Bully!

Also, I think YOU need a margarita as well.

PrettyGirlLost

People who claim bullying on these threads make me suspect they have never actually been on the receiving end of actual bullying. And their entitled attitudes and shock at not receiving validation make me suspect that they may have at one point been the bullies.

The mean girl gangs in highschool were always the 1st girls to cry about ppl being mean to them when anyone ever dished it back.

stacitaco

lol. People are still commenting on this. 

CUTE.

Viczaesar

stacitaco said:

lol. People are still commenting on this. 

CUTE.

You put that stupid comment in your sig?  Don't let the door hit ya.

ohannabelle

stacitaco said:

lol. People are still commenting on this. 

CUTE.

Oh, I know!  isn't it just fucking amazing that you put a message up on an Internet forum with hundreds and hundreds of members, and all of them didn't personally contact you to find out if you considered the subject closed? 

No wonder you're lol-ing. You should join the bestest most goodest communities, where they do that. Because omg, lol, that's totally like how the internet works lol lol. k! Sooooooo cute! 

flantastic

Viczaesar said:

stacitaco said:

lol. People are still commenting on this. 

CUTE.

You put that stupid comment in your sig?  Don't let the door hit ya.

Pure klass.

stacitaco

Haha, sure beats a bunch of stupid "hilarious" GIF memes.

Y'all have fun commenting on month-old topics. Your dicks must get so hard to snark at brides-to-be all day. What's it like to be already married and obviously not busy enough to spend 24/7 posting THOUSANDS of comments on a forum intended for people getting married?

**Edited for TOS Violation**

Much love. Seeya.

levioosa

stacitaco said:

Haha, sure beats a bunch of stupid "hilarious" GIF memes.

Y'all have fun commenting on month-old topics. Your dicks must get so hard to snark at brides-to-be all day. What's it like to be already married and obviously not busy enough to spend 24/7 posting THOUSANDS of comments on a forum intended for people getting married?

**Edited for TOS Violation**

Much love. Seeya.

You must be such a peach in real life.  

Please tell us you feel sorry for our husbands.

TrixieJess

levioosa said:

stacitaco said:

Haha, sure beats a bunch of stupid "hilarious" GIF memes.

Y'all have fun commenting on month-old topics. Your dicks must get so hard to snark at brides-to-be all day. What's it like to be already married and obviously not busy enough to spend 24/7 posting THOUSANDS of comments on a forum intended for people getting married?

**Edited for TOS Violation**

Much love. Seeya.

You must be such a peach in real life.  

Please tell us you feel sorry for our husbands.

Or that we are all "bullies".

flantastic

stacitaco said:

Haha, sure beats a bunch of stupid "hilarious" GIF memes.

Y'all have fun commenting on month-old topics. Your dicks must get so hard to snark at brides-to-be all day. What's it like to be already married and obviously not busy enough to spend 24/7 posting THOUSANDS of comments on a forum intended for people getting married?

**Edited for TOS Violation**

Much love. Seeya.

Seriously, does no one read the TOS anymore?

AddieCake

For real. Once again, @KnotRiley and @KnotHolly please explain why I can't call someone insane for doing a mud run the morning of the wedding, but a newb can call us a "horrendous gaggle of harpies."

ohannabelle

AddieCake said:

For real. Once again, @KnotRiley and @KnotHolly please explain why I can't call someone insane for doing a mud run the morning of the wedding, but a newb can call us a "horrendous gaggle of harpies."

I think this is a fair and valid question. 

levioosa

ohannabelle said:

AddieCake said:

For real. Once again, @KnotRiley and @KnotHolly please explain why I can't call someone insane for doing a mud run the morning of the wedding, but a newb can call us a "horrendous gaggle of harpies."

I think this is a fair and valid question. 

I also would like to know. 

Viczaesar

stacitaco said:

Haha, sure beats a bunch of stupid "hilarious" GIF memes.

Y'all have fun commenting on month-old topics. Your dicks must get so hard to snark at brides-to-be all day. What's it like to be already married and obviously not busy enough to spend 24/7 posting THOUSANDS of comments on a forum intended for people getting married?

**Edited for TOS Violation**

Much love. Seeya.

Why are you obsessed with our genitals?  You just ooze klass, dear.

Heffalump

stacitaco said:

lol. People are still commenting on this. 

CUTE.

But...this thread was dead for nearly a week before you resurrected it.

KnotRiley

Hi all,

@Scribe95 did warn the poster and the comments have been edited out. Let me know if you have any questions!

Thanks!

Knottie03777613

I had to do a little nagging and I hated every second of it. I wanted my girls to be sure they had time to alter their dresses because we weren't able to measure a single one of them at the dress store we ordered from. I think all of them needed alterations, so it was good we did it early, but it was still not worth stressing myself out over and now that it's been done a couple of months and everyone has their dress and is ready to go, I feel a little silly about it. I agree with whomever above said to give them a hard and fast deadline, and then let it go (and maybe check in a week later - that's what I had to do with my 'hard and fast deadline') rather than harping on it.

missjewels02

I cant believe some of the comments on here. That seem to just assume that you are some bridezilla out of control. Maybe you are, maybe you're not. But when your Bridesmaids don't go get a dress in a reasonable amount of time. Its something to worry about. No one wants to find out the day of to hear. "Sorry, friend I just couldn't afford it/my dog ate it."

My weddings 40 days away. The dress only cost $100 and all my bridesmaids have jobs. Yet one of them still hasn't purchased the dress yet. I am sweating bullets over here. Mainly, because I don't have anyone to replace her. A courtesy call to say hey i'm having some hardships or i'm just procrastinating i'll get it. Would go so far to ease my troubled mine.

AddieCake

missjewels02 said:

I cant believe some of the comments on here. That seem to just assume that you are some bridezilla out of control. Maybe you are, maybe you're not. But when your Bridesmaids don't go get a dress in a reasonable amount of time. Its something to worry about. No one wants to find out the day of to hear. "Sorry, friend I just couldn't afford it/my dog ate it."

My weddings 40 days away. The dress only cost $100 and all my bridesmaids have jobs. Yet one of them still hasn't purchased the dress yet. I am sweating bullets over here. Mainly, because I don't have anyone to replace her. A courtesy call to say hey i'm having some hardships or i'm just procrastinating i'll get it. Would go so far to ease my troubled mine.

You don't replace her. Bridesmaids are not props. If she doesn't take care of business, she isn't in the wedding and life moves forward because it's not a big deal other than you feeling disappointed in being let down by a friend.