BM Dress--Help!

becks0227

Ok, I have a total of 6 bridesmaids-- my 2 sisters are both maids of honor, and then 4 additional friends.  I discussed budget with all of the girls, and then ended up finding a dress that was under even the lowest budget--like $60 under.  My wedding is outdoors, I told the girls they could wear whatever shoes they wanted and I would provide the jewelry/hair/makeup. 

I sent out the information to purchase the dress in January (wedding is in May).  Everyone seemed on board with it.  About a month later, one of the bridesmaids emailed me to let me know that the store no longer had her size and color available.  So I did some looking around, and found another store that had it for an even lower price.  Now, we are a just barely over a month away from the wedding, and she emails me AGAIN to tell me that the second store is sold out now too.  So I look around again--and I seriously cannot find this dress anywhere.  I found a link to a dress that is very similar, but not the exact same cut or color. 

I'm trying to be understanding--I know this BM already had to back out of the bachelorette party because money is tight, which I totally get.  But I'm worried it's going to look really weird with my MOH's in one dress, 3 BM's in another, and this one BM in a completely different dress.  What should I do?

lovegood90

becks0227 said:

Ok, I have a total of 6 bridesmaids-- my 2 sisters are both maids of honor, and then 4 additional friends.  I discussed budget with all of the girls, and then ended up finding a dress that was under even the lowest budget--like $60 under.  My wedding is outdoors, I told the girls they could wear whatever shoes they wanted and I would provide the jewelry/hair/makeup. 

I sent out the information to purchase the dress in January (wedding is in May).  Everyone seemed on board with it.  About a month later, one of the bridesmaids emailed me to let me know that the store no longer had her size and color available.  So I did some looking around, and found another store that had it for an even lower price.  Now, we are a just barely over a month away from the wedding, and she emails me AGAIN to tell me that the second store is sold out now too.  So I look around again--and I seriously cannot find this dress anywhere.  I found a link to a dress that is very similar, but not the exact same cut or color. 

I'm trying to be understanding--I know this BM already had to back out of the bachelorette party because money is tight, which I totally get.  But I'm worried it's going to look really weird with my MOH's in one dress, 3 BM's in another, and this one BM in a completely different dress.  What should I do?

This is seriously nothing to stress over. There's nothing really you need to "do." She will look fine in the similar dress, and it doesn't matter if it's not the exact colour or cut- no one will notice.

[Deleted User]

What is more important?  That she be wearing the same dress or that she be standing up next to you on your wedding day?

littlepep

adk19 said:

What is more important?  That she be wearing the same dress or that she be standing up next to you on your wedding day?

YES YES YES. 

One of my BMs wants to wear a long dress because she will be pregnant and said she will feel more comfortable. I was like cool, do what you need to. 

I promise no one is going to pay that much attention to the bridesmaid dresses. They will likely be more focused on you and your FI. 

PrettyGirlLost

Let it go.

I had 10 BMs.  Not a single one was in the same dress style.  It didn't effect my pictures or the day as a whole in a negative way at all.

Let your BM get whatever dress she can.

MissKittyDanger

Don't stress. It'll work out better than you think

I had a potential issue with my BMs. I was clear I wanted black dress, cocktail length and no spaghetti straps and pricing {$80 for us}

There was a private fb event for it, so we could discuss stuff and all these places. One of my girls I could potentially see an issue of being picky - I made it clear I would not stand for that. It's going to be hard enough as is. 2 girls are curvy, 2 are petite and one is tall and slim. Picky isn't an issue.

My ideal was same dress, but I wasn't holding my breath on that and no one else was.

Went into first store and saw a dress RIGHT AT THE DOOR and it ended up being PERFECT

Bridal cloud nine. So trust me, it'll work out in the end. But don't expect the same dress.

KatWAG

@mrsspence87 lets not bump 2 month old threads. The OP is already married.

aurianna

mrsspence87 said:

Don't stress. It'll work out better than you think

I had a potential issue with my BMs. I was clear I wanted black dress, cocktail length and no spaghetti straps and pricing {$80 for us}

There was a private fb event for it, so we could discuss stuff and all these places. One of my girls I could potentially see an issue of being picky - I made it clear I would not stand for that. It's going to be hard enough as is. 2 girls are curvy, 2 are petite and one is tall and slim. Picky isn't an issue.

My ideal was same dress, but I wasn't holding my breath on that and no one else was.

Went into first store and saw a dress RIGHT AT THE DOOR and it ended up being PERFECT

Bridal cloud nine. So trust me, it'll work out in the end. But don't expect the same dress.

Since it was necroposted anyway...

Lurkers, this isn't a great attitude to have. These girls are your closest friends so laying down ultimatums isn't cool.
Also, since your friends are being nice enough to spend their money on a dress that you're mostly picking out, to stand by your side on your wedding day, they are doing you a favor, not the other way around. A good friend wants their friends to be comfortable in the dress they will be wearing in front of a bunch of people and photographed in.

So yes, while the bride does have final say, don't try to intimidate your girls into being silent if they have some real concerns about a dress. Modesty and/or body image are very sensitive topics for some people, and I would think a good friend would want everyone to be open about anything that impedes on those.

MyNameIsNot

mrsspence87 said:

Don't stress. It'll work out better than you think

I had a potential issue with my BMs. I was clear I wanted black dress, cocktail length and no spaghetti straps and pricing {$80 for us}

There was a private fb event for it, so we could discuss stuff and all these places. One of my girls I could potentially see an issue of being picky - I made it clear I would not stand for that. It's going to be hard enough as is. 2 girls are curvy, 2 are petite and one is tall and slim. Picky isn't an issue.

My ideal was same dress, but I wasn't holding my breath on that and no one else was.

Went into first store and saw a dress RIGHT AT THE DOOR and it ended up being PERFECT

Bridal cloud nine. So trust me, it'll work out in the end. But don't expect the same dress.

Good thing you posted too late to share that bit with OP.  What a selfish attitude!

MissKittyDanger

Sorry for bumping old threads but just to be clear, I wasn't rude or condescending when I spoke to that BM and all was okay. She's caused previous issues and wanted to prevent any more from happening. Things went smoothly, and all was okay.

I don't by any means wanted any of them in something awkward or uncomfortable but financially I don't want other to feel uncomfortable even if one can afford higher than others. We all discussed the price point that was okay for everyone. I didn't want people to break the bank or feel financial strain.

iloveu4ever

Are they in the same color? Then don't stress over it. Anyway I wouldn't anyway. Unless the colors clash.