Wedding Etiquette Forum

When is too soon?

Hello! So I am not getting married until 1/28/2017 but I am such a planner and organizer that I cant help but want to everything right now.

so when should I be sending my save the dates? If it were up to me I would send them out NOW lol just kidding.

When should I formally ask my girls to be my bridesmaids?

Re: When is too soon?

  • Hello! So I am not getting married until 1/28/2017 but I am such a planner and organizer that I cant help but want to everything right now.

    so when should I be sending my save the dates? If it were up to me I would send them out NOW lol just kidding.

    When should I formally ask my girls to be my bridesmaids?

    Send save the dates within a year to six months

    Ask your bridesmaids when you're less than a year out, since relationships change and things happen. 
     

    This!

    Everyone that receives a saves the date must receive an invitation. Relationships and budgets change over the course of two years. Do not commit yourself to anything now, You might regret it later.
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  • Ask your wedding party around the 9 month mark.  I'd probably send the STDates around the same time.  The nice thing about having so much time between now and then is the option to change your mind.  If you do anything too early, you give up that right.
  • I think it's totally fine to start a guest list and looking at venue options, but as PPs have said your relationships may change over that amount of time. 

    I sent out STDs at about 6 months since most of my guests were fairly local. If you're guests will have to travel a long way you can do a little earlier. 

    DEFINITELY do not ask your bridal party yet. It's way too early and you don't know what could change between now and then. 
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  • I had (and still am having) a longish engagement of 2 years. I asked my bridal party one year out. Sent save the dates 9 months out. 

    What you can do now is start researching and booking vendors. I had the venue, date, DJ, photographer, videographer, and rehearsal dinner all booked like 3 months after being engaged. The biggest benefit of a longer engagement in my opinion was that we found the vendors we really liked and they were all available when we booked them. AND if you're excited for save the dates, you can design them whenever and order them when there's a big sale (and then just wait to send them out). Have fun! It goes by fast.
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  • peachy13 said:

    I had (and still am having) a longish engagement of 2 years. I asked my bridal party one year out. Sent save the dates 9 months out. 


    What you can do now is start researching and booking vendors. I had the venue, date, DJ, photographer, videographer, and rehearsal dinner all booked like 3 months after being engaged. The biggest benefit of a longer engagement in my opinion was that we found the vendors we really liked and they were all available when we booked them. AND if you're excited for save the dates, you can design them whenever and order them when there's a big sale (and then just wait to send them out). Have fun! It goes by fast.
    Ditto the bolded. We will have been engaged for a little over a year and a half when we get married (in 3 weeks!) 

    We booked the venue right away, which is apparently in high demand and books more than a year in advance, so good thing we started early. We also booked our caterer, florist, DJ, band (a lot of bands we wanted were already booked more than a year out!), trolley (guest transportation) and photographer. We were able to shop around, take our time, compare prices, and do plenty of research with no pressure that we were running out of time. 

    With all the big stuff out of the way, it gave us time to relax and focus more on personal touches and designing some of our own stuff (cuz FI does this for a living). Then we got to spend the entire summer completely ignoring wedding stuff and taking a nice long vacation. It was awesome. 
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  • You already have a date so I assume you must have a venue, right?  If so then you are already way ahead of the game.  If you don't have a venue, you don't have a date.

    Ditto PPs on STDs and BMs.  Wow, that was a lot of acronyms.  

    We are at the end of a 2.5 year engagement and I was glad I got the big ticket items locked down early: venue, photographer, and music.  Everything else can wait, and in the case of your bridal party and STDs, it should wait until less than a year out.
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    "I'm not a rude bitch.  I'm ten rude bitches in a large coat."

  • STDs can go out 6-10 months ahead of time (6 if local, 10 if most people are traveling). Any sooner than that and people may forget about it - kind of negates the whole purpose.

    BMs can be asked about 9-12 months prior. Spend some time on the wedding party and moms and maids boards and you'll see why. No one is immune.

    I know you're pumped to get going. Right now, you should be setting a budget and thinking about the type of wedding you want. I would sit on those two things for a few months before doing anything. Then next steps would be booking the big things - like wedding venue, reception venue, and caterer. If you're in an area where good vendors are at a premium, book your photographer and DJ also.

    Take it easy and remember why you're here: this is about your relationship, not just a party.

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