"No Spouse Rule"...I can't even

margaritaaa

I recently read this article on OBB after someone mentioned it in another thread.

This couple was really concerned about conserving costs for the wedding, but at what expense? This actually seems like the worst wedding a person could ever go to

[Deleted User]

I think this might be worse than the crowdfunded wedding. There's just something really gross about asking people to come celebrate your marriage while flagrantly disrespecting theirs.

NotTheOnlyOne

No.  

I had to stop reading it because, no. I'm of the firm belief that unless you are in a committed relationship you should not bring a date for the sake of having a plus one, but because I want to be as accommodating as possible, I am not inviting a few extra friends to make room for a plus one for EVERYONE who is single.  (if when the RSVPs come in some opt out of the plus one, maybe I can add some people if it is not too late.)

That being said, I have a friend on the West Coast who was invited to a tiny wedding at a CA vineyard and no spouses were allowed.  They were not upset, but I thought it was cray.

geebee908

Says her wedding planning was done via Wedding Wire. That should explain some of it.

PandaNikki

Ugh. 

Reminds me of a few years ago.. DH and I were in a relationship for 2 years at that point, my cousin knew it, and I was invited on my parents' invitation along with my sister.

We were 21 and 19. I almost didn't go.

damnthetorpedoes

Does anyone else ever wonder if some of these "real weddings" are troll posts? Just a big practical joke to see how much BS people would take and how many people would say "OMG NO SPOUSES? WHAT A GREAT IDEA!" ?

NotTheOnlyOne

Nah, I haven't seen it much, but I have heard of a few instances. People do not understand hosting in general.

[Deleted User]

geebee908 said:

Says her wedding planning was done via Wedding Wire. That should explain some of it.

I'm new here, what's up with Wedding Wire?

hellohkb

This IS worse than the crowd funding wedding. At least I can bring my FH to that one.

huskypuppy14

I can't believe she took her friends to dinner and told them they couldn't bring their spouses. I would have said "oh  you'll save a lot of money, because I won't be coming". 

I have no problem going to places without my husband. I would definitely go to a wedding if he couldn't go (due to his schedule or something). I would be offended if he wasn't invited in the first place though.

TrixieJess

hydrahydrangea said:

geebee908 said:

Says her wedding planning was done via Wedding Wire. That should explain some of it.

****I'm new here, what's up with Wedding Wire?

***

I use their budgeting tool because it's more user friendly than The Knot's. However, if you go on their Forum, it's Etiquette Hell. Also, they think Knotties are Bitches, which I find hilarious!

ETA: Asterisks because on a mobile.

mikenberger

"Do you get to bring your spouse? Or do I get to have all my closest friends...?" 

I am choking on all the vapid. SO MUCH VAPID. 

[Deleted User]

It was also a morning wedding on a weekday...  Amazed she even had 40 people come.

And Honeyfund...

And this quote just makes me gag... You're 40 still holding on to the idea of the fairy tale wedding. Crying because someone suggested ways to do some  budget DIY?

When Jason's daughter suggested some budget DIY ideas for our wedding, I started crying because I felt like I was compromising. I waited 40 years to get to this point in my life, and I didn’t want to sacrifice a thing.

lnixon8

Check out the comments. Someone brought up PP's concerns and her response was this

. The article said it was a hard choice. It was more than hard – it took a lot of bravery on my part and a lot of love and understanding on my friends/spouses part. Jason gave me his "friend count" so I could have 6 of "my girls" there. And the spouses loved me enough to let us have that day together. Believe me, I could have invited 1,000's of people. Do you know how many FB friends I have? 

Guys: this woman is BRAVE. And has thousands of facebook friends she could have invited!

mikenberger

lnixon8 said:

Check out the comments. Someone brought up PP's concerns and her response was this

. The article said it was a hard choice. It was more than hard – it took a lot of bravery on my part and a lot of love and understanding on my friends/spouses part. Jason gave me his "friend count" so I could have 6 of "my girls" there. And the spouses loved me enough to let us have that day together. Believe me, I could have invited 1,000's of people. Do you know how many FB friends I have? 

Guys: this woman is BRAVE. And has thousands of facebook friends she could have invited!

Like so brave. Like Captain America brave.

Maggie0829

Instead of spending $3000 on rings she and her H could have bought very inexpensive plain bands and then used the rest of the money to pay for spouses to come.

And I am confuse by the whole "I borrowed everything from my sisters, except my dress and shoes."  What the hell else was their to borrow?  The $20 feather hairpiece?

TrixieJess

Oh God, I read the article...cannot unread...so...much...bad...

The no spouses was the starter. Was it just me or did it seem like a DW? Honeyfund...$1,200 photographer...wow, so much bad...

In the comments she even justifies her bad choices further by talking about how they picked a venue that they could afford that only accommodated 40 people. Guess what? FI and I picked a venue that we could afford and it only accommodates...40 people...we are inviting spouses...and children...and plus ones, why? Because I'm keeping my invite list to a minimum and cutting costs elsewhere.

chibiyui

I also like that they invited (couples) of their parents friends,so they'd have someone to talk to, and children of immediate family, yet her friends didn't get to bring their spouses. Poor planning is hard y'all.

And seriously, there is nothing budget about dropping 3k on rings. Just bad planning and depending on what she had done (reused stones and all) a jeweler who made RIDIC profit.

Bravo to whoever commented and called her out.

....Which has the most "Agrees" on that article. 

frenchiekin

Maggie0829 said:

Instead of spending $3000 on rings she and her H could have bought very inexpensive plain bands and then used the rest of the money to pay for spouses to come.

And I am confuse by the whole "I borrowed everything from my sisters, except my dress and shoes."  What the hell else was their to borrow?  The $20 feather hairpiece?

Exactly this.  The rings jumped out at me immediately.  $3000?!  And she already owned the diamonds!  The whole time I'm reading *budget*budget*budget and then HEY we just spent a shitload on rings.  Which is 100% fine obviously, but for the love of science, not if you aren't hosting your guests properly.  Buy simple, plain bands or consider going vintage (what we did and saved a ton on really beautiful rings).

In the vendor credits at the bottom, it says the hairpiece was from Claire's... so that wasn't borrowed either.

Just..... priorities, people.

charcoalandblush

chibiyui said:

I also like that they invited (couples) of their parents friends,so they'd have someone to talk to, and children of immediate family, yet her friends didn't get to bring their spouses. Poor planning is hard y'all.

And seriously, there is nothing budget about dropping 3k on rings. Just bad planning and depending on what she had done (reused stones and all) a jeweler who made RIDIC profit.

Bravo to whoever commented and called her out.

....Which has the most "Agrees" on that article. 

Which is now gone:

Hey y'all, we've had the (very rare!) experience of having to remove some disparaging comments from this post. Which reminds me ask our readers visiting from other sites (hi, guys!) to please mind our no-drama comment policy.

TrixieJess

charcoalandblush said:

I also like that they invited (couples) of their parents friends,so they'd have someone to talk to, and children of immediate family, yet her friends didn't get to bring their spouses. Poor planning is hard y'all.

And seriously, there is nothing budget about dropping 3k on rings. Just bad planning and depending on what she had done (reused stones and all) a jeweler who made RIDIC profit.

Bravo to whoever commented and called her out.

....Which has the most "Agrees" on that article. 

Which is now gone:

Hey y'all, we've had the (very rare!) experience of having to remove some disparaging comments from this post. Which reminds me ask our readers visiting from other sites (hi, guys!) to please mind our no-drama comment policy.

I notice that all the comments that were not agreeing with the article are gone! I read them and didn't think they were worded in a way that would have been in any sort of violation. Let's hope none of the girls who thought this was a lovely wedding end up here...

littlepep

"As the article says, we were allowed to have 40 at the venue we could afford. My true friends and family know how important it is for us to live a debt-free life"

But like is the ONLY venue there? I find that hard to believe that you couldn't find a single other affordable venue that could accommodate more people. 

" So in the final analysis – my friends who were/were not invited love me, the spouses who were/were not invited to the wedding love me (although they WERE invited to stay on the premises during the event)"

I'm going to go out on a limb here and say they probably still talked about how shitty it was behind your back. And hell no do I want to stay on premise while my SO is at a wedding that I wasn't invited to. That makes it even worse. 

chibiyui

charcoalandblush said:

chibiyui said:

I also like that they invited (couples) of their parents friends,so they'd have someone to talk to, and children of immediate family, yet her friends didn't get to bring their spouses. Poor planning is hard y'all.

And seriously, there is nothing budget about dropping 3k on rings. Just bad planning and depending on what she had done (reused stones and all) a jeweler who made RIDIC profit.

Bravo to whoever commented and called her out.

....Which has the most "Agrees" on that article. 

Which is now gone:

Hey y'all, we've had the (very rare!) experience of having to remove some disparaging comments from this post. Which reminds me ask our readers visiting from other sites (hi, guys!) to please mind our no-drama comment policy.

Because being offbeat means never being called out for being an asshole.

Bubblegum5586

Ugh Yuck! I hate reading all these "clever" way to save money on your wedding that are actually just RUDE!

I also wanted to say the $3k on rings really stood out to me! We didn't have a huge budget and because of that we spent $500 on both our wedding bands! H's is s sample cobalt band and mind is a simple white gold band. But EVERYONE was able to bring their SO.

flantastic

TrixieJess said:

charcoalandblush said:

I also like that they invited (couples) of their parents friends,so they'd have someone to talk to, and children of immediate family, yet her friends didn't get to bring their spouses. Poor planning is hard y'all.

And seriously, there is nothing budget about dropping 3k on rings. Just bad planning and depending on what she had done (reused stones and all) a jeweler who made RIDIC profit.

Bravo to whoever commented and called her out.

....Which has the most "Agrees" on that article. 

Which is now gone:

Hey y'all, we've had the (very rare!) experience of having to remove some disparaging comments from this post. Which reminds me ask our readers visiting from other sites (hi, guys!) to please mind our no-drama comment policy.

I notice that all the comments that were not agreeing with the article are gone! I read them and didn't think they were worded in a way that would have been in any sort of violation. Let's hope none of the girls who thought this was a lovely wedding end up here...
And then there's a comment from the bride addressing "those who have chosen to hate."

flutteringinfl

"It was there that I told them that they could not bring their spouses to the wedding because I had to make the hard choice: do you get to bring your spouse, or do I get to have as many of my closest friends there as possible? It was not an easy choice."

Actually, it's a very easy choice. And you made the wrong, very selfish one.

I like how she said she wanted the wedding to be "drama free." A great way to avoid drama is to not be hugely rude to your closest friends by excluding their spouses.

Knottie63176412

I had to come out of lurking just to add that I live in Phoenix, and they could have done way more with that $10,000 budget than they did, just sayin'.  Royal Palms is not the only pretty venue in the area...  

JCbride2015

Knottie63176412 said:

I had to come out of lurking just to add that I live in Phoenix, and they could have done way more with that $10,000 budget than they did, just sayin'.  Royal Palms is not the only pretty venue in the area...  

Holy shit.  Did not click through to the article yet but I was picturing a teeny tiny budget from these excerpts (plus the mega expensive rings).  $10,000?????  for 40 people????? and they couldn't invite spouses?  So. Much. No.

banana468

Is OBB the "everyone gets a trophy" school of wedding forums?

chibiyui

JCbride2015 said:

Knottie63176412 said:

I had to come out of lurking just to add that I live in Phoenix, and they could have done way more with that $10,000 budget than they did, just sayin'.  Royal Palms is not the only pretty venue in the area...  

Holy shit.  Did not click through to the article yet but I was picturing a teeny tiny budget from these excerpts (plus the mega expensive rings).  $10,000?????  for 40 people????? and they couldn't invite spouses?  So. Much. No.

damn. 10k for that venue for 40 people?

That couple is just plain bad with money. Nothing about their wedding was budget.

sophhabobopha