Snarky Brides

FH was just asked to be a groomsman in a wedding we weren't invited to.

Or rather, that I assumed we weren't invited to, since we never received a save the date or invitation. We've seen them on the fridges of mutual friends for months/weeks and figured that we just weren't invited, and it wasn't a big deal... but then FH gets a nice message asking him to be a groomsman. We know they have our address because a mutual friend told us that he asked for it months ago. The whole thing just seems so weird to me.

Has anyone else experienced anything like this? FH already said yes, so I guess that's happening.

Re: FH was just asked to be a groomsman in a wedding we weren't invited to.

  • So weird.  Are you sure they sent invites already?
  • Yup. Saw it on a friend's fridge last week, the wedding's in May. We also know that he asked the rest of his groomsmen several months ago, immediately after another friend's wedding.
  • Yeah, I think your FH needs to ask WTF is up with this.
  • It definitely sounds like he's replacing someone... But why would the groom ask someone to be a groomsman who isn't even invited to the wedding in the first place? So weird.
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    Your H is a replacement GM.  So I would be having your H ask the Groom what the hell is up and that you two never even received an invite to their wedding.

  • Blue_BirdBlue_Bird Bawlmer member
    Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 500 Comments First Answer
  • bethsmilesbethsmiles Denver, CO member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer

    Is it possible your invite got lost in the mail?

    It's still tacky/rude to ask your FH to be a replacement GM (clearly what is happening!) but it's just plain weird to ask someone who wasn't even invited to be a replacement GM.

  • blabla89blabla89 Atlanta member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    Yeah, I was in a wedding where some of the BMs were b-listed. It's gross and your FH should decline.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker

  • thisismynickname2thisismynickname2 City By The Lake member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    Just imagine what's going on with this couple that they are not only B-listing guests, but B-listing bridal party members. How many friends have been lost along the way here and why?


  • At first I thought maybe you should give them the benefit of the doubt that your invite got lost, but if you didn't receive a save the date OR an invite then you were definitely not invited.  How strange and tacky for him to ask your FH to be a groomsman!  He should definitely ask what the deal is with him being asked after y'all weren't invited.
  • I'd be happy to be a groomsman.  My budget for attire is $50, so let me know what I need.  Oh, and I need an invitation so I know where to be and when.

    Your FH needs to be prepared to decline if they insist on attire above his budget, or if they don't include you on his wedding invitation.
  • Gross. They have so few friends that they couldn't find a "replacement GM" (barf) among the people they'd already invited? No thank you please.

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