Pre-wedding Parties

huge bridal shower

2

Re: huge bridal shower

  • My MOH asked me if I would like no wrapping.  It's an option on some registry sites.  My bridal party also knows that I like to be "environmentaly conscious" as much as possible- so I guess that's why they asked me.  So I guess that answers your question- if the gift is wrapped, there's a lot of wasted paper that will never be used again.  I don't care one way or another, and I'm sure some people prefer to gift wrap, but unwrapping gifts for over an hour is exceptionly boring.  I'd rather just take the bow off, read the card and thank the person for the gift rather than spending time unwrapping gifts, and shoving paper into bags.  Less cleanup needed.   
  • klk111415 said:

    My MOH asked me if I would like no wrapping.  It's an option on some registry sites.  My bridal party also knows that I like to be "environmentaly conscious" as much as possible- so I guess that's why they asked me.  So I guess that answers your question- if the gift is wrapped, there's a lot of wasted paper that will never be used again.  I don't care one way or another, and I'm sure some people prefer to gift wrap, but unwrapping gifts for over an hour is exceptionly boring.  I'd rather just take the bow off, read the card and thank the person for the gift rather than spending time unwrapping gifts, and shoving paper into bags.  Less cleanup needed.   

    I totally get trying to be "green", but you can't tell adults what to do.  If the gifts some to your home automatically from the store, they can be unwrapped, but if I wrap a gift for you, you don't get to whine about how I wasted paper and killed a tree.  I bought you a GIFT.
    plainjane0415Maggie0829chibiyui
  • plainjane0415plainjane0415 The hills of Tennessee member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    klk111415 said:

    My MOH asked me if I would like no wrapping.  It's an option on some registry sites.  My bridal party also knows that I like to be "environmentaly conscious" as much as possible- so I guess that's why they asked me.  So I guess that answers your question- if the gift is wrapped, there's a lot of wasted paper that will never be used again.  I don't care one way or another, and I'm sure some people prefer to gift wrap, but unwrapping gifts for over an hour is exceptionly boring.  I'd rather just take the bow off, read the card and thank the person for the gift rather than spending time unwrapping gifts, and shoving paper into bags.  Less cleanup needed.   


    Right, but it's rude to request something like that especially at a gift giving event. People will want to wrap gifts.  So you should let them if they so choose. 
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    [Deleted User]
  • @Plainjane0415  I totally agree which is why I said that I don't care if I receive wrapped gifts.  I'm not really demanding this (since I was asked by someone throwing the party) but it's nice for people to have the option.  It's not a rule, more of a suggestion.  
  • plainjane0415plainjane0415 The hills of Tennessee member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    klk111415 said:

    @Plainjane0415  I totally agree which is why I said that I don't care if I receive wrapped gifts.  I'm not really demanding this (since I was asked by someone throwing the party) but it's nice for people to have the option.  It's not a rule, more of a suggestion.  


    People always have the option, there's no need to address it.  I just hope whoever is hosting doesn't put this on the shower invite.
    image
    [Deleted User]Maggie0829
  • Clear wrapping paper? So like Saran Wrap? I mean seriously I'd wrap the shit of it is with a whole roll to make a point
    PrettyGirlLost[Deleted User]chibiyuimrsdee15
  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost A Land Filled with Unicorns and Cat Hair member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer

    kellyem2 said:

    I have a huge family too. Out of the 100+ invited my shower wound up being around 80 people. And yes, aside from a few friends of my FMIL I was on a pretty close first name basis with all these people.

    Hungarian/Polish families. We're cool like that.

    My family is  into the whole "every bow you break is a kid you're going to have" thing so I wound up opening all of the gifts by hand. I don't feel like I rushed it and it definitely took way less than an hour to get through everything. Since I had gone around to the tables a few times during lunch so I had a good idea of where everyone was sitting which made the thank yous easier.

    I don't know what games and things your ladies might have planned, but we did a lot of that during the present opening to break things up. We did drawings for prizes every so many presents. We also had people write down their top pieces of marriage advice and read a few here and there.

    I've been to showers where there was more or less an assembly line
    where the bridesmaids opened gifts and recorded what was from who, then
    the bride made the announcement about what each gift was and thanked the
    guests. If you're really anxious about opening presents in front of
    everyone this is a great way to cut down on the time.


    But honestly, you'll be fine. Even if people gave you a couple gifts each there's no way it's going to take the amount of time you're dreading. :)

    That is an AWFUL idea. The gifts aren't for the BMs, they have no business opening them! If my thoughtfully chosen GIFT to you was reduced to assembly line level, I'd be taking it and leaving.
    I've been to large bridal showers that had a BM assembly line in order to make gift opening more efficient, and it was not done as described in the bolded.  I agree that having the BMs open the gifts is very rude.

    This is how I have seen them work:
    1 BM is on record keeping duty to record who gave what.
    1 BM hands gift to bride.  Sometimes this BM also slices envelopes open for faster removal of card, pre-cuts ribbons on gifts, and cuts tape on any tape sealed gifts so they are quicker for Bride to open.
    Bride removes card, reads card, opens gift, oohs and ahhs, and thanks giver.
    Bride hands opened gift to a BM who then puts it aside.
    1 BM is on trash duty.

    So the bride actually physically opens each card and gift, the BMs do not do that.  They just help move everything along smoothly.


    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


    thisismynickname2SP29kimmiinthemitten
  • If I were you I'd have just one bridal shower with the 90 guest. Separating the showers could become stressful and i think its a great time for both families to get to know one another. I would suggest you ask your bridesmaids for a timeline of how the day will go.  The timeline will help with the flow. 
  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost A Land Filled with Unicorns and Cat Hair member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    scribe95 said:

    I come from a huge family too - both my parents have eight siblings - but I still came nowhere close to 80 or 90 people. I came to about 50 - and had three separate showers to keep them intimate and not overly burdensome to the hosts. A shower is not meant to be every female invited to the wedding.

    Or maybe it is, if that's what the bride wants to do.  As long as she is close to those people and she isn't inviting ppl just for the sake of gifts, fine.

    But brides should then have multiple showers for the different social circles so that no one shower is overly huge.

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


    SP29
  • If I were you I'd have just one bridal shower with the 90 guest. Separating the showers could become stressful and i think its a great time for both families to get to know one another. I would suggest you ask your bridesmaids for a timeline of how the day will go.  The timeline will help with the flow. 

    I hate the "getting to know one another". The Moms should meet, sisters/FSILS... hopefully before the shower, otherwise I don't need to get to know anyone. 
    I feel like this is why people have those stupid games but I have NEVER made a friend from a bridal shower. Even if we roll each other in toilet paper, create a mad libs about the bride and groom, "Catch" them saying the word/bride/groom/wedding, etc. Even if I do see them again at the wedding...


  • I agree that 92 is A. LOT. of people for one shower, but OP, I feel your pain.  Mine will be just under 60.  My mom is one of 9, my dad is one of 6, and I have 32 first cousins.  Of course only roughly half of them are women, but that's a lot... then there are the spouses of my male cousins that my family and I are close with, grandmothers, then my FI's family, and my BM's and a few close girlfriends I want there.  It adds up very quickly when your families are large and close knit.

    Yes, I agree that the ideal situation would be to have multiple showers, but I'm not sure how we can assume that's even an option for OP or anyone else.  Only my BMs offered to host my shower, no one else.  Just because one has a large guest list does not automatically mean there are multiple people/groups offering to host showers.  If no one offers to host a separate shower, I don't really feel like that can be considered a "good option" for the OP/bride.  The bride can't suggest to anyone that she needs a 2nd or 3rd shower to accommodate all of the people she truly wants there and/or is obligated to invite... it would be asking for someone to host.

    I am not asking this rudely at all, but... am I missing something?


    SP29
  • theartistformerlyknownastheartistformerlyknownas peaced out. member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers First Anniversary
    edited April 2015
    adk19 said:

    I agree that 92 is A. LOT. of people for one shower, but OP, I feel your pain.  Mine will be just under 60.  My mom is one of 9, my dad is one of 6, and I have 32 first cousins.  Of course only roughly half of them are women, but that's a lot... then there are the spouses of my male cousins that my family and I are close with, grandmothers, then my FI's family, and my BM's and a few close girlfriends I want there.  It adds up very quickly when your families are large and close knit.


    Yes, I agree that the ideal situation would be to have multiple showers, but I'm not sure how we can assume that's even an option for OP or anyone else.  Only my BMs offered to host my shower, no one else.  Just because one has a large guest list does not automatically mean there are multiple people/groups offering to host showers.  If no one offers to host a separate shower, I don't really feel like that can be considered a "good option" for the OP/bride.  The bride can't suggest to anyone that she needs a 2nd or 3rd shower to accommodate all of the people she truly wants there and/or is obligated to invite... it would be asking for someone to host.

    I am not asking this rudely at all, but... am I missing something?
    Yes.  

    So my bridesmaid offers to host a shower for me and asks me for a guest list.  I DON'T give her a list of 80 people.  I DO ask her how many people she's comfortable hosting.  She gives me a number or a range, and I give her a list of people in that range.  If one of my 32 cousins is insulted that she didn't get an invitation to my shower, she's free to host a shower for me with only my cousins in attendance.
    Exactly this. My sisters' heads would have exploded if I had asked them to host 80+ people when they offered to host my shower. So I gave them a list of only my closest friends, my mom and step-mom, and my step-sisters. Not my female cousins, not everyone's wife, not anyone's girlfriend, not my H's female friends, not even all my friends, and not my FI's (now H's) family. On a separate occasion, my (f)MIL said "I'd like to host a shower for you for this side of the family, since it's so big and I know they'd love to participate. Is that OK?" Yes, thank you, that would be lovely. She then came up with her own guest list, chosen from my wedding invitation list, of all the people she was willing to host. If she had not offered, I would have still only had the initial list I gave my sisters. I wasn't going to overwhelm them with a huge guest list just to garner the most gifts or avoid anyone getting their feelers hurt. I was more concerned with not hurting my sisters' wallets.

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    MyNameIsNotPrettyGirlLostKnottiePineSP29
  • If you can make it close family not 2nd or 3rd cousins. That is what I am doing with my guest list. My mom's side of the family got like a ton of cousins. So just narrowing it to 1st cousins.

     
  • MGPMGP member
    Knottie Warrior 500 Love Its 500 Comments Name Dropper
    There is nothing wrong with having a large, close knit family or lots of close friends. There is something wrong with assuming that your shower hosts are willing or obligated to host all these people.

    From the get go, get the number of guests that your hosts are willing to host and invite accordingly and carefully. Any guests above that number can wait for another shower to be offered/hosted or be ok with not being invited.
    PrettyGirlLostKnottiePineSP29
  • You can request that the gifts not be wrapped but rather places on display. This way everyone can see what you received and you can spend time with family and friends rather than opening gifts.
    oliviabee22
  • WOW, a lot of very judgmental, condescending commentary here.... let's be kind to our fellow brides. As an alternative perspective... I also have a big shower - my fiance has a large family that he has spent great amounts of time with since he was a child and we all shower each other with love and gifts for the beginning of marriage. Reminder... showers are not really about the guests, they are about the bride and celebrating her special day. I've been to many showers, some small and some big, and I've enjoyed every moment of watching a young woman surrounded by her loved ones opening gifts that she will use for a long time in her home. Especially when she receives things she didn't expect or would not be able to afford or want to buy for herself. Perhaps its time to take a different perspective on bridal showers and enjoy being there for a person who is in one of the most exciting times of her life.

    With all due respect, I don't think the OP is asking you to criticize (incredibly rudely, I might add) how many guests she has attending her bridal shower and she mentioned absolutely nothing in her post about not wanting to open the gifts at all at the shower.

    She was simply asking how to make it go smoothly. I love the suggestion of the timer and prizes - I think that serves the purpose of engaging everyone and also takes some pressure off the bride! I'm so nervous about blushing while I open gifts from everyone. This might be a great suggestion for my own shower in May!
    NotTheOnlyOne
  • plainjane0415plainjane0415 The hills of Tennessee member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    olmeadows said:

    WOW, a lot of very judgmental, condescending commentary here.... let's be kind to our fellow brides. As an alternative perspective... I also have a big shower - my fiance has a large family that he has spent great amounts of time with since he was a child and we all shower each other with love and gifts for the beginning of marriage. Reminder... showers are not really about the guests, they are about the bride and celebrating her special day. I've been to many showers, some small and some big, and I've enjoyed every moment of watching a young woman surrounded by her loved ones opening gifts that she will use for a long time in her home. Especially when she receives things she didn't expect or would not be able to afford or want to buy for herself. Perhaps its time to take a different perspective on bridal showers and enjoy being there for a person who is in one of the most exciting times of her life.

    With all due respect, I don't think the OP is asking you to criticize (incredibly rudely, I might add) how many guests she has attending her bridal shower and she mentioned absolutely nothing in her post about not wanting to open the gifts at all at the shower.

    She was simply asking how to make it go smoothly. I love the suggestion of the timer and prizes - I think that serves the purpose of engaging everyone and also takes some pressure off the bride! I'm so nervous about blushing while I open gifts from everyone. This might be a great suggestion for my own shower in May!

    This is all incorrect.  All of it. Especially the bolded.
    image
  • mikenbergermikenberger In a f'n cornfield member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    edited April 2015
    olmeadows said:

    WOW, a lot of very judgmental, condescending commentary here.... let's be kind to our fellow brides. As an alternative perspective... I also have a big shower - my fiance has a large family that he has spent great amounts of time with since he was a child and we all shower each other with love and gifts for the beginning of marriage. Reminder... showers are not really about the guests, they are about the bride and celebrating her special day. I've been to many showers, some small and some big, and I've enjoyed every moment of watching a young woman surrounded by her loved ones opening gifts that she will use for a long time in her home. Especially when she receives things she didn't expect or would not be able to afford or want to buy for herself. Perhaps its time to take a different perspective on bridal showers and enjoy being there for a person who is in one of the most exciting times of her life.

    With all due respect, I don't think the OP is asking you to criticize (incredibly rudely, I might add) how many guests she has attending her bridal shower and she mentioned absolutely nothing in her post about not wanting to open the gifts at all at the shower.

    She was simply asking how to make it go smoothly. I love the suggestion of the timer and prizes - I think that serves the purpose of engaging everyone and also takes some pressure off the bride! I'm so nervous about blushing while I open gifts from everyone. This might be a great suggestion for my own shower in May!

    This is all incorrect.  All of it. Especially the bolded.
    Everybody knows the wedding, the showers, the parties are ALL ABOUT THE BRIDE AND NOT ABOUT ANYBODY ELSE. Duh. 

    image
    plainjane0415PrettyGirlLost
  • chibiyuichibiyui The Boring Part of MD member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    olmeadows said:

    WOW, a lot of very judgmental, condescending commentary here.... let's be kind to our fellow brides. As an alternative perspective... I also have a big shower - my fiance has a large family that he has spent great amounts of time with since he was a child and we all shower each other with love and gifts for the beginning of marriage. Reminder... showers are not really about the guests, they are about the bride and celebrating her special day. I've been to many showers, some small and some big, and I've enjoyed every moment of watching a young woman surrounded by her loved ones opening gifts that she will use for a long time in her home. Especially when she receives things she didn't expect or would not be able to afford or want to buy for herself. Perhaps its time to take a different perspective on bridal showers and enjoy being there for a person who is in one of the most exciting times of her life.

    With all due respect, I don't think the OP is asking you to criticize (incredibly rudely, I might add) how many guests she has attending her bridal shower and she mentioned absolutely nothing in her post about not wanting to open the gifts at all at the shower.

    She was simply asking how to make it go smoothly. I love the suggestion of the timer and prizes - I think that serves the purpose of engaging everyone and also takes some pressure off the bride! I'm so nervous about blushing while I open gifts from everyone. This might be a great suggestion for my own shower in May!

    I love bridal showers, and I wouldn't want to go to a 50 person bridal shower, let alone a 92 person shower. Nothing is smooth about a nearly 100 person shower.

    The buzzer is a great suggestion. Cutting the bloated guest list is the best suggestion.
    image



    Anniversary
    PrettyGirlLostKnottiePineDreamergirl8812
  • flantasticflantastic The Midwest member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers

    olmeadows said:

    WOW, a lot of very judgmental, condescending commentary here.... let's be kind to our fellow brides. As an alternative perspective... I also have a big shower - my fiance has a large family that he has spent great amounts of time with since he was a child and we all shower each other with love and gifts for the beginning of marriage. Reminder... showers are not really about the guests, they are about the bride and celebrating her special day. I've been to many showers, some small and some big, and I've enjoyed every moment of watching a young woman surrounded by her loved ones opening gifts that she will use for a long time in her home. Especially when she receives things she didn't expect or would not be able to afford or want to buy for herself. Perhaps its time to take a different perspective on bridal showers and enjoy being there for a person who is in one of the most exciting times of her life.

    With all due respect, I don't think the OP is asking you to criticize (incredibly rudely, I might add) how many guests she has attending her bridal shower and she mentioned absolutely nothing in her post about not wanting to open the gifts at all at the shower.

    She was simply asking how to make it go smoothly. I love the suggestion of the timer and prizes - I think that serves the purpose of engaging everyone and also takes some pressure off the bride! I'm so nervous about blushing while I open gifts from everyone. This might be a great suggestion for my own shower in May!

    This is all incorrect.  All of it. Especially the bolded.
    Everybody knows the wedding, the showers, the parties are ALL ABOUT THE BRIDE AND NOT ABOUT ANYBODY ELSE. Duh. 



    Did we ever even hear about whose idea this gigantic guest list was?

    Who cares about the budget of the hosts? They should be happy to spend as much as is needed so that everyone the BRIDE wants may gratefully participate in this SPECIAL SHOWER DAY.

    PrettyGirlLost[Deleted User]
  • NowIAmSypNowIAmSyp East Hanover, NJ member
    Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 500 Comments First Answer

    1Meganh said:

    You can request that the gifts not be wrapped but rather places on display. This way everyone can see what you received and you can spend time with family and friends rather than opening gifts.

    You can request this, yes. But you'd be an asshole in doing so.
    I literally just choked on my salad.  LOL
    mikenbergerPrettyGirlLostspeakeasy14
  • ViczaesarViczaesar Central Coast, CA member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    olmeadows said:

    WOW, a lot of very judgmental, condescending commentary here.... let's be kind to our fellow brides. As an alternative perspective... I also have a big shower - my fiance has a large family that he has spent great amounts of time with since he was a child and we all shower each other with love and gifts for the beginning of marriage. Reminder... showers are not really about the guests, they are about the bride and celebrating her special day. I've been to many showers, some small and some big, and I've enjoyed every moment of watching a young woman surrounded by her loved ones opening gifts that she will use for a long time in her home. Especially when she receives things she didn't expect or would not be able to afford or want to buy for herself. Perhaps its time to take a different perspective on bridal showers and enjoy being there for a person who is in one of the most exciting times of her life.

    With all due respect, I don't think the OP is asking you to criticize (incredibly rudely, I might add) how many guests she has attending her bridal shower and she mentioned absolutely nothing in her post about not wanting to open the gifts at all at the shower.

    She was simply asking how to make it go smoothly. I love the suggestion of the timer and prizes - I think that serves the purpose of engaging everyone and also takes some pressure off the bride! I'm so nervous about blushing while I open gifts from everyone. This might be a great suggestion for my own shower in May!

    And you accuse US of being condescending?  FYI Pot, you're black.



    mikenberger
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