Wedding Recap and Withdrawal

things i'm glad we did and things i wish we did differently

We just got married last saturday and since then i've been running through all the little things that i wish we did differently. This post is my way of sending off my little regrets and hopefully helping out some other couples!

THE BAD. The things I wish I did differently:
We chose not to do a bridal party - now I wish we had, and I would have picked my brother to be my "man of honor".

We were rushing to finish our house (which we bought 6 months ago and have been fixing up like crazy up to the last minute - seriously, doing grout in the kitchen the day before everyone arrived). I wish we had more time in the days before the wedding to focus on finalizing the wedding details and relaxing.

I wish I had called to confirm all the vendors earlier in the week. I only got to the calls the night before (at around 4pm). I'm glad I did confirm though b/c our photographer had us down for the wrong date! Thankfully she came through in the end and ended up giving us an extra hour of photography.

I wish I made my groom try on his tux in full - his pants were a little too short with his shoes on :)

My husband surprised me with the most amazing vows! I wish I had known he would be so poetic, and I would have made mine more romantic too.

I would have confirmed every single detail with the vendors and would have hired a coordinator to make sure it all got done properly. Things mainly worked out in the end but three minor/major details that were overlooked were: (1) we got left behind at our ceremony with our photographer! we stepped away out of view and our trolley left the park without us!, (2) our cake topper flowers were MIA until a friend found them in a bag on our sweetheart table, (3) I specially ordered table numbers in farsi on one side and in english on the other, and specially requested table number holders that would display both sides, but the restaurant put them in these holders that only showed one side (like picture frame). Lesson learned: Explain each detail and why its important to your vendors and an assigned or paid helper!

I wish we had arranged the room so it felt more intimate; i wish we would have more carefully planned the details of the music playlists (including making sure songs faded into the next instead of going to silence).

Also, I wish we had scoped out some photography spots - our pictures turned out great, but there were some cute spots in the park that we could have used that would have been great backgrounds.

THE GOOD. Things I'm so glad we did.

We had our friends and family in town several days before and after the wedding, and I got a chance to visit with everyone and they all got to know one another. We basically did a giant open house from weds to monday.

Our parents and friends asked how they could help and really came through for us every step of the way.

We had our friend perform the ceremony and we wrote our own vows. We kept part of the wedding (our feelings about each other, which we shared before our vows), a secret from each other, so we were surprised by at least part of what was said. neither of us is religious so we incorporated native american wedding traditions (a wedding vase and basket of blessings which our neighbor gave us). The ceremony was AWESOME :)

We had great food, hired a belly dancer, and hosted beer and sangria (plus champagne and wine at the dinner tables) - we probably had more than we needed on all fronts but everyone had a great time.

We did a wedding wish tree instead of a traditional guest book. We're saving our messages to read at our 1 week anniversary :)

We booked a hotel five blocks away, at a boutique hotel with a bar on the top and bottom floors, so all our guests could party every night, even late into the night after the wedding.

We didn't let the little things bother us on the day of the wedding :)

We got recommendations from friends for our vendors, who turned out to be great! Delicious cake and great photos...

We played a mix of music and everyone danced.

We were able to talk with and spend time with everyone at our 80 person wedding.

Also, I'm so glad we planned our wedding in our new town instead of the town where we grew up - this way our guest list was reduced to only the people who really wanted to make the effort to come, and our friends and family got to see our new home.

So those are my thoughts and feelings. I hope they help someone else out, and I'm ready now to be fully invested in our married life.

Re: things i'm glad we did and things i wish we did differently

  • Thanks for sharing. You have some good tips! I'm sure your wedding was amazing despite the little problems.
  • I can't beleive your photographer had you down for the wrong date! That would have been disastrous!
    Good that they gave you an extra hour though!

    How did you make the wedding wish tree? I want to do that too! I think they're really cute!
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  • HOLY CRAP about your photographer!  I cannot believe someone would make a mistake that big!  What if she had booked another wedding? That would've totally freaked me out.  That is wonderful that it worked out ok.  

    Also, how did you get to your venue if you got left behind?  What happened?
  • Thanks for your notes! 

    RE: the wish tree - I purchased the branches of the tree and the vase from Etsy - it was reclaimed wood stained a dark color. I purchased the sand from michael's and I found some paper leaves at the Paper Source (in gold, red, brown, and yellow), and we had gold pens on the table spread around with the leaves on the table. Here's a picture of what it looked like:

    I also ordered my table numbers from Etsy - they have such great stuff!

    RE: the photographer - i don't know how it happened but i'm so glad i called to confirm, and I think she was more freaked out than i was when we realized what happened.

    RE: getting left behind - we had hired a trolley to take everyone from the ceremony to the reception. my husband and i walked away from the building where the ceremony was to take pictures in the park (its kind of a big park...); we actually got picked up by a pedi-cab driver who happened to be driving by and offered to let us take photos on his pedicab, so i think maybe people thought that we were taking that to the reception, but we really only took it for about 200 feet around the lake...

    in any case, when we walked back to the building the trolley was gone. the trolley company says they came back to the park and were told by the park manager that everyone had left and that the trolley should leave; the park manager says she didn't say anything to them... so i'm not really sure how it happened, but in the end the trolley company says they'll refund our money. Lesson learned: Confirm with multiple people your transportation plans! (In the end we got a ride to the reception from the park manager who happened to be in the building still, and drove us in her red convertible).

  • Thank you for the tips. My wedding is in 12 days so I got some useful tips. Congratulations on your wedding. I hope you and your husband have a wonderful marriage and enjoy your new home
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