I've been lurking around the Knot, and I've posted a few times about my crazy-ass FILs. At this point, we've moved the wedding up from July 2016 to December 2015, and we're about to book venue/ceremony space. The wedding will be under 20 people at a restaurant, hence why I'm not sweating it 8 months out.
We're going to be married by the owner's relative who is the "marriage officer" for the local township; I have no idea what this is, but it sounds like the right department to me. We'll be married at the restaurant, probably at the table, and then just head on into dinner. Dinner will be "order anything you want, we'll pay." I'm hoping to get menus without prices from the restaurant, but if not, we'll just have to DIY on nice paper. No cake; the restaurant has good rep for desserts. For a favour, we're looking at a brass Christmas ornament with our names and the date on it, and Black and White Cookies (NYC staple, 2 per person, and my favourite dessert) for the road.
I'm in the UK right now, and the groom is in/from Texas. Rather than making everyone haul to the UK, we're having it in NY/NJ near my parents. Mom will be handling RSVPs and the investigation for the site, etc, so my parents are hosting. FI and I are paying for everything, however. Ma's been a good scout so far, and I'm quite grateful.
FI's parents....we're anticipating flak. Everything FI has shared with them so far has been met with objection and derison, and some of the request the mother has made have been outrageous "You're 8th generation Texan, so we will pay for Slayer to fly out to get a marriage license here." (Have not been offered any other money toward the wedding, nor has a check for that flight+cat sitter+hotel materialized) . "You need to have your brother as best man." (brother is on verge of divorce and not that tight with FI) "Your father was the first person to hold you because you a C-section, so I want him to marry you off." (First, wtf. Second, this is what happened at the brother's wedding; we do not want a repeat.)
As a consilatory gesture, FI asked whether she would like him to wear her father's watch during the wedding. "It would desecrate his memory to take the watch out of TX." It's legally FI's anyway, so it will happen if he wants it, but holy cow. No pleasing this lady. We've stopped sharing wedding info; their next notice will be the invitations.
We're expecting pushback in regard to the location (not in Texas), the invitations (they're not hosting or contributing, and it's not a family tree), and how small/minimal it will be. I'm honestly a little worried about the last bit. We're doing it within the budget we wanted (including a round trip plane flight for me to get there), and we're doing it at the half-way point between TX and UK, where the two of us are. In contrast, FI's brother had a multiple day event at a golf course, and ours is jetset -- in, wedding and dinner, out. I feel a bit bad for making people fly from TX for a dinner wedding, but at the same time, I'm flying transatlantic for the same purpose (and seeing the fam for the first time in 2+years).
Anyway, I'm posting here to see if anything I'm doing is egregiously rude. I can understand people RSVPing no for how far and what it is, but that's them making a choice; I just want to make sure I'm not doing something shit-show horrific (I'm not booking transport to/from the airport, and I should. I'm not having a cake, and I should, etc etc etc.) Thanks in advance!