I gotta ask this PPD related vent

monkeysip

Yeah, no I understand what connotation means.  I'm just saying that even in a religious context, that's not what "solemn" means.  I'm not even sure where that connotation stems from.

littlepep

novella1186 said:

CMGragain said:

My sister had a Barbie doll wedding dress.  The original one was a cathedral creation of lace.  Every little girl wanted to have one.  Time for a feminist rant!
We are conditioned by society to want to be the beautiful bride in the white dress.  Church and religion have declined.  Is it any wonder that so many confused girls focus on the dress and the party instead of the solemnity of the occasion?  We now have a respected wedding dress manufacturer who is designing dresses based on Disney princesses.  I understand they sell quite well, too.  Sigh!

I have to argue with the bolded, because I don't see that as part of the problem at all (at least from my perspective). I was raised Jewish, so I was never part of a church (I guess you could just use "synagogue" interchangeably but that never seems to be included in the sentiment, and it bothers me). Saying that there's a decline in church involvement or whatever kind of disregards anyone who wasn't raised with church in their life.

And I'm atheist. I never grew up with the idea that marriage/weddings were about church and faith and god and religion, and there's no solemnity in it for me.

I grew up with the idea that marriage meant you were entering a life-long union/commitment with the person you intend to build a life and have a future with. So to me, that's what my wedding is. I get to be with the love of my life forever. That's a heavy decision. I don't need church or religion to understand that it's huge and important, and not at all about the big fancy party. It's not really fair to disregard people like me and make a blanket-statement that not having church is a problem for women these days.

You can have an absence of religion and still have a solid idea of what marriage means. I'm not one of those women who is only thinking about the party and the poofy dress, but I'm not thinking of god either.

And not to say that all religious people are this way, but especially down here in the Bible Belt, I've known quite a few people to get married just so they can live together and have sex and then realize they are totally incompatible. There's so much to a marriage beyond sex and initial attraction. It takes work. And you have to talk about important decisions and how you will handle future challenges. It's more than an image or a picture perfect wedding day. It's a lifetime together. FI and I are very different but we balance each other and agree on so many major things like how raise children, money, etc.