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Chairs are Important

We went to a wedding this weekend, and to all the lurkers out there - it is very important to have a seat for every butt. I'll start from the beginning. 

I lost the invitation for the wedding, so I asked FI's cousin who told me the ceremony started at 6:30. Perfect. We planned out our day on Saturday so that we could get there a bit early and have some time to hang out at the hotel. Of course, we end up running late, with us arriving at 6. NBD, I put my makeup on in the car, my hair was done, I would just need to throw on my dress and shoes on at the hotel. We pick up FMIL who happened to bring her invitation with her, and I glanced at it - it said ceremony start time 6PM. So now I'm freaking out because we're definitely gonna miss the ceremony! Turns out - they put 6PM on the invitations, with the intention to start at 630. Apparently, cousin asked the FOB and he told him the ceremony was at 630 which is why he relayed that to us. Now I'm worried about ours, because it is  the norm for people in our families to do that. I think there is going to have to be a lot of word of mouth spreading so people know that they need to show up ON TIME for ours. 

Anyways, the ceremony was lovely. The bride was beautiful, and cocktail hour was great. Then we get moved to the reception site. As soon as I walked into the room, one of FI's cousins calls me over and hisses "Pinkcow, there aren't any chairs for us!"Now, I knew this in advance because the groom told us over Easter. Clearly, not everyone knew. I told her that I knew, and that they were only having seating for the elderly and disabled" and she said, "yea and look at all those young people that got a table!" 

Basically, when you walked into the room, to the left there were a few tables set up with centerpieces, etc. To the right were high cocktail tables. So more than half the guests did not have a seat.Dinner was served buffet style, and we had to eat standing. There was a couch right outside the reception room, on the way to the buffet room, and some people managed to snag seats to eat. I don't even think there were enough high tables for all of the guests.Let me tell you, you don't realize how important sitting is until you attend a wedding without seats. We basically stood during all the spotlight dances, and a (long) video speech that the groom had pre-recorded (which was a bit weird. He said something about capturing the bride's poop in little bottles and storing it on shelves. 15 years worth. I think this was an inside joke but I didn't really get it). Not even an hour into the reception, and girls were walking and dancing around barefoot.

Other than that, the wedding was overall fun.We're a fun bunch and made the best of it, but having a seat would have been really nice. Several people came up to me during the night asking if we would be having seats at our wedding (at least 60% of the guests there will be at our wedding). And people will never tell the bride and groom how they felt - but yea, people will judge you for that. They will judge hard.
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Re: Chairs are Important

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    pinkcow13 said:

     He said something about capturing the bride's poop in little bottles and storing it on shelves. 15 years worth. 
    Wha?

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    pinkcow13 said:

    We went to a wedding this weekend, and to all the lurkers out there - it is very important to have a seat for every butt. I'll start from the beginning. 


    I lost the invitation for the wedding, so I asked FI's cousin who told me the ceremony started at 6:30. Perfect. We planned out our day on Saturday so that we could get there a bit early and have some time to hang out at the hotel. Of course, we end up running late, with us arriving at 6. NBD, I put my makeup on in the car, my hair was done, I would just need to throw on my dress and shoes on at the hotel. We pick up FMIL who happened to bring her invitation with her, and I glanced at it - it said ceremony start time 6PM. So now I'm freaking out because we're definitely gonna miss the ceremony! Turns out - they put 6PM on the invitations, with the intention to start at 630. Apparently, cousin asked the FOB and he told him the ceremony was at 630 which is why he relayed that to us. Now I'm worried about ours, because it is  the norm for people in our families to do that. I think there is going to have to be a lot of word of mouth spreading so people know that they need to show up ON TIME for ours. 

    Anyways, the ceremony was lovely. The bride was beautiful, and cocktail hour was great. Then we get moved to the reception site. As soon as I walked into the room, one of FI's cousins calls me over and hisses "Pinkcow, there aren't any chairs for us!"Now, I knew this in advance because the groom told us over Easter. Clearly, not everyone knew. I told her that I knew, and that they were only having seating for the elderly and disabled" and she said, "yea and look at all those young people that got a table!" 

    Basically, when you walked into the room, to the left there were a few tables set up with centerpieces, etc. To the right were high cocktail tables. So more than half the guests did not have a seat.Dinner was served buffet style, and we had to eat standing. There was a couch right outside the reception room, on the way to the buffet room, and some people managed to snag seats to eat. I don't even think there were enough high tables for all of the guests.Let me tell you, you don't realize how important sitting is until you attend a wedding without seats. We basically stood during all the spotlight dances, and a (long) video speech that the groom had pre-recorded (which was a bit weird. He said something about capturing the bride's poop in little bottles and storing it on shelves. 15 years worth. I think this was an inside joke but I didn't really get it). Not even an hour into the reception, and girls were walking and dancing around barefoot.

    Other than that, the wedding was overall fun.We're a fun bunch and made the best of it, but having a seat would have been really nice. Several people came up to me during the night asking if we would be having seats at our wedding (at least 60% of the guests there will be at our wedding). And people will never tell the bride and groom how they felt - but yea, people will judge you for that. They will judge hard.
    I can't get past the bolded. 
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    Um. What they said.
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    Oh, stop being so stuck up! People don't need chairs - they're going to be mingling all night! Besides, my guests love us and understand that it just wasn't in the budget to get chairs after buying my expensive dress and wedding bands! It's the norm where we're from!

    Hahahahah! Yes, actually they had a live violinist for the ceremony and a percussionist during the reception. I mean, it was lovely... but seriously, a chair would have been way better.
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    blabla89 said:

    pinkcow13 said:

     He said something about capturing the bride's poop in little bottles and storing it on shelves. 15 years worth. 
    Wha?

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    This is why inside jokes should not be included in wedding speeches.
    Exactly.... I think only the bride (obv) and the best man knew the inside joke because the best man ran up to him and gave him a high five after saying that. Yesterday FI was like "Did he really say during his speech that he bottles up her poop?" Yes. Yes he did.
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    I would have sat on the floor.

    Bet that would go great with her "wedding vision".

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    The word "poop" (or any other word that describes a bodily function) should never be include in a wedding toast.  Like ever.

    I'm pretty sure the word "shit" was included at some point during this speech, but I can't really remember. Definitely poop, though. That I don't think I could forget. 
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    OMG.

    So... I'm really scared this will be my friend's wedding this year (minus the poop). It's partially the venue's fault for using the promised reception space for other purposes and partly the parents' fault for pressuring the couple into inviting people "who aren't likely to come anyway."

    The wedding has morphed from sit-down dinner with buffet to probable "cocktail style" with buffet because now they're expecting more yes replies than originally planned, and the venue is claiming they just can't fit that many tables!

    I'm really trying to not give a stressed bride too much unsolicited advice, but I didn't keep my mouth shut here. I said, "I've been to one cocktail style wedding. The reception started at 8pm. Yours is over dinner time. I don't see people eating a full dinner standing up. People will leave your wedding early if they don't have seats." I left it at that. Ughhhhh. 
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    Yuck. Truthfully, most of my friends prefer to stand at weddings after the food is done because we're usually dancing or mingling. But I also like to take a break and sit down. 
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    OMG.


    So... I'm really scared this will be my friend's wedding this year (minus the poop). It's partially the venue's fault for using the promised reception space for other purposes and partly the parents' fault for pressuring the couple into inviting people "who aren't likely to come anyway."

    The wedding has morphed from sit-down dinner with buffet to probable "cocktail style" with buffet because now they're expecting more yes replies than originally planned, and the venue is claiming they just can't fit that many tables!

    I'm really trying to not give a stressed bride too much unsolicited advice, but I didn't keep my mouth shut here. I said, "I've been to one cocktail style wedding. The reception started at 8pm. Yours is over dinner time. I don't see people eating a full dinner standing up. People will leave your wedding early if they don't have seats." I left it at that. Ughhhhh. 
    The bolded is totally true. 

    I've posted about this before, but we went to the wedding of FI's high school friends and their venue was too small for tables AND a dance floor. So before we were finished eating, venue staff came around and made us get up so they could take our tables away and make space for the dance floor. I want to say maybe 6 tables of people had to get up? 

    There was no place else for anyone to sit, and nowhere really for us to stand either, so we were all in the back of the room lined up against the wall, watching everyone else sit and eat. It sucked. 

    As soon as the bride and groom's spotlight dance was over, that place emptied out so fast. We stayed a tiny bit longer but it really sucked, and by the time we walked out, it looked like the only people left were the WP, bride and groom, and a few close family members. And this was right when the dance floor "opened." It was really awkward and lame. 
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    OMG.


    So... I'm really scared this will be my friend's wedding this year (minus the poop). It's partially the venue's fault for using the promised reception space for other purposes and partly the parents' fault for pressuring the couple into inviting people "who aren't likely to come anyway."

    The wedding has morphed from sit-down dinner with buffet to probable "cocktail style" with buffet because now they're expecting more yes replies than originally planned, and the venue is claiming they just can't fit that many tables!

    I'm really trying to not give a stressed bride too much unsolicited advice, but I didn't keep my mouth shut here. I said, "I've been to one cocktail style wedding. The reception started at 8pm. Yours is over dinner time. I don't see people eating a full dinner standing up. People will leave your wedding early if they don't have seats." I left it at that. Ughhhhh. 
    That's pretty much what happened with this one. They invited too many people. I think in the end it ended up working out (they invited more than the venue's capacity and I'm assuming they were lucky to not get all Yes RSVP's. I personally don't sit too long at weddings (unless I have to), but it is definitely nice to have the option to! 
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    Lame for sure. If I don't have a place to sit, then I'm assuming you (general you) don't plan on hosting me for more than an hour tops. There's no one I like enough on this planet to stand around for the standard 4-5 hours that is a wedding.

    If it's a work event, obviously I don't care if I have to stand and mingle (unless the event also includes a meal). But any other event should expect to have chairs...it's like step one of hosting, even before food/drink IMO.

    Formerly martha1818

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    I'm so glad I pushed for full seating when we got married. The popular advice everywhere at the time (I wasn't really on The Knot, but elsewhere) was to go for "cocktail seating" and the venue coordinator was pushing for it as well. And then-FI was very frugal, but it just felt wrong to me. I made it a hill to die on, and I'm so glad I did.
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    pinkcow13 said:

    Oh, stop being so stuck up! People don't need chairs - they're going to be mingling all night! Besides, my guests love us and understand that it just wasn't in the budget to get chairs after buying my expensive dress and wedding bands! It's the norm where we're from!

    Hahahahah! Yes, actually they had a live violinist for the ceremony and a percussionist during the reception. I mean, it was lovely... but seriously, a chair would have been way better.
    But why? Did she walk in to a snare drum? Did they hit a tympani every time she took a step down the aisle? I don't get it.
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    Ugh. This is a symptom of SSs wanting to have a "mingling/cocktail reception". For the love of all that is holy..... A mingling/cocktail reception does NOT give you carte blanche to refuse chairs and serve less food. 

    No no no no no no no.......
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    Ugh. This is a symptom of SSs wanting to have a "mingling/cocktail reception". For the love of all that is holy..... A mingling/cocktail reception does NOT give you carte blanche to refuse chairs and serve less food


    No no no no no no no.......
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    QFT, but I will not tolerate the food. If I get hangry, those around me will feel my wrath. 

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    Ugh. This is a symptom of SSs wanting to have a "mingling/cocktail reception". For the love of all that is holy..... A mingling/cocktail reception does NOT give you carte blanche to refuse chairs and serve less food. 


    No no no no no no no.......
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    Yea, the groom told me that they didn't want to have a "typical cookie cutter reception" and wanted it to be a full night of mingling and partying. Yea, no. You can have that and provide chairs. Some people don't want to party all night long, other people have bad knees, and other people just like to sit for a bit. There are songs I don't feel like dancing to, and that's when I rest my feet with a cocktail in hand.

    loveislouder, our DJ actually has the option of including a live percussionist. All they really do is enhance the music. It was cool at first, but then honestly, I did not even notice him. Although I noticed FI's uncle posted a video of him a little while ago, so I guess he really enjoyed it. This is where priorities need to come into place, though. If it was a budget issue, maybe nix the percussionist and plan for proper hosting.
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    pinkcow13 said:

    Ugh. This is a symptom of SSs wanting to have a "mingling/cocktail reception". For the love of all that is holy..... A mingling/cocktail reception does NOT give you carte blanche to refuse chairs and serve less food. 

    No no no no no no no.......
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    Yea, the groom told me that they didn't want to have a "typical cookie cutter reception" and wanted it to be a full night of mingling and partying. Yea, no. You can have that and provide chairs. Some people don't want to party all night long, other people have bad knees, and other people just like to sit for a bit. There are songs I don't feel like dancing to, and that's when I rest my feet with a cocktail in hand.

    loveislouder, our DJ actually has the option of including a live percussionist. All they really do is enhance the music. It was cool at first, but then honestly, I did not even notice him. Although I noticed FI's uncle posted a video of him a little while ago, so I guess he really enjoyed it. This is where priorities need to come into place, though. If it was a budget issue, maybe nix the percussionist and plan for proper hosting.


    I love when people use this as an excuse to be rude. Like "We're really unique; we're gonna have our guests sit on blankets on the ground." Um, no. If something is really that unique, it's usually cuz it's a bad idea and that's why people don't do it. 
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    Ugh. This is a symptom of SSs wanting to have a "mingling/cocktail reception". For the love of all that is holy..... A mingling/cocktail reception does NOT give you carte blanche to refuse chairs and serve less food. 


    No no no no no no no.......
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    Well having no seats and very limited food will encourage mingling, because people will mingle with each other as they walk out the door.  Hell they may even mingle enough during their exit from the venue to grab some dinner together.  See, the couple got what they want, their guests mingling together :)

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    pinkcow13 said:

    Ugh. This is a symptom of SSs wanting to have a "mingling/cocktail reception". For the love of all that is holy..... A mingling/cocktail reception does NOT give you carte blanche to refuse chairs and serve less food. 

    No no no no no no no.......
    image
    Yea, the groom told me that they didn't want to have a "typical cookie cutter reception" and wanted it to be a full night of mingling and partying. Yea, no. You can have that and provide chairs. Some people don't want to party all night long, other people have bad knees, and other people just like to sit for a bit. There are songs I don't feel like dancing to, and that's when I rest my feet with a cocktail in hand.

    loveislouder, our DJ actually has the option of including a live percussionist. All they really do is enhance the music. It was cool at first, but then honestly, I did not even notice him. Although I noticed FI's uncle posted a video of him a little while ago, so I guess he really enjoyed it. This is where priorities need to come into place, though. If it was a budget issue, maybe nix the percussionist and plan for proper hosting.


    This excuse always makes me stabby because they're full of shit. Let's be honest, fewer tables and chairs = fewer rentals, fewer centerpieces, fewer linens, no escort cards, no place settings... = LESS MONEY. Less food also = LESS MONEY. Try as they might to justify this as youneek, it's a cop out to save money. 

    If a couple REALLY wants people to mingle, they'll provide a bunch of cocktail tables by an awesome bar that has no line and they'll play great music so that people dance. They might even have appetizer stations, late night food stations, a photo booth, or a cool deck/other feature that will get people out of their chairs. They'll also have awesome friends who WANT to mingle - something which non-awesome people do not have.
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    Ugh. This is a symptom of SSs wanting to have a "mingling/cocktail reception". For the love of all that is holy..... A mingling/cocktail reception does NOT give you carte blanche to refuse chairs and serve less food. 


    No no no no no no no.......
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    THIS. SO MUCH THIS. I wanted a "mingling/cocktail" reception but I had an asston of food because I was so worried that there wouldn't be enough for everyone to make a full meal. And the coordinator told us we wouldn't need the extra space I wanted to rent because "there doesn't need to be many chairs". No. I want ALL THE FOOD and ALL THE CHAIRS.
    Image result for someecard betting someone half your shit youll love them forever
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    pinkcow13 said:

    Ugh. This is a symptom of SSs wanting to have a "mingling/cocktail reception". For the love of all that is holy..... A mingling/cocktail reception does NOT give you carte blanche to refuse chairs and serve less food. 


    No no no no no no no.......
    image
    Yea, the groom told me that they didn't want to have a "typical cookie cutter reception" and wanted it to be a full night of mingling and partying. Yea, no. You can have that and provide chairs. Some people don't want to party all night long, other people have bad knees, and other people just like to sit for a bit. There are songs I don't feel like dancing to, and that's when I rest my feet with a cocktail in hand.

    loveislouder, our DJ actually has the option of including a live percussionist. All they really do is enhance the music. It was cool at first, but then honestly, I did not even notice him. Although I noticed FI's uncle posted a video of him a little while ago, so I guess he really enjoyed it. This is where priorities need to come into place, though. If it was a budget issue, maybe nix the percussionist and plan for proper hosting.
    Ohhh. So there is actually a point lol. I didn't get it.
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    I need to print this out and give it to my sister. Her and her FI are having a mingling cocktail reception, without enough chairs. And it's definitely their vision, not the money. Their wedding is probably costing more money than mine and my other sister's did (according to my mom). 

    The thing is though, there probably is enough places for people to sit throughout the venue (winery). But that means people are going to be spread out (some on the patio, some in the winery, some in the reception area). And they are inviting under 100 people, so if everyone is spread out, it's going to look like no one is there. 

    People need to sit down! Get enough chairs for every butt.
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    We also considered doing a cocktail style reception, but we decided against it because it would have come out to the same amount of money, if not more, since we would have needed to provide appetizers for the entire night. And we sure as hell were having seats for everyone. People will mingle if they want to. Not having enough seats is just lame. It's one of those ideas that seems great at first, but once executed, it is terrible.
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