Should I be concerned

KwajKenDean

Should I be concerned about buying a bridesmaid dress when there is no date, no church, or a venue? the only information I keep being told is maybe next April.

mikenberger

KwajKenDean said:

Should I be concerned about buying a bridesmaid dress when there is no date, no church, or a venue? the only information I keep being told is maybe next April.

Yup. You do not need to purchase a dress now for a wedding in April. I wouldn't be concerned, per se, I just wouldn't be buying a dress. No way. No how.

southernbelle0915

Sounds like you're the bridesmaid. It's WAY to early to be ordering BM dresses. The bride doesn't even need to order her WEDDING dress this early. 

KwajKenDean

mikenberger said:

KwajKenDean said:

Should I be concerned about buying a bridesmaid dress when there is no date, no church, or a venue? the only information I keep being told is maybe next April.

Yup. You do not need to purchase a dress now for a wedding in April. I wouldn't be concerned, per se, I just wouldn't be buying a dress. No way. No how.

Ugh, I thought so! I haven't bought the dress yet, but the bride bought her dress this weekend and all of the other bridesmaids bought theirs at the same time (I'm out of town so I couldn't make it to her fitting) and when she told me this my mouth dropped. I asked why with no date set. She said because she really liked that dress and didn't want it to sell out and not be available for her wedding - whenever it is. So since the other maids bought theirs, should I just bit the bullet and get the dress now?

Maggie0829

I wouldn't buy anything until those specifics are in place.  And if the bride asks you why you haven't bought your dress yet, I would be honest with her as to why.

KwajKenDean

southernbelle0915 said:

Sounds like you're the bridesmaid. It's WAY to early to be ordering BM dresses. The bride doesn't even need to order her WEDDING dress this early. 

Yes I'm a bridesmaid. I just got married last September and learned all of this wonderful information on here for my own wedding so I didn't have my girls get their dress until May. I think she is worried about that dress not being available or the sizes not being available. I'm not even sure how to proceed with this.

mikenberger

KwajKenDean said:

mikenberger said:

KwajKenDean said:

Should I be concerned about buying a bridesmaid dress when there is no date, no church, or a venue? the only information I keep being told is maybe next April.

Yup. You do not need to purchase a dress now for a wedding in April. I wouldn't be concerned, per se, I just wouldn't be buying a dress. No way. No how.

Ugh, I thought so! I haven't bought the dress yet, but the bride bought her dress this weekend and all of the other bridesmaids bought theirs at the same time (I'm out of town so I couldn't make it to her fitting) and when she told me this my mouth dropped. I asked why with no date set. She said because she really liked that dress and didn't want it to sell out and not be available for her wedding - whenever it is. So since the other maids bought theirs, should I just bit the bullet and get the dress now?

No. You do not have to buy the dress now. I understand it's easier to be "a part of the pack" but you can very easily say "I'll buy the dress when it's a little closer and there's a wedding date." It's illogical to be purchasing things and she doesn't have a date. How does she know that she's going to get some date in April? I know my venue was booked a year in advance. She would be SOL for her mystery date in April.

flutteringinfl

Did she ask you your budget before she chose the dress? Is the dress within your budget? Not saying you should buy it if it is, but I'm curious.

mrsdee15

Without a date or venue, I'd be worried that once the bride finds a venue she will want different dresses than expected because the one she picked before doesn't match the venue.  I'd wait.  I'm surprised others bought them.

Maggie0829

KwajKenDean said:

mikenberger said:

KwajKenDean said:

Should I be concerned about buying a bridesmaid dress when there is no date, no church, or a venue? the only information I keep being told is maybe next April.

Yup. You do not need to purchase a dress now for a wedding in April. I wouldn't be concerned, per se, I just wouldn't be buying a dress. No way. No how.

Ugh, I thought so! I haven't bought the dress yet, but the bride bought her dress this weekend and all of the other bridesmaids bought theirs at the same time (I'm out of town so I couldn't make it to her fitting) and when she told me this my mouth dropped. I asked why with no date set. She said because she really liked that dress and didn't want it to sell out and not be available for her wedding - whenever it is. So since the other maids bought theirs, should I just bit the bullet and get the dress now?

No I would not buy the dress.  I wouldn't be shelling out money for something that you have no idea when you will wear it.  So much can happen between now and whenever she decides to get married.  You can gain weight, lose weight, get pregnant, stop being friends with her, drop out due to finances, drop out due to you planning a vacation during the same time that she finally decides to get married, etc, etc.

littlepep

When I got engaged I found a BM dress that I really liked. I was worried it would go out of stock as well, but you know what? I just let it go because it was way too early to talk to the girls about dresses. Sure enough it went out of stock. Then when it was time to look, I found a similar and less expensive dress. So it worked out for the best. 

I would DEFINITELY not buy any dress before there is a date set. That sounds like a recipe for disaster. 

KwajKenDean

mikenberger said:

KwajKenDean said:

mikenberger said:

KwajKenDean said:

Should I be concerned about buying a bridesmaid dress when there is no date, no church, or a venue? the only information I keep being told is maybe next April.

Yup. You do not need to purchase a dress now for a wedding in April. I wouldn't be concerned, per se, I just wouldn't be buying a dress. No way. No how.

Ugh, I thought so! I haven't bought the dress yet, but the bride bought her dress this weekend and all of the other bridesmaids bought theirs at the same time (I'm out of town so I couldn't make it to her fitting) and when she told me this my mouth dropped. I asked why with no date set. She said because she really liked that dress and didn't want it to sell out and not be available for her wedding - whenever it is. So since the other maids bought theirs, should I just bit the bullet and get the dress now?

No. You do not have to buy the dress now. I understand it's easier to be "a part of the pack" but you can very easily say "I'll buy the dress when it's a little closer and there's a wedding date." It's illogical to be purchasing things and she doesn't have a date. How does she know that she's going to get some date in April? I know my venue was booked a year in advance. She would be SOL for her mystery date in April.

Everything you're telling me I've told to her. I called to book my original date on Oct 1, 2013 only to find out out Sept 27, 2014 just got booked, so had to change my date, but I didn't have a dress yet. Right now she is very concerned with getting the accessories for her dress and I don't think is being receptive to those things. In fact when I told her about venues being booked a year or even 2 in advance she just said, "Well hopefully I can get the date I want at the place." 

Someone suggested to me that if she ask me for me to be honest with her about purchasing the dress closer to the wedding or even when a date is set and leave it at that.

500days

Yes, do not buy the dress. Sounds like you know better...too bad she didn't ask you for advice. If the dresses are from DB they will be there in a year anyways. Stick to your gut feeling and just wait until she has a date and more settled. As other PPs have stated, I cannot believe the other BMs bought their dresses already. 

KwajKenDean

littlepep said:

When I got engaged I found a BM dress that I really liked. I was worried it would go out of stock as well, but you know what? I just let it go because it was way too early to talk to the girls about dresses. Sure enough it went out of stock. Then when it was time to look, I found a similar and less expensive dress. So it worked out for the best. 

I would DEFINITELY not buy any dress before there is a date set. That sounds like a recipe for disaster. 

Same thing happened to me, but I wasn't going to make my girls have their dresses in their closet for a year. And just as you said the new dresses were cheaper and worked out for everyone's budget even better. 

mikenberger

KwajKenDean said:

mikenberger said:

KwajKenDean said:

mikenberger said:

KwajKenDean said:

Should I be concerned about buying a bridesmaid dress when there is no date, no church, or a venue? the only information I keep being told is maybe next April.

Yup. You do not need to purchase a dress now for a wedding in April. I wouldn't be concerned, per se, I just wouldn't be buying a dress. No way. No how.

Ugh, I thought so! I haven't bought the dress yet, but the bride bought her dress this weekend and all of the other bridesmaids bought theirs at the same time (I'm out of town so I couldn't make it to her fitting) and when she told me this my mouth dropped. I asked why with no date set. She said because she really liked that dress and didn't want it to sell out and not be available for her wedding - whenever it is. So since the other maids bought theirs, should I just bit the bullet and get the dress now?

No. You do not have to buy the dress now. I understand it's easier to be "a part of the pack" but you can very easily say "I'll buy the dress when it's a little closer and there's a wedding date." It's illogical to be purchasing things and she doesn't have a date. How does she know that she's going to get some date in April? I know my venue was booked a year in advance. She would be SOL for her mystery date in April.

Everything you're telling me I've told to her. I called to book my original date on Oct 1, 2013 only to find out out Sept 27, 2014 just got booked, so had to change my date, but I didn't have a dress yet. Right now she is very concerned with getting the accessories for her dress and I don't think is being receptive to those things. In fact when I told her about venues being booked a year or even 2 in advance she just said, "Well hopefully I can get the date I want at the place." 

Someone suggested to me that if she ask me for me to be honest with her about purchasing the dress closer to the wedding or even when a date is set and leave it at that.

Yes. Be honest with her. "I am not buying the dress until it's closer to your wedding date." Seems like she's far more interested in the dress up portion of getting married than the y'know, getting married portion of the day. 

She sounds like she's going to be a fun bride  

APDSS22

The only reason to buy it now would be if you LOVED the dress and wanted to be able to wear it to other occasions between now and her mystery date next year. 

Maggie0829

mikenberger said:

mikenberger said:

KwajKenDean said:

mikenberger said:

KwajKenDean said:

Should I be concerned about buying a bridesmaid dress when there is no date, no church, or a venue? the only information I keep being told is maybe next April.

Yup. You do not need to purchase a dress now for a wedding in April. I wouldn't be concerned, per se, I just wouldn't be buying a dress. No way. No how.

Ugh, I thought so! I haven't bought the dress yet, but the bride bought her dress this weekend and all of the other bridesmaids bought theirs at the same time (I'm out of town so I couldn't make it to her fitting) and when she told me this my mouth dropped. I asked why with no date set. She said because she really liked that dress and didn't want it to sell out and not be available for her wedding - whenever it is. So since the other maids bought theirs, should I just bit the bullet and get the dress now?

No. You do not have to buy the dress now. I understand it's easier to be "a part of the pack" but you can very easily say "I'll buy the dress when it's a little closer and there's a wedding date." It's illogical to be purchasing things and she doesn't have a date. How does she know that she's going to get some date in April? I know my venue was booked a year in advance. She would be SOL for her mystery date in April.

Everything you're telling me I've told to her. I called to book my original date on Oct 1, 2013 only to find out out Sept 27, 2014 just got booked, so had to change my date, but I didn't have a dress yet. Right now she is very concerned with getting the accessories for her dress and I don't think is being receptive to those things. In fact when I told her about venues being booked a year or even 2 in advance she just said, "Well hopefully I can get the date I want at the place." 

Someone suggested to me that if she ask me for me to be honest with her about purchasing the dress closer to the wedding or even when a date is set and leave it at that.

Yes. Be honest with her. "I am not buying the dress until it's closer to your wedding date." Seems like she's far more interested in the dress up portion of getting married than the y'know, getting married portion of the day. 

She sounds like she's going to be a fun bride  

Yes she does.  OP, please feel free to come back with any interesting/fun stories that happen between now and whenever her wedding will take place.

KwajKenDean

flutteringinfl said:

Did she ask you your budget before she chose the dress? Is the dress within your budget? Not saying you should buy it if it is, but I'm curious.

flutteringinfl said:

She did ask about budget and the dress is within my budget so I have been contemplating buying it since finding out everyone else bought theirs this weekend, but I think someone said on here things can change, I can gain weight, get pregnant...that is the thing that could happen as we are trying right now.

mikenberger

KwajKenDean said:

flutteringinfl said:

Did she ask you your budget before she chose the dress? Is the dress within your budget? Not saying you should buy it if it is, but I'm curious.

flutteringinfl said:

She did ask about budget and the dress is within my budget so I have been contemplating buying it since finding out everyone else bought theirs this weekend, but I think someone said on here things can change, I can gain weight, get pregnant...that is the thing that could happen as we are trying right now.

Oh dang. I wonder what'll happen if you're pregnant by then/have a baby before then?... oh snap.

KwajKenDean

KwajKenDean said:

flutteringinfl said:

Did she ask you your budget before she chose the dress? Is the dress within your budget? Not saying you should buy it if it is, but I'm curious.

flutteringinfl said:

She did ask about budget and the dress is within my budget so I have been contemplating buying it since finding out everyone else bought theirs this weekend, but I think someone said on here things can change, I can gain weight, get pregnant...that is the thing that could happen as we are trying right now.

She did ask about budget and the dress is within my budget so I have been contemplating buying it since finding out everyone else bought theirs this weekend, but I think someone said on here things can change, I can gain weight, get pregnant...this is the thing that could happen as we are trying right now. And one of her bridesmaids is pregnant now so I'm not sure if she bought hers or not. The message I got was that everyone bought theirs.

littlepep

KwajKenDean said:

Did she ask you your budget before she chose the dress? Is the dress within your budget? Not saying you should buy it if it is, but I'm curious.

flutteringinfl said:

She did ask about budget and the dress is within my budget so I have been contemplating buying it since finding out everyone else bought theirs this weekend, but I think someone said on here things can change, I can gain weight, get pregnant...that is the thing that could happen as we are trying right now.

All true things that could happen and more reason to not buy it. One of my BMs is going to be 8 months pregnant at the time of the wedding. She has been holding off ordering the dress because she has no idea how big she will be and wanted to wait as close to the date as possible. 

lurkergirl

mikenberger said:

KwajKenDean said:

flutteringinfl said:

Did she ask you your budget before she chose the dress? Is the dress within your budget? Not saying you should buy it if it is, but I'm curious.

flutteringinfl said:

She did ask about budget and the dress is within my budget so I have been contemplating buying it since finding out everyone else bought theirs this weekend, but I think someone said on here things can change, I can gain weight, get pregnant...that is the thing that could happen as we are trying right now.

Oh dang. I wonder what'll happen if you're pregnant by then/have a baby before then?... oh snap.

Well, obviously she would need to be removed from the wedding party!

huskypuppy14

Do not buy the dress now. If she doesn't have a date yet, how will you even know if you'll be available for her wedding. Most brides take into account their VIPs, but this bride doesn't sound like she would...

KwajKenDean

mrsdee15 said:

Without a date or venue, I'd be worried that once the bride finds a venue she will want different dresses than expected because the one she picked before doesn't match the venue.  I'd wait.  I'm surprised others bought them.

Oh that is another can of something else that I just shake my head to and say ok to whatever she wants to accesorize us with...her theme is (and I kind you not) Springtime Bohemian Fairy talePrincess Chic

littlepep

KwajKenDean said:

Without a date or venue, I'd be worried that once the bride finds a venue she will want different dresses than expected because the one she picked before doesn't match the venue.  I'd wait.  I'm surprised others bought them.

Oh that is another can of something else that I just shake my head to and say ok to whatever she wants to accesorize us with...her theme is (and I kind you not) Springtime Bohemian Fairy talePrincess Chic

SHUT UP. That is amazing. You are going to have the BEST stories from this wedding. 

TrixieJess

KwajKenDean said:

Without a date or venue, I'd be worried that once the bride finds a venue she will want different dresses than expected because the one she picked before doesn't match the venue.  I'd wait.  I'm surprised others bought them.

Oh that is another can of something else that I just shake my head to and say ok to whatever she wants to accesorize us with...her theme is (and I kind you not) Springtime Bohemian Fairy talePrincess Chic

What the Fuck is that? Someone please GIF this?

KwajKenDean

lurkergirl said:

mikenberger said:

KwajKenDean said:

flutteringinfl said:

Did she ask you your budget before she chose the dress? Is the dress within your budget? Not saying you should buy it if it is, but I'm curious.

flutteringinfl said:

She did ask about budget and the dress is within my budget so I have been contemplating buying it since finding out everyone else bought theirs this weekend, but I think someone said on here things can change, I can gain weight, get pregnant...that is the thing that could happen as we are trying right now.

Oh dang. I wonder what'll happen if you're pregnant by then/have a baby before then?... oh snap.

Well, obviously she would need to be removed from the wedding party

littlepep said:

KwajKenDean said:

Without a date or venue, I'd be worried that once the bride finds a venue she will want different dresses than expected because the one she picked before doesn't match the venue.  I'd wait.  I'm surprised others bought them.

Oh that is another can of something else that I just shake my head to and say ok to whatever she wants to accesorize us with...her theme is (and I kind you not) Springtime Bohemian Fairy talePrincess Chic

SHUT UP. That is amazing. You are going to have the BEST stories from this wedding. 

Yes, Yes I will. My truth has always been stranger then fiction. I'm like a magnet for this type of stuff. 

KwajKenDean

lurkergirl said:

mikenberger said:

KwajKenDean said:

flutteringinfl said:

Did she ask you your budget before she chose the dress? Is the dress within your budget? Not saying you should buy it if it is, but I'm curious.

flutteringinfl said:

She did ask about budget and the dress is within my budget so I have been contemplating buying it since finding out everyone else bought theirs this weekend, but I think someone said on here things can change, I can gain weight, get pregnant...that is the thing that could happen as we are trying right now.

Oh dang. I wonder what'll happen if you're pregnant by then/have a baby before then?... oh snap.

Well, obviously she would need to be removed from the wedding party!

Maybe probably so..after all I have until June to get pregnant so I can deliver in March.

hellosweetie1015

KwajKenDean said:

Without a date or venue, I'd be worried that once the bride finds a venue she will want different dresses than expected because the one she picked before doesn't match the venue.  I'd wait.  I'm surprised others bought them.

Oh that is another can of something else that I just shake my head to and say ok to whatever she wants to accesorize us with...her theme is (and I kind you not) Springtime Bohemian Fairy talePrincess Chic

HOLY SHIT ARE YOU SERIOUS?!

I was staying out of this - PPs have it covered - but HOLY SHIT that is FANTASTIC. Please please pretty please come back and tell us stories.

lovemesomemonster

Here is what I'm seeing for this wedding.. 

Maggie0829

KwajKenDean said:

Without a date or venue, I'd be worried that once the bride finds a venue she will want different dresses than expected because the one she picked before doesn't match the venue.  I'd wait.  I'm surprised others bought them.

Oh that is another can of something else that I just shake my head to and say ok to whatever she wants to accesorize us with...her theme is (and I kind you not) Springtime Bohemian Fairy talePrincess Chic