awkward registry requests

JaniV123

So I got a call from some family members asking why I didn't have expensive high quality things on my registry because they wanted to gift me quality things that would last me a long time and I could remember their gifts for a long time. I said we put on what we needed and wanted to be reasonable, and they said to put things a little better/higher up in price so that people had more choices. 

It made me blush a little and feel a tad awkward so I exchanged some things for things of higher value that we had decided against as for not to seem to extravagant in out registry. 

Have you ever had anything similar happen? 

PS. just to clarify its very close family who are very honest and open and not at all meant to be rude to me or anything like that. 

Jells2dot0

I had several different people mention that I should have a registry at Tiffany. I'm not a fancy person AT ALL and didn't want any china-type items, but I still created the registry and put mainly wine/beer glasses on there, but also picture frames and crystal bowls/candle sticks. Oddly enough, that registry was almost bought out in its entirety! I don't use my wine or beer glasses very often, but all of my crystal is displayed.

larrygaga

I didn't have that, specifically. My most expensive thing was a kitchenaid. I come from a poor area, and it was actually a group of friends that got together and purchased it!

Only register for what you want. However, if you want nice things go ahead and register! If someone doesn't want to buy you the nice things, they won't. 

I did have a family friend tell me the dinnerware I choose wasn't good so she bought me a "better" set. I registered for beautiful nortiake and she got me some janky dish set that is this horrible bright red from walmart. I recognize it because I have that brand in my house right now. It chips and breaks if you look at it wrong. 

ChemFanatic25

My boyfriend's brother and FSIL put a $1000 tea set on their registry. I'm curious if anyone will actually purchase it.

JaniV123

@chemfanatic25 my cousin and his Fi put a $500 decanter and it was bought so anything is possible

themuffinman16

The most expensive gift anyone ever got me off my registry was $100.  I all ready have an amazing knife set and pot and pan set. I put some rather expensive things on my registry just to have for the completion discount. That's what we bought with our gift cards.

allispain

I didn't put much that was expensive one mine either - the most expensive was the kitchenaid. Everything else was probably $75 or less. The kitchenaid was the first thing bought off the registry (a group gift from aunt/uncle and their adult children). I had several people buy 3-4 different things from the higher end of the rest, because they wanted to get us something really nice. I also had an aunt who bought me a $200 attachment for the kitchenaid because she saw it had been purchased and thought I would like the attachment (one of two things she got us). I certainly felt spoiled by some of those purchases, but was also very appreciative of everyone who sent us those very nice and (in my opinion) quite expensive gifts.

ETA - can't spell today

minttobemrsb

Everything on our registry is fairly inexpensive. The two expensive items we registered for were pots and pans and a kitchenaid mixer, both of which we will get our fair use out of. 

One of our friends did mention that we had no electronics on our registry, which I thought was weird. We both have a btv, dvd/bluray player, and stereos. FI owns an xbox which will obviously come with us.What electronics do we need and is it even okay to register for them? 

STARMOON44

Personally I like buying something in the china/crystal family for around $150-200, so I prefer a registry with a higher price point. But I would never say anything like that to the couple!

luckya23

minttobemrsb said:

Everything on our registry is fairly inexpensive. The two expensive items we registered for were pots and pans and a kitchenaid mixer, both of which we will get our fair use out of. 

One of our friends did mention that we had no electronics on our registry, which I thought was weird. We both have a btv, dvd/bluray player, and stereos. FI owns an xbox which will obviously come with us.What electronics do we need and is it even okay to register for them? 

Yeah, that seems weird to me about electronics... unless they meant like a toaster oven or griddle?

luckya23

My 1st shower invites just went out, and I've already heard that my registry is "boring"... not sure exactly what this person was looking to get me!?

minttobemrsb

luckya23 said:

minttobemrsb said:

Everything on our registry is fairly inexpensive. The two expensive items we registered for were pots and pans and a kitchenaid mixer, both of which we will get our fair use out of. 

One of our friends did mention that we had no electronics on our registry, which I thought was weird. We both have a btv, dvd/bluray player, and stereos. FI owns an xbox which will obviously come with us.What electronics do we need and is it even okay to register for them? 

Yeah, that seems weird to me about electronics... unless they meant like a toaster oven or griddle?

I doubt it. We have both of those items on our registry...someone already bought the toaster. I peak

littlepep

ChemFanatic25 said:

My boyfriend's brother and FSIL put a $1000 tea set on their registry. I'm curious if anyone will actually purchase it.

WTF? Are they planning on hosting the queen??

amelisha

I got harassed about not having one and now I'm being harassed about it not being big enough, and it's all unnecessary because we're hardly having any guests and the few things I picked out (mostly under $50) are not going to be bought anyway. But FMIL seems to think that all the family members we DIDN'T invite are going to want to send gifts. Yeah, okay.

thisismynickname2

I think it's horribly tacky for anyone to judge your registry to your face or otherwise try to get you to change what you registered for. The point of a registry is to show what you would like to have, so if you don't want it, that's why you didn't register for it! 

The same expensive thing you register for to appease some hoity-toity family member is the same expensive thing your frugal friend will silently judge you for.

A friend of mine, her fiance registered for something really untraditional and expensive (but totally suits their personalities) and we laughed about it. She thought registering for it looked super greedy but she's also aware her fiance has wealthy family that would buy it.... and they did! 

If you don't have something needlessly expensive on your registry, someone who wants to lavish you with something expensive can write a big ole fat check instead. 

labro

I personally like seeing a wide range of items on a registry, because if I want to splurge on an expensive gift, then it's easy for me to find something that fits in the "splurge" budget. I'm not one to write checks though either, so there's that. I understand the argument behind "if they want to get you something expensive they can just give you money" but I really prefer giving physical gifts over straight cash. At least if there are higher-end items on a registry I have options rather than buying a hodge-podge of things to fit in to what I wanted to spend. I've never judged anyone for having a well-balanced mix of expensive and low cost items.

I don't think it's right for people to go and criticize your registry for not being big enough, or not having "nice" enough items. Keep those thoughts to yourself IMO.

larrygaga

littlepep said:

ChemFanatic25 said:

My boyfriend's brother and FSIL put a $1000 tea set on their registry. I'm curious if anyone will actually purchase it.

WTF? Are they planning on hosting the queen??

LOL.

I would be afraid to have that in my house. I have computers worth the same but at least I am not as easily able to smash them. 

tcnoble

I wouldn't register for something if you don't truly want/need it. If you don't want/need anything on the expensive end, then don't register for it.

We registered for an expensive pot/pan set and an expensive knife block. Because we desperately needed new ones, and we like great cookware. We did not register for expensive table settings, or the $40 pizza pan, because they didn't hold as much value to us.

I had a friend tell me to register for expensive things we didn't really want so that we could return them for store credit. We did not follow this advice.

theartistformerlyknownas

Am I the only one who thought this was going to be about someone registering for nipple clamps or something? Talk of tea sets is disappointing.

ashley8918

lolo883 said:

Am I the only one who thought this was going to be about someone registering for nipple clamps or something? Talk of tea sets is disappointing.

My first thought was absolutely dildos.

lovemesomemonster

I'm having the opposite problem and feel like people will judge! We weren't even going to register and then relatives and friends started asking about it so we thought we might want to register for a few things so we don't get a bunch of things we don't need. We don't like clutter so anything that doesn't fit in goes in our house. After living together for 6yrs we don't need a lot of the more inexpensive things, if we need them we buy them. Things we need are new vacuum, pressure washer, knife set etc. I am currently trying to struggle through the next 9 months with a can opener that hardly works and shitty measuring cups just so I have something smaller to register for!

classicalandedgy

This is my second marriage and I was not going to register... My family is usually just a check or cash at the wedding family and we are not having a shower to purchase gifts for.   But my FI said his family almost exclusively only does gifts for weddings, so I registered.  I feel terrible about having registered at all and most of the stuff is probably on the more expensive side because we have both been married before and on our own for a long time.  We just really don't need stuff for the house, anything that we may want and really it's a want because we don't need anything, would be an upgrade.  I have been having conflicting feelings about this and sometimes feel like I should just take my registry down.