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Honoring mom & step mom?

sharkattack1989.defunct635831054205898261sharkattack1989.defunct635831054205898261 member
5 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper First Comment
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
Hi, all--

My fiance's father has been divorced twice, and my fiance is close to both his mom and his step mom. Any tips on how we honor these two women in the ceremony/reception fairly equally? (For the records, the moms get along great, but his dad and step mom still aren't on very good terms.)

Not worried about a ton of drama, really, we just want to make sure we're showing everyone respect with things like the rehearsal dinner, wedding party, photos, dances, etc.

If anyone else has a similar situation and can offer advice I'd greatly appreciate it!
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Re: Honoring mom & step mom?

  • MairePoppyMairePoppy mod
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    Get all the moms corsages. All parents can sit in front row with their partners. Have her listed under 'Groom's Family' in the programs, if you're having them.
    At the reception, let each parent or set of parents host their own table. Does your fi want to have a spotlight dance with both moms? He could start with his mother and SM could cut in half way through.

                       
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  • princessleia22princessleia22 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment First Answer

    I don't think there is too much involvement with groom's mom(s). Get them both corsages (if you are doing them). Often groom will walk mom in her seat at ceremony... there's no reason he can't walk them both in, one on each arm. 

    There's no reason he can't do photos with each of them. We did photos with each set of parents, so just do one with his mom (and stepdad, if there is one), one with mom & dad, and one with is dad & stepmom.

    For dances, it depends on whether he really wants to honor them equally or not.  You could choose to not do mother-son spotlight dances at all.  He could do the mother-son spotlight dance, then still dance with step-mom without it being a dedicated spotlight dance (I'd probably recommend this option). That would still give mom the full honor spot, but still include step-mom. You could even still choose a song special to FI and stepmom, even if it's not a solo dance.  We actually had them announce father/daughter and mother/son dances, but kept the dance floor open to guests, so it wasn't a dedicated spotlight dance. It was still special for them, but it wasn't as formal and guests didn't get stuck standing around watching 20 spotlight dances. Our only dedicated solo dance was about 60 seconds of our first dance, then DJ invited guests to join us on the floor.

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  • sharkattack1989.defunct635831054205898261sharkattack1989.defunct635831054205898261 member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper First Comment
    @princessleia22 and @Mairepoppy Thank you both! These are good ideas. Not doing a mother-son dance might be a good solution. I'll see how he feels about that. (I know I want to dance with my dad but I don't know if he cares to do a spotlight dance.) Definitely don't want guests to sit through a milion dances.
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  • littlepeplittlepep member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    I have stepparents too. I got all the moms corsages and all the dads bouts. They will sit in the front row. I'm only dancing with my dad though during the spotlight. 

    MairePoppy that if he wants to dance with both, have stepmom cut in. Don't have two separate ones. That's too much spotlight dancing IMO.  
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