Save the Date Dilemma

erinkelsey3

Hi guys! I'm coming out of lurktown to ask for advice from you wise Knotties.

I sent out my Save the Dates almost three weeks ago now. I live in a tiny little state, so most in-state mail arrives at the destination within a day or two. Over the last few weeks I have gotten really paranoid that people weren't receiving their STDs... so I started casually asking a few people in person. As it turns out, my gut feeling was right and a bunch of people never received their STD. 

I contacted the post office and they said that I either had insufficient postage (very unlikely, since I double checked at the post office before I sent them) or that the STDs had simply gotten destroyed in the machinery.

That was pretty much all the help they could give me. To add to my confusion, some of my in-state friends and relatives just received their STDs yesterday. Idk what the hell is going on.

Anyway, my question is, what is the proper way to deal with this?? Should I call each and every person I'm inviting to make sure they know the wedding date? Should I just let it go and send out the invites a little early? I'm confused. And a little mad at USPS. Help!

flutteringinfl

Can you not re-send the STD's? I found out a couple people never received ours, for whatever reason, so I just re-sent them and gave apologies.

erinkelsey3

flutteringinfl said:

Can you not re-send the STD's? I found out a couple people never received ours, for whatever reason, so I just re-sent them and gave apologies.

That was my first thought, but I don't know who did or did not receive them. So then I figured, if I'm going to contact everyone to see if they got one, I might as well just tell them what the wedding date is.

KatieinBkln

I think it depends on your budget. If you'd rather not spend the $$ to print new STDs and ship them out (AND if you don't want to spend the time to figure out who did or didn't receive them, ugh) then I think it's totally fine to inform your VIPs of your date by word-of-mouth.

Depending on your relationships, it could be as formal or informal as you like. I wouldn't go too crazy apologizing about the lack of paper STDs (since they are not strictly required anyway). Just something simple like, "I sent save the dates but the Postal Service managed to lose them! In any case, I wanted to let you know that we are getting married on [Date] and I hope you can be there!"

flutteringinfl

erinkelsey3 said:

flutteringinfl said:

Can you not re-send the STD's? I found out a couple people never received ours, for whatever reason, so I just re-sent them and gave apologies.

That was my first thought, but I don't know who did or did not receive them. So then I figured, if I'm going to contact everyone to see if they got one, I might as well just tell them what the wedding date is.

I think that's fine. Are you having an out of town wedding? If so, you should definitely not wait until the invites to make sure people know that they're invited. ETA: And if you talk to someone and they said they didn't receive it, send it even if you tell them the date. It's a good physical reminder, and we've found a lot of our guests enjoy receiving them even if they've already made travel plans or know the date.

madamerwin

I would contact people by phone and/or email. If they really were destroyed by the machinery at USPS, then re-sending STDs could result in the same outcome. Do you have email addresses for your guests (at least some of them)? If so, I would send personal emails to each person/party - at least for those who have email and check it regularly - and then call people who may not have email.

If there are too many people to be able to contact them all in a reasonable amount of time, prioritize - contact close family/friends first, especially those who will have to travel.

Either way, I wouldn't worry too much - STDs are not mandatory. When we set our date, we just told our VIPs via email, text, or a phone call.

flutteringinfl suggested.

ElcaB

Did you mail postcards? We used postcards for our RSVP responses & even though they all came back, some were kind of damaged from the PO machinery. 

Honestly, I wouldn't resend them because if you do, you'll likely end up with the same issue. Unless it's a destination wedding (is it?), I'd just shrug it off. 

erinkelsey3

KatieinBkln said:

I think it depends on your budget. If you'd rather not spend the $$ to print new STDs and ship them out (AND if you don't want to spend the time to figure out who did or didn't receive them, ugh) then I think it's totally fine to inform your VIPs of your date by word-of-mouth.

Depending on your relationships, it could be as formal or informal as you like. I wouldn't go too crazy apologizing about the lack of paper STDs (since they are not strictly required anyway). Just something simple like, "I sent save the dates but the Postal Service managed to lose them! In any case, I wanted to let you know that we are getting married on [Date] and I hope you can be there!"

Okay. Yeah the money wouldn't be an issue (we designed our own postcards and ordered them on Vistaprint... super cheap!) but I'm honestly way too lazy to figure out who needs a new STD. I think I'll do the email/call route. Thanks!

erinkelsey3

flutteringinfl said:

erinkelsey3 said:

flutteringinfl said:

Can you not re-send the STD's? I found out a couple people never received ours, for whatever reason, so I just re-sent them and gave apologies.

That was my first thought, but I don't know who did or did not receive them. So then I figured, if I'm going to contact everyone to see if they got one, I might as well just tell them what the wedding date is.

I think that's fine. Are you having an out of town wedding? If so, you should definitely not wait until the invites to make sure people know that they're invited. ETA: And if you talk to someone and they said they didn't receive it, send it even if you tell them the date. It's a good physical reminder, and we've found a lot of our guests enjoy receiving them even if they've already made travel plans or know the date.

I selfishly want our faces on all of our guests' refrigerators but I'm afraid they would just get lost/destroyed again. Maybe I'll hand deliver them to guests that are close by. Oh, also, it's not an out of town wedding but we do have a good amount of people who are coming from a few hours away.

erinkelsey3

tfmrserwin said:

I would contact people by phone and/or email. If they really were destroyed by the machinery at USPS, then re-sending STDs could result in the same outcome. Do you have email addresses for your guests (at least some of them)? If so, I would send personal emails to each person/party - at least for those who have email and check it regularly - and then call people who may not have email.

If there are too many people to be able to contact them all in a reasonable amount of time, prioritize - contact close family/friends first, especially those who will have to travel.

Either way, I wouldn't worry too much - STDs are not mandatory. When we set our date, we just told our VIPs via email, text, or a phone call.

flutteringinfl suggested.

I think this is what I will do. Thank you for the advice!

erinkelsey3

ElcaB said:

Did you mail postcards? We used postcards for our RSVP responses & even though they all came back, some were kind of damaged from the PO machinery. 

Honestly, I wouldn't resend them because if you do, you'll likely end up with the same issue. Unless it's a destination wedding (is it?), I'd just shrug it off. 

Yep, we used postcards Kinda grumpy with the USPS right now.

flutteringinfl

erinkelsey3 said:

flutteringinfl said:

erinkelsey3 said:

flutteringinfl said:

Can you not re-send the STD's? I found out a couple people never received ours, for whatever reason, so I just re-sent them and gave apologies.

That was my first thought, but I don't know who did or did not receive them. So then I figured, if I'm going to contact everyone to see if they got one, I might as well just tell them what the wedding date is.

I think that's fine. Are you having an out of town wedding? If so, you should definitely not wait until the invites to make sure people know that they're invited. ETA: And if you talk to someone and they said they didn't receive it, send it even if you tell them the date. It's a good physical reminder, and we've found a lot of our guests enjoy receiving them even if they've already made travel plans or know the date.

I selfishly want our faces on all of our guests' refrigerators but I'm afraid they would just get lost/destroyed again. Maybe I'll hand deliver them to guests that are close by. Oh, also, it's not an out of town wedding but we do have a good amount of people who are coming from a few hours away.

Then I would prioritize those guests first. We did the exact same thing as you (postcard we designed and ordered through Vistaprint). How many parties are on your list?

My mom was freaking out because she thought hers didn't come, but it turns out she just didn't notice it at the bottom of her mailbox. If I had known what postcards go through (hadn't sent or received one in a long time), I would have gone with regular cards in envelopes, even though it's more expensive.

thisismynickname2

Though I see a resolution has been found, I couldn't resist this from Bride Wars:

erinkelsey3

@flutteringinfl We have about 80 parties/households. We do have some extra STDs so maybe I'll send those out to the out-of-town guests and just hope for the best. Lesson learned regarding postcards!!

erinkelsey3

thisismynickname said:

Though I see a resolution has been found, I couldn't resist this from Bride Wars:

HAHA YESSS!!! God, this is SO tempting...

southernbelle0915

We made the mistake of using postcards and not putting our return address on stuff as well. And we had several people who didn't get theirs. We also had a couple people who didn't get wedding invites, though, and we definitely had a return address on those so I think our post office just majorly sucks. 

Just send a mass email and BCC everyone. Explain that you had some USPS issues and here's the need-to-know info. Not much else you can do unless you want to re-mail to everyone or individually call people.

kvruns

We used post card STDs and also Post card RSVPs and other than ink being messed up on a few RSVPs I didn't notice a problem. The post cards almost always arrived to us in batches, and while there could be a random coincidence it seemed like they were held for a couple days or something and then we'd get a mailbox full of post card RSVPs back.