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My boyfriend's tattoos

OwningAHome1981OwningAHome1981 member
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I'm an open-minded person. I try & see people for who they are. I love my boyfriend's tattoos & think they are great, but there's a part of me that gets concerned for his future & his career. His current job doesn't mind them, but he talks about getting his whole body done one day (he has about 10 now & has plans for more to get a bunch until he is covered) - but if he ever decides to get a new job or he gets lets go from this one for whatever reason, I get concerned another company may not hire him.... even though he is an amazing employee, super smart & hardworking. Unfortunately many workplaces have an issue with them. I don't agree with that thinking, but that is just how it is. I have always been supportive of his tattoos and I don't want to be controlling about telling him he can't get more, but I do think my concern is a legit one and I'm not sure how to approach him about it. (his ex wife & ex gf both hated the tats & he hated that they didn't support him, so I don't want to come off as unsupportive - I'm just a concerned gf b/c I love him)
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Re: My boyfriend's tattoos

  • luckya23luckya23 member
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    Doesn't he have room left where they could be covered by normal work clothing?

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  • lovemesomemonsterlovemesomemonster member
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    Are they on his hands, face, or neck? If not I wouldn't worry about employment. If he can cover them up in business attire then nobody interviewing him will ever know. I was at my place of work for almost 3 years before anyone knew I had any because when I'm wearing clothes you can't see them. 

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  • climbingsingleclimbingsingle member
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    OMG HE WANTS TO TATTOO HIS WHOLE BODY? WHAT A LOSER. YOU SHOULD DUMP HIM NOW. 
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  • OwningAHome1981OwningAHome1981 member
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    I don't disagree but if he can't get a job and we get married somewhere down the line then I would have to support him so it's a legit concern. I already supported one husband lol & that didn't work out. Right now yes clothes cover them, but eventually the plan is for neck too.
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  • littlepeplittlepep member
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    ashley8918 said:

    DO NOT approach him with it. It is none of your business. If he asks your opinion, you can share (i.e. "Hay gurl, should I get a face tattoo?" "NO"). Otherwise, No. Back off.


    His body is not your property.
    This. Unfortunately, it's not your business because it's not your body. Unless he asks your opinion, you can't tell him what to do with his body. 
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  • ShesSoColdShesSoCold mod
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    OwningAHome1981 said:

    I'm an open-minded person. I try & see people for who they are. I love my boyfriend's tattoos & think they are great, but there's a part of me that gets concerned for his future & his career. His current job doesn't mind them, but he talks about getting his whole body done one day (he has about 10 now & has plans for more to get a bunch until he is covered) - but if he ever decides to get a new job or he gets lets go from this one for whatever reason, I get concerned another company may not hire him.... even though he is an amazing employee, super smart & hardworking. Unfortunately many workplaces have an issue with them. I don't agree with that thinking, but that is just how it is. I have always been supportive of his tattoos and I don't want to be controlling about telling him he can't get more, but I do think my concern is a legit one and I'm not sure how to approach him about it. (his ex wife & ex gf both hated the tats & he hated that they didn't support him, so I don't want to come off as unsupportive - I'm just a concerned gf b/c I love him)

    Why are you even worried about this? None of this should be your concern at all.

    Just out of curiousity, what does he do for a living?
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  • theartistformerlyknownastheartistformerlyknownas member
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    OwningAHome1981 said:

    I don't disagree but if he can't get a job and we get married somewhere down the line then I would have to support him so it's a legit concern. I already supported one husband lol & that didn't work out. Right now yes clothes cover them, but eventually the plan is for neck too.

    It's still his decision on what to do with his body. The only say you have in the matter is whether you stay with him or leave. 

    I'm sure he realizes that neck tattoos aren't going to go over well on Wall Street or some similarly stuffy corporate gig. If he chooses to take that calculated risk, it's his risk to take. I think if you were already married and knew for a fact that his livelihood would be negatively impacted you would have more right to be part of the discussion but right now... suck it up, buttercup. Or mosey. Those are your choices.
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  • OwningAHome1981OwningAHome1981 member
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    ShesSoCold said:

    OwningAHome1981 said:

    I'm an open-minded person. I try & see people for who they are. I love my boyfriend's tattoos & think they are great, but there's a part of me that gets concerned for his future & his career. His current job doesn't mind them, but he talks about getting his whole body done one day (he has about 10 now & has plans for more to get a bunch until he is covered) - but if he ever decides to get a new job or he gets lets go from this one for whatever reason, I get concerned another company may not hire him.... even though he is an amazing employee, super smart & hardworking. Unfortunately many workplaces have an issue with them. I don't agree with that thinking, but that is just how it is. I have always been supportive of his tattoos and I don't want to be controlling about telling him he can't get more, but I do think my concern is a legit one and I'm not sure how to approach him about it. (his ex wife & ex gf both hated the tats & he hated that they didn't support him, so I don't want to come off as unsupportive - I'm just a concerned gf b/c I love him)

    Why are you even worried about this? None of this should be your concern at all.

    Just out of curiousity, what does he do for a living?
    I'm worried about it b/c if we get married and for whatever reason he doesn't work for this co anymore & can't get work then I'm the one supporting him.
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  • STARMOON44STARMOON44 member
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    Cool idea. What if you need to get a new job though? Lots of places won't hire people with visible tattoos.

    And then listen.
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  • JCbride2015JCbride2015 member
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    I'm assuming that he understands neck and hand tattoos might close him off from certain corporate jobs, right?  If he's considering neck tattoos, he probably isn't interested in those jobs anyway.

    You sound super judgey.  It's his body and his job.  If you are seriously that concerned that he's making choices that would mean you have to support him, then that could become a relationship issue.  But it isn't really about his tattoos.
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  • OwningAHome1981OwningAHome1981 member
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    lolo883 said:

    OwningAHome1981 said:

    I don't disagree but if he can't get a job and we get married somewhere down the line then I would have to support him so it's a legit concern. I already supported one husband lol & that didn't work out. Right now yes clothes cover them, but eventually the plan is for neck too.

    It's still his decision on what to do with his body. The only say you have in the matter is whether you stay with him or leave. 

    I'm sure he realizes that neck tattoos aren't going to go over well on Wall Street or some similarly stuffy corporate gig. If he chooses to take that calculated risk, it's his risk to take. I think if you were already married and knew for a fact that his livelihood would be negatively impacted you would have more right to be part of the discussion but right now... suck it up, buttercup. Or mosey. Those are your choices.
    Fair enough. Thanks.
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  • climbingsingleclimbingsingle member
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    I think you absolutely need to sit him down and tell him exactly what you told us. And then please report back how that conversation went. 
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  • VulgarGirlVulgarGirl member
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    Actually a lot of industries are changing in regards to tattoos. 

    Think of this way, my generation didn't grow up with tattoos being as stigmatized and we're the ones working out way up the corporate ladder now. While in some industries they are still anti-tattoo, most are loosing up on tattoo policies and many don't have any now. I mean, if he's getting a swastika on his neck well then no, he's not going to get hired anywhere and also he's a terrible person. 

    My personal advice is to never get a tattoo you can't hide in front of a judge. Depending on placement a neck tattoo can be covered with a button down shirt which is acceptable in basically ever office ever.

    A lot of tattoo magazines have been running articles on tattooed professionals. Including photos of them in their work looks and then photos of them showing their tattoos.

    But regardless, he gets body autonomy in the relationship. Same as you. If you don't like his tattoos you are free to end the relationship. You are not free to dictate how his body looks.
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  • OwningAHome1981OwningAHome1981 member
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    ashley8918 said:

    JCbride2015 said:

    I'm assuming that he understands neck and hand tattoos might close him off from certain corporate jobs, right?  If he's considering neck tattoos, he probably isn't interested in those jobs anyway.


    You sound super judgey.  It's his body and his job.  If you are seriously that concerned that he's making choices that would mean you have to support him, then that could become a relationship issue.  But it isn't really about his tattoos.
    NO! She is an open-minded person! GOD, JC.
    If I wasn't open-minded I would have walked away the moment I knew he had tattoos. The whole body thing is a recent development.
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  • ShesSoColdShesSoCold mod
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    I still want to know what this guy does. There are a lot of industries where no one gives a shit. 

    FWIW, my H has lots of tattoos (even on his hands! The horror!), but he works in the trades and it's not a concern. He chose a career before he got his tattoos and luckily it's a career where his tattoos are unlikely to be a problem. 

    And my heavily tattooed H makes more than I do. 
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  • kaos16kaos16 member
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    Wait, stop the presses. . . . nobody told me that I can't be a successful professional with all of the tattoos that I have!!!!!

    Seriously OP, if he is a mature adult he should understand the possible effects of tattoo choices on potential career advancement.  It isn't your place to comment on that if he still chooses to get more.
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  • pinkcow13pinkcow13 member
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    Where are his current tats and where does he want the new ones? I work for a very conservative company. They only just changed the dress code to business casual, but we used to be business attire. There is a guy who goes to the gym here and he has tats all over his arms, but every time I see him enter or leave the gym, he has a long sleeve shirt on. As long as they are not like on his face or neck, he will be fine during the interview process. 

    If he asks you your opinion, I would just say something like "That sounds like a cool tattoo, but do you think it would be an issue if you were to move to another company/job/etc?" Then leave it at that. I totally get that you're concerned, but anything more than that could come off as nagging.
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  • JCbride2015JCbride2015 member
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    FWIW, my sister has visible tattoos and she is a dental hygienist.  In her scrubs, you can see the top of her back tattoo which kind of goes up her neck, and a small heart on her wrist.  No doctor or patient has ever complained.
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  • STARMOON44STARMOON44 member
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    edited April 2015
    I'm really surprised by the tone of these responses. I don't think you get to dictate appearance to your partner, but I do think you get to discuss it. How long are you planning on keeping that beard because it's scratching my thighs? Oh you're thinking about Botox- but I'd miss your eyebrow raise?

    I think it's completely acceptable to talk about these things with your partner and share your thoughts about it, and listen to theirs.

    ETA: I think it's also good for him to know what you're thinking. Maybe he's completely offended by your trying to control him. Maybe he thinks it's cute that you're thinking long term. But letting him make life decisions with an honest understanding of what you're thinking seems like generally a good relationship move.
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  • VulgarGirlVulgarGirl member
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    OwningAHome1981 said:

    ashley8918 said:

    JCbride2015 said:

    I'm assuming that he understands neck and hand tattoos might close him off from certain corporate jobs, right?  If he's considering neck tattoos, he probably isn't interested in those jobs anyway.


    You sound super judgey.  It's his body and his job.  If you are seriously that concerned that he's making choices that would mean you have to support him, then that could become a relationship issue.  But it isn't really about his tattoos.
    NO! She is an open-minded person! GOD, JC.
    If I wasn't open-minded I would have walked away the moment I knew he had tattoos. The whole body thing is a recent development.
    Wait..for real? You think dating someone with tattoos makes you open minded? I know more people with tattoos then without. And that's not just because of the industry I'm in.

    Yes, 50 years ago tattoos were for sailors and outlaws. But ya know, things have changed in the last....oh I forgot. You like tradition. You miss the days of women in the kitchen and men in the board rooms. Never mind. 
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  • sarawifenowsarawifenow member
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    As long as he isn't getting hate tattoos, this isn't really something you can voice an opinion on. H has a really lame and poorly done tattoo on his pec. He wants to get it redone. I am not a fan of it, but I am supportive of my H. It's his body.
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  • OwningAHome1981OwningAHome1981 member
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    scribe95 said:

    Yeah, this is a lot of unnecessary worrying about things that MIGHT or MIGHT NOT occur years from now. You remember that better or for worse thing? If you love him and want that then none of this matters.

    I know. But I was already married & divorced once. I loved my ex for better or worse and yet he still ended it b/c he wanted to smoke pot & drink & not work... this guy isn't like that but I guess I'm sometimes nervous about the future
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  • ashley8918ashley8918 member
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    kaos16 said:

    Wait, stop the presses. . . . nobody told me that I can't be a successful professional with all of the tattoos that I have!!!!!


    Seriously OP, if he is a mature adult he should understand the possible effects of tattoo choices on potential career advancement.  It isn't your place to comment on that if he still chooses to get more.
    I have very visible boob tattoos. Someone should tell my VERY corporate pharmaceutical company that they should not have hired me 4 years ago. After I interviewewd with the tattoos visible. THE HORROR!
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  • climbingsingleclimbingsingle member
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    edited April 2015
    STARMOON44 said:

    I'm really surprised by the tone of these responses. I don't think you get to dictate appearance to your partner, but I do think you get to discuss it. How long are you planning on keeping that beard because it's scratching my thighs? Oh you're thinking about Botox- but I'd miss your eyebrow raise?

    I think it's completely acceptable to talk about these things with your partner and share your thoughts about it, and listen to theirs.

    That's a little different than, "If you're going to get all these tattoos, you might not be able to get a job and then you won't be able to support me." 
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