Moms and Maids

Choosing MOH

I am currently torn about who to choose for my MOH.  I have my "best friend" who I have known for 20 years.  We haven't really been very close the past couple years (different places in life I suppose).  We hardly talk and hardly see each other, but when we do see each other it's like no time has passed.  The other choice is someone I've been friends with for 6 years.  She's definitely my closet girlfriend, we hang out frequently, talk frequently, we have more in common and she's already volunteered to host a shower and already been very hands on.  I feel like I want her to be my MOH but I'm afraid of upsetting the best friend of 20 years.  Both are already married so having a Matron and a Maid is not an option (I was a BM in both, not MOH, BF has sister and other had her college roommate/BF) 

Re: Choosing MOH

  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers

    I am currently torn about who to choose for my MOH.  I have my "best friend" who I have known for 20 years.  We haven't really been very close the past couple years (different places in life I suppose).  We hardly talk and hardly see each other, but when we do see each other it's like no time has passed.  The other choice is someone I've been friends with for 6 years.  She's definitely my closet girlfriend, we hang out frequently, talk frequently, we have more in common and she's already volunteered to host a shower and already been very hands on.  I feel like I want her to be my MOH but I'm afraid of upsetting the best friend of 20 years.  Both are already married so having a Matron and a Maid is not an option (I was a BM in both, not MOH, BF has sister and other had her college roommate/BF) 

    They can both be Matrons of Honor.  You can have two.  There is no rule saying you can't.

    Bolded is not a reason to pick someone to be your MOH.  Your wedding party members have no requirements but to get the attire and attend your ceremony.

    Also weddings are not tit for tat.  Just because you weren't someones MOH doesn't mean that they can't be yours.

    Personally, if you are having such a hard time deciding then it is a pretty good indication that you should just ask both to be your MOH.

    amarie688haleyk620OliveOilsMomlevioosa
  • The title of MOH isn't tied to showers, or other pre-wedding parties. Or whether or not the person will do crafts with you. Anyone can do these things. I've helped with this stuff for weddings I'm not even standing up in at all.

    The title of MOH is for whoever you want standing next to you as you say your vows. That's it. It's just a guest of honor title. And you don't have to have just one MOH or any MOH at all.
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  • I think "Matron" of honor sounds silly, so I'd probably just have them both be bridesmaids and have no MOH.
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    adk19 said:

    I think "Matron" of honor sounds silly, so I'd probably just have them both be bridesmaids and have no MOH.

    Just because they are married you can still call them Maids of Honor.  And seriously no one is going to care that they are called Matron.  The only place that word may even show up is on the program.  It is not a silly word, it is just a word that means that someone is married.  And I think not having a MOH solely because you think the word "matron" sounds silly is kind of ridiculous.

  • Just have them both be Maid of Honors and call it a day.
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
  • I'd just have them both be matron of honors. Appreciate the fact that you have 2 people that you care about that much. 
  • lovesclimbinglovesclimbing Alaska member
    Seventh Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    I think "Matron" of honor sounds silly, so I'd probably just have them both be bridesmaids and have no MOH.
    Just because they are married you can still call them Maids of Honor.  And seriously no one is going to care that they are called Matron.  The only place that word may even show up is on the program.  It is not a silly word, it is just a word that means that someone is married.  And I think not having a MOH solely because you think the word "matron" sounds silly is kind of ridiculous.
    Yes, yes, yes, this.  I have been a maid of honor twice and a bridesmaid once after getting married. Both the brides called me "matron of honor" even though I told them I wasn't a matron. And you don't call people "bridesmatrons!!!"

    If you actually look up the definition, you will see it has connotations of someone older or of a high social position.  So I most definitely was not a matron when I was a maid of honor!

    Miriam-Webster -- an older married woman who usually has a high social position

    Dictionary.com -- a married woman, especially one who is mature and staid or dignified and has an established social position.  

    Freedictionary.com -- A married woman or a widow, especially a mother of dignity, mature age, and established social position.

    Cambridge Dictionary online -- a married woman, especially one who is old or a widow

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