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Can I Bitch For a Moment?

lacqueredloverlacqueredlover member
1000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
in Chit Chat
For some reason, in the last 2 days I've come in contact with a bunch of people who didn't know that I'm no longer engaged.  For the most part, I'm doing really well with it, I got my adorable pup, I've been on a few dates, etc. but having to explain over and over "Oh actually we broke up" just sucks.  And everyone looks at me with this pitying look like "oh you poor thing" and I HATE THAT.  And dating is being stupid and annoying and I'm not meeting anyone great.  The fact that tomorrow would have been our anniversary isn't helping.  Plus I spent Saturday at my good friends bridal shower and while I am so, so incredibly happy for her, it just made me a bit sad.

So now I'm in a bitchy mood and just sad and frustrated and pissed off.  Needed to vent that out.
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Re: Can I Bitch For a Moment?

  • lyndausvilyndausvi mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
    ::hugs::






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
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  • blabla89blabla89 member
    Ninth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    Let it all out.

    Lots of hugs and wine for you.
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  • novella1186novella1186 member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary First Answer
    Hugs. I'm sorry. 

    I had a kind of similar thing happen to me. Was supposed to move across the country with my college boyfriend. I hadn't really told anyone (aside from my best friend and immediate family) which he took as an insult because he thought it meant I wasn't excited, so he nagged me into telling a bunch of people and then word spread. 

    [Sorry if I've told you this story before] 4 days before we were supposed to move, he dumped me out of the blue, and over the phone. Dick. 

    For months afterward, I would run into people who would say shit like, "Why are you in town? Are you back for a visit?" "Hey didn't you move away?" And I had to be like "Nope. Got dumped. Still here." Ugh. 

    But I will tell you that that comes to an end and then you're done with it, and it's another step moving forward. I'm sorry you have to deal with it for now, though. It's sucky :( Just look at your adorable dog's adorable face, cuz you can't see a face like that and not be happy! 
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  • paperpusherpaperpusher member
    500 Love Its Third Anniversary 100 Comments Name Dropper
    Ugh. That's the worst. Sending good vibes.
    Anniversary

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  • thisismynickname2thisismynickname2 member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    Sending hugs your way :)
    ________________________________


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  • novella1186novella1186 member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary First Answer
    lacqueredlover said:

    I mean this is the cutest but I'm at work and away from her now and just in a MOOD


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    OMG that face!!! Lol that is an awesome photo! Could you maybe do a bit of online shopping from work? (I know that's not the best/most professional thing to do, but you deserve to do something fun/kind for yourself as a little pick-me-up). Or maybe order your favorite thing for lunch and also order your favorite dessert? Spoil yourself :) 
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  • OliveOilsMomOliveOilsMom member
    Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers

    I'm sorry.  When people give you the pity look or say something about "you poor dear", then tell them no pity looks or mom pats are necessary.  "Judy, you don't need to give me that pity look.  I am doing really well and don't need sympathy."  Keep it to I statements that are positive about you.  Think of a line to give them now, so it doesn't catch you off guard and you will already have something in your head to respond with.

    I think you are strong woman who is responding well to all that life has thrown at you the past few months!

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  • lacqueredloverlacqueredlover member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    novella1186 said:

    lacqueredlover said:

    I mean this is the cutest but I'm at work and away from her now and just in a MOOD


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    OMG that face!!! Lol that is an awesome photo! Could you maybe do a bit of online shopping from work? (I know that's not the best/most professional thing to do, but you deserve to do something fun/kind for yourself as a little pick-me-up). Or maybe order your favorite thing for lunch and also order your favorite dessert? Spoil yourself :) 
    I'm about to go give myself a manicure in the bathroom and I'm getting a pedicure on my lunch break so hopefully that will help.  I have to have dinner with an aunt I don't get along with tonight so that's not helping matters.  Blah.

    and yes, my elle has the cutest face and she winks!  It's so funny!
    image


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  • flutteringinflflutteringinfl member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    I understand how frustrating it can be to deal with people like that. I think Novella's suggestions are excellent. Treat yourself to a nice dessert, do a little online shopping if you can, something to reinforce that you are living a good life.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker

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  • LondonLisaLondonLisa member
    Eighth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    edited April 2015
    Ugh that is so annoying! Hang in there. And maybe invest in one of these for a cheeky tipple for the foreseeable future:
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  • lacqueredloverlacqueredlover member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    flutteringinfl said:

    Also, I made this for you:

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    Hahaha omg that's amazing
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  • jenna8984jenna8984 member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer

    That sucks! I'm sure people don't even realize they are giving you that "pity" look. But you are bitchin and you are doing amazing so I'm sure after 2 minutes talking with you, they will realize that you are all set ad have no reason to feel badly for you!

    I went to my good friend's wedding earlier this month and watching them do their first dance and the photographer made me tear up because even though I was SO happy for them, all I could think about was all the great pictures she will have that I am missing from mine. It made me really sad and upset but I obviously pushed it aside and had a fun night and then cried when I got home lol. I know it's totally not the same as your situation but I know what it feels like to be happy for others and sad for yourself at the same time.

                                                                     

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  • climbingsingleclimbingsingle member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I'm sorry! My brother had two called-off engagements and I've seen him field those looks too. It sucks. 
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  • levioosalevioosa member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    *Hugs* 



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  • LondonLisaLondonLisa member
    Eighth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    PS- This is the Knot, you don't have to ask permission to bitch for a moment. Love, you can bitch for ALL the moments! We're here for you :)
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  • sarahuflsarahufl member
    Tenth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    Bitch away! You are handling yourself really well, it is only natural to have moments where you aren't.

    I yelled at my OB this morning- she was trying to be nice by saying I will get pregnant again and have my baby and I told her she should never say something like that to anyone that she can't guarantee.

    I had been doing well, too. Till I wasn't. And you know what- I'm not even sorry for yelling at her.
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  • STARMOON44STARMOON44 member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    OliveOilsMom said:

    I'm sorry.  When people give you the pity look or say something about "you poor dear", then tell them no pity looks or mom pats are necessary.  "Judy, you don't need to give me that pity look.  I am doing really well and don't need sympathy."  Keep it to I statements that are positive about you.  Think of a line to give them now, so it doesn't catch you off guard and you will already have something in your head to respond with.

    I think you are strong woman who is responding well to all that life has thrown at you the past few months!

    I think this is a bit much and is going to come off really mean to someone who isn't actually doing anything terribly wrong. Sorry people try to be sympathetic at news that sounds bad? I think you'd accomplish the same thing and seem less defensive with more of "we broke up, but no need to worry it's for the best and I'm doing well."

    And save stop with the pity face for repeat offenders.
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  • lacqueredloverlacqueredlover member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    Thanks everyone.  I'm just in a pissy mood
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  • kaitlynmichellekaitlynmichelle member
    Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 1000 Comments Name Dropper
    That really sucks. I'm sorry. *hugs*
    image Daisypath Anniversary tickers
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  • onefootinthebayouonefootinthebayou member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments Third Anniversary Name Dropper
    If it helps, I met you post break-up and I don't define you in those terms at all. I think you're a kick ass friend, doting momma to Elle, and an all around cool bitch with a great life that I think you should be proud of. Plus, you look amazing on camera and really, how many of us can say that?!

    This is your mantra, repeat as necessary:

    "I am a rock star. I have rad nails. I am gorgeous and witty and smart. I have a rad dog, who has a rad crab. I love my life. I am a rock star..."

    Got it?!
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  • sophhabobophasophhabobopha member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
    That's fucking rude.
    You're free and you have cute pooch and awesome friends and an awesome job! You don't need their pity!
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  • JCbride2015JCbride2015 member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary First Answer
    Bitch away, my dear. You are rocking life right now and don't let anybody make you feel differently!
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    "I'm not a rude bitch.  I'm ten rude bitches in a large coat."

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  • mj8215mj8215 member
    100 Love Its 100 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    Ugh. I've been there and I remember how heartbreaking it can be to have to retell the story over and over to people who haven't heard. The good news is, you don't have to actually do that - PPs have given great advice on elegantly worded general statements to use. And remember, you are, as has been pointed out repeatedly, super awesome! You are handling this way way better than many would. It is freaking hard and you are staying graceful and strong and generally badass. And you are gorgeous! Just keep doing what you're doing! And bitch away!
    - The stars, like dust, encircle me in living mists of light. And all of space I seem to see in one vast burst of sight. 
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  • climbingsingleclimbingsingle member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    lacqueredlover said:

    onefootinthebayou got her that she is OBSESSED with:


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    This is just too cute. I freaking love it. Hi Elle! 
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  • lacqueredloverlacqueredlover member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    climbingwife said:

    lacqueredlover said:

    onefootinthebayou got her that she is OBSESSED with:


    image
    This is just too cute. I freaking love it. Hi Elle! 
    I wish I knew how to embed a video from my instagram of her going nuts on it haha
    image


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